Under the cursed light of the sun, dooming us to eat, fail, and be eaten, we have heard the music.
We have created the song.
We whirl and dance and find our way home, only to find that home was never the place we thought it was.
It was only the place we came from, nothing more.
But still we tilled it, shaping it in our own image, to our own designs, for our own uses.
Until it was unrecognizable.
It was placated, absorbed, and calcified into philosophy, dogma, practice.
Nothing more than reassurance.
But then we became frightened of the heights we built to.
We looked down and saw how far we came.
And some of us jumped, and fell to the start.
But the people still building started to look down, but not at their hubris.
Down at the people, down on their fellow man.
And it became nothing more than division.
But still we built, built deeper and higher at once, until we could not see each other, until the gap was too big to jump.
Until we saw no others but our own.
And we continued on our paths, this time without fear, without challenge.
Until it became nothing more than isolation.
But there were some, still willing to build the middle, to bridge the gap.
And they toiled to the utmost for both their sakes.
For the time when we all would agree on something.
Until it was just...
because braided within me is a plethora of selves / i am patchwork stitched with recollections / a tumultuous fusion of emotions / i am not one person / i was never meant to be
As a girl, many people try to tell you that womanhood is right around the corner. That the right peak of fruit will start to blossom in you. You will start to wear bras that feel itchy and subconscious about the way you are starting to grow.
People try to tell you that you will feel the wrath of pain and destruction within you. You will start feeling a weird sense of maturity when the 'period' comes. It comes fast and at any point in life.
It will grab you from the stomach, make your knees weak, and make you bleed. That's what they say. I was taught in school that this moment will happen, but don't fear it since it is part of life and womanhood.
One day it happened. At the right age of 10 that was the first time I felt blood rushing down my lips outside on my backyard. I felt the pain and destruction within me. I felt the weird sense of maturity that everyone said I will feel.
My mother grabbed me from the stomach as she looked at my face to see what she has done. Blood. A loose tooth. I stopped crying with knee shaking as I looked at her when she said she didn't mean to hurt me. It was my fault for being in trouble.
The sense of maturity washed over me as I realized that I had to become a woman.
I want to talk to you with all honesty sir
I think something is wrong up in the air
everybody here is acting really insane
harassing whoever stays straight in lane
Perhaps it's a decision from the vice president
"having common sense is now prohibited"
so men are trading their minds for extra inches
hoping to compensate for their lack of rizz
you know, 6'2 overall or a nice 7" down
to make up for behaving like a silly clown
emptied their head in hopes of getting one
nothing good would come of this so go run
run far into the distance as far as you can
this is worse than a beast, this is a man
brain dead creatures who think they're superior
and any ambitious woman is considered inferior
but I'm no ordinary woman, I am your nightmare
strip you down from power leaving you weak and bare
it doesn't matter if you're a single one or a hundred
final treasure is mine regardless, earned, not by a bid
you messed up bad then lied out your way
I wonder when facing god, what will you say?
you don't realize the weight of what's going on
and it's due to being brainless as a jellyfish son
these aren't mere rhyming words babe, this is an oath
I'll burn you down, for I'm the flame and you're a moth
There is Beauty Within the Mystery of Your Reflection
Ship: Tim & Marinette
Rating: Teen
Warning: None
Category: Gen
Media Type: Poetry
Word Count: 496
Additional Tags: Reflection, Self-Reflection, Regret, The Wish is Not Worth It, Lesson Learned The Hard Way, POV Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Thank you for being there for me, Allowing me to be in your life, Allowing me to stay, Allowing me to return, Platonic Relationships
Summary: Even if you could have the power to rewrite history, should you? Is it worth it? What consequences may strike you down? What will linger in your mind that you can only process through reflection?
