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Life is a balancing act. While we have all the rights to be in freedom, peace, harmony and bliss; we do have a responsibility to ensure that others too enjoy their own freedom, peace, harmony and bliss.

Vishwas Chavan

#Vishwas Chavan #quotelr #quotes #literature #lit #bliss #freedom #harmony #life #life-philosophy #peace #responsibility #rights #rights-and-duties #self-responsibility #vishwasutras

There Comes a Time...

There Comes a Time…

There comes a time in life…when enough is enough! When it is time to make amends with yourself and see yourself for who you really are. It’s good to process anger, sadness, fear, etc., but lingering in self-pity and pointing the finger of blame on other people or on life in general due to uncontrollable circumstances has to end. Life has as many challenges as we allow. That’s right, “allow”.…

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#addiction #challenges #get over it #limitations #Move on #self-responsibility #Suffering

Right, after everything that went on yesterday after I promoted a fic I liked (and the author says everything they have to say about it here very eloquently) I should perhaps address one thing in particular.

Do I think it's funny when someone is triggered/upset by something they have read? No, I don't.

However, there were indications/warnings in place already as to the nature of the story. More than I would have ever thought to put, if I'm perfectly honest. And a lot of different things upset different people. Just because you find something upsetting doesn't mean it is universally upsetting. It doesn't mean everybody who is in some way like you will find it upsetting, too. A lot of the messages I received were along the lines of "This fic isn't safe for LGBT readers" and that is simply not the case. I'm an LGBT reader, the story is written by an LGBT author - and if you would like to come and argue how pan/bi "doesn't count" please just go ahead and block me and look up bi-erasure, thank you - and several known LGBT people in the fandom saw no issue with it at all. So, that statement is factually false.

Secondly, no, fiction is not safe for everyone. Fiction should not be required to be safe for everyone. Ao3 is not a safe space. My blog is not a safe space for everyone. It cannot be, because there are a multitude of opinions I hold which I'm sure might upset someone who thinks very differently. If someone were determined to never upset anyone else, they would have to never speak a word in public ever again.

For all of us, the responsibility to keep ourselves safe lies with the individual. Of course there are issues where we should listen and learn from others who have experiences that are different from ours, but personally, I don't believe that RPF bodyswap crack fic is anywhere near important enough to seriously discuss such issues over.

So what do I find tragically comic, if you will? That there are people who have no obligation to view my content, nor interact with me, nor read my works, nor listen to my opinions - complaining to me as though I am personally harming them. When they have every chance in the world to simply remove themselves from my presence at any time.

#fandom interaction #self-responsibility

If there is a negative element in our lives, it will be eradicated only if we locate it within ourselves. Evil is born the moment somebody else is to blame.

Stelios Ramfos

#evil #blame #self-responsibility #Christian #focus on the beam in your own eye #see our own sins #humility

Every champion was once a contender that refused to give up.

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Rocky Balboa 2006

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Graphic - Nazar Stefanovic

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Video:

HD - Rocky Balboa (2006) - inspirational speech

#graphic art #rocky #self-responsibility #success #champion

Learning how to love yourself more can f*cking hard. It's quite common to meet backlash and even resentment from others. What can you do? Find out ...

ok but like...necessary read

#self-responsibility #self love #LonerWolf

Attentive Parenting

I was asked to write about how I show my kids that they can come to me anytime. Since they were little I told them and tried to show them that they can come to me with everything and at any time. It's important to talk and react age-appropriately. Being on eye-level with them, touching them while they are talking (their hand or shoulder), taking them on my lap, if they want, not interrupting them and really, whatever it's about, being honestly interested and wanting to take part in their thought-world is very important, too. It doesn't matter, if it's understandable for me. What matters in this moment is only that the situation or the topic concerns my child, frightens them, makes them furious or happy... I then tried, if possible, being there for them instantly. If it wasn't possible, I asked them to stay with me and wait for a second. In an acute case I put aside everything else to listen to them and appreciate them with all their feelings. Tried to comfort them, give them a hug, laugh with them, ... whatever was needed just in this moment. Being aware of and appreciating a person's emotions doesn't mean accepting and endorsing everything. There lies a big difference. Accepting your counterpart's feelings means accepting them as a human being, with all their emotions and facets. And in my experience this is an important cornerstone in common development; that both parties, kids and parents, learn to endure those feelings. Feelings they're entitled to. By trying to talk them away, belittle them ("Oh, it's not that bad"), or compensate with candy ("You want a piece of chocolate, you're gonna be much better then"), watching TV or playing video games you can easily and quickly ensure silence but you convey to your kids that it's not okay for them to have their feelings. It's SO important that children learn to deal with emotion, enduring feelings and then being able to think clear again and feel the self-efficacy. That means, the kid perceives themselves as capable, they themselves have the possibility to find solutions. And the older they get the more they can grow and the stronger they become concerning their abilities to deal with conflict and find solutions. In a period of calm (at home) I tried to include self-responsibility in our conversations. Which becomes more and more important, the older the children get. We discuss a lot with our oldest kids and we're really open with each other. Our kids also know that they have to expect consequences when they really screw up or don't keep up their side of an arrangement. Because you contribute something to every situation in your life. It's important that they are able to recognize what's their part of responsibility, or which possibilities they have to better things for themselves, so maybe it will work better or differnt the next time, and so their anger and frustration doesn't have to be so bad anymore. Because underneath frustration and anger there are usually other feelings, like fear, humiliation, slight or hurt. I want to be completely honest: all of that is sometimes really incredibly hard. And it can happen that I don't react pedagogically valuable and lose it. Thank god they still come to me. I think until now it's been working because my children experience me as an honest but fallible person. When I'm close to myself again I resolve the situation with the concerned kid and also tell them honestly what was triggered in me. So my kids have seen through all those years together that I have issues, too, but I'm willing and determined to work on them. Sometimes it works better than other times. But in every case it pays off to "clean out" and work on my "backpack" piece by piece.