Hey could you write a love letter from Kaz Brekker's perspective, please? I feel like he finds it easier to express his feelings on paper and he might actually be a little poetic sometimes! Thanks sm 🖤
Dearest one,
To say this to your face, I believe I would stutter over the words and become frustrated with myself. To write it down, to put ink on paper, means I can keep my thoughts in order rather than get lost in the depths of your eyes, and the brightness of your smile.
I struggle to recall a time where I haven't been in love with you. There would have been a before; a time before we met, a time before a friendship and partnership bloomed, but for the life in me, I struggle to remember what life was like.
There was Jordie, there was darkness, and then... and then, there was you.
It all changed after that.
I could breathe easier; I could cope with more; I knew that I could take on the world so long as I had you by side.
Put simply: I love you.
I'm a broken man; a bastard, if you will, but I love you.
I love you with all that I am and all that I could be. Everything that I do - every action, every move on the chessboard of life, I do with you in mind.
I find myself struggling to breathe without you. I wouldn't admit it to another soul on this planet yet I could simultaneously scream it from the rooftops how much I crave your presence.
It doesn't make sense, but I suppose love doesn't. At least that's what all the romantic writers of the past seem to state. Since meeting you, since falling for you, your smile, your quick wit, and your kindness, I understand them all the more.
I could go on for days, my dear. I truly could, but you've entered my office and smiled at me. It seems I've lost my train of thought.
A/N: My New Year's gift to you and first attempt writing for the Grishaverse because I love it so much 🐦⬛🖤 and of course I had to write something for Kaz first, so let me know how you like it! I'd love to open requests for the Crows and this fandom soon and work on writing up some more fanfics for my Tumblr after a bit of a hiatus 🙂 and thanks so much for 2k followers!! This is for you all <3
Also I haven't seen a single fanfic for Kuwei??!?! which is a shocker since he's actually my favourite character lmao, might have to do something about that if anyone's interested in him 😎
Wordcount: 1.2k
Backstory: You have an indenture to Hoede and the Merchant Council - maybe you're a captured Grisha? - and Kaz decides to make you an offer.
If there was any justice in the world, Kaz Brekker would get what was coming to him.
He'd heard it many times before, spat at him in fury by outwitted merchants and marks, yelled out and pointed in his face by dirty workers who thought they could best Dirtyhands himself. And he'd give them his sharp, indifferent glance with eyes the shade of bitter coffee, and simply acknowledge their words in dry sardonic amusement, because they all knew how likely that was.
Nights in the Barrel like these, with the air spiked with damp and dirty pleasure, there was barely a difference from the dim, milky shine of the moon from the edges of a dagger. All faces were set in stone, guarded and weary and greedy, and the only boy to stand out subtly amongst them was the one who beat a steady, quick rhythm with a golden crow cane, tap tap tapping on the uneven grubby cobblestone as he marched down a dusky sidestreet.
He knew that the scheming gangs of Ketterdam led by anxious money-grabbing leaders and corrupt members of the Merchant Council would try to send someone out to keep tabs on him. It just so happened that it was you.
A new face to the dirty streets of the Barrel, admittedly a pretty one, who somehow looked completely out of place but blended in perfectly amongst the other innocent thrill-seeking tourists of the town, big eyes and a sweet smile, that made Kaz himself falter for a moment, his eyes lingering on you in a sceptical, bemused hint of interest.
"Here's your choices," were the boy's first words to you, eyes cool and barely blinking, one dark brow raised ever so slightly in keen, languid awareness.
He had led you straight to the Crow Club, a place teeming with pigeons looking for a quick win over cards - where you'd seen a tall young Zemini man with a cheeky grin and curious eyes open his mouth to chat you up, before Kaz had shot him a glare colder than ice - the faint metallic scent of kruge and alcohol in the air as he strode purposefully up to his office with you following behind in bemusement.
The noises of gamblers jeering and coins clattering and tinkering fell into a muffled hum when Kaz pushed the door to a close behind you, limping behind his desk and fixing you with that cold, unwavering look. He couldn't have been older than seventeen, with brown locks slicked back in one short swoop, a jutting chin and a watchful glare that gave nothing away. But at that moment, those eyes seemed to bore straight into yours, reading you inside out, analysing and directing you in unbridled, uncaring curiosity.
"I know you're working for Hoede. Don't give me that look. No one sold you out, if that's what you're worrying about. But I know."
You had blinked, blankly, gazing back at him in pure wonder and confusion, trying to get beyond that face of stoicism and detachment, one that could very well be a mask, if he hadn't worn it every second Dirtyhands gained his infamous reputation. He was simply what the city made him. He was Kaz Brekker.
"Know?" You'd repeated after a lingering moment of uncertainty, your eyes flitting his unchanging expression. "Hoede?"
Kaz had almost smiled then, a small amused flicker at the corner of his lips, a pull of a slight smirk that had given up before it'd started.
"I haven't figured that part out just yet," he continued dryly. "That pretty innocence. Big eyes, soft words and sweet smiles. Either you're incredibly naïve or an incredibly impressive actor. Still, I'll take the puzzle."
"The puzzle?"
"I love puzzles. Trickery is just my native tongue."
You'd blinked again, the blankness morphing to growing bewildered curiosity and slight doubtfulness. "Are you going to turn me in?"
"To who?" Kaz questioned in an unimpressed drawl, his brow raising further with a soft scoff. "The stadwatch