Note: Timari January 2025's Day 4 - "Oh no" was used. @maribat-calendar-events
How powerful are the two words
"Oh no"
Regret in the moment
No taking back what is said
Never did I realize as a child
That with the right people
There are no wrong things to say
Sure, things exist that can need improvement
What I mean is that fate is special
It can be painful as hell
However, it also can be so many other things
Thrilling, Magical, Educational
Living alongside the ones you love
It is the greatest gift
Not in the physical sense,
In the conversations you are allotted to have
Life can be so short
It is an action that can never be undone
Best to learn that lesson now
Save some of the fracturing of the future
Friends that you collect along the way
They shift like the tide that is most beautiful at its ebb
Some will stay with you through every riptide
Others leave you forever
The most noteworthy ones you will see again
When you need help healing the most
Even if you think you are a master of luck,
There is no stopping that fate
It will come and go
Remember you can always reach out to them
Every relationship is a two-way path
It is a rocky road like that to Dublin
Letting there be a choice for each to travel down
It allows you to see who is willing to travel the distance
The journey down an unkept path can be scary
A path that was left to the years to cover up
Whatever the reason
Give not into the lack of sight
Instead remain or gain the confidence
To realize you still know the way
As they say,
Home is where the heart is
Your heart is the result of your mind and soul
Each give unto your growth
The Soul shows your experiences
What you have lived through
Your perseverance
Your Past
The Mind gives the growth from the soul
It shapes your intuition
Sharpens you
Your Future
The Heart reveals who you are though
How you choose to use the wisdom of
Your mind and soul gifting
Your Present
Accepting the present can be hard
Not everything you receive will be wanted
Do not take the good things for granted
Wishing for a part of the past to change is impossible
Every wish comes at a cost
You trade your pain away to someone else
Is it truly worth it?
Redoing the past to ruin another's Heart, Mind and Soul
I have learned the hard way
The trade is not worth it
Resentment only leads to further hurt
Reflect instead
Even the broken stained-glass pieces of yourself,
Seemingly with pieces too fractured to put back together,
Are but a puzzle ready to be solved
A riddle only those who learn perseverance can solve
All I have left to say is this
When you think about giving up,
Look in the mirror and remember
There is beauty within the mystery of your reflection
~
Notes:
A few pieces within this are different poem fragments that have come along in the past year. I have found beauty in the things that I got the pleasure of having, learned to accept that the past cannot be changed, and found a way to thrive in the future.
Sure, there are still plenty of obstacles ahead. I am ready to face them and if I can help those I hold dear through their own, it is the best present to give.
Blessed is the broken road that led me straight to those that have come into my life the past two years that without I would have never healed. It continues on to a friend I left at that time who I want to find comfort in once more.
Ao3 Link: There is Beauty Within the Mystery of Your Reflection
Scarlet's Soliloquies and Sonnets:
Ao3 Only: Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6
Cross-Posted (Tumblr Links): Part 7 ~ Part 8 ~ Part 9 ~ Current ~ Part 11
I made of myself a great many things from whence I was made a child
I was a cloud dancing in the after-school breeze in the sky
I made sticks into swords
Before my childhood matured into late-adolescent adulthood
I was shunted–shoved by others who made me something else
Observing the simplicity of a windcut leaf
I was cloven so cleanly
Fascinated with that slice I studied how to make myself into something more
Two halves carried with me in life
As the two swords Musashi took life
Faced again adversity and adversary
Even when I retreat inward on myself
I divide even further my forces to turn myself into an army
Rows of soldiers, students to discipline and distraction
Armed with swords and sort of sentences
Rambling, ambling armies
Aimed at five-finger-ringed-perfection
Ready to grasp at the world
To be wield, held like a sword – primed to make something else of it
Will I meet an opponent before sunset?
Make me into one thing again
Sticks would once again be sticks
Simple branches from the tree, as fallen as me
Many more great things are to be made of me
Simple made great
Broken made whole
One made two and two made one
@env0writes C.Buck
Ko-Fi & Venmo: @Zenv0
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Photo by my friend Mika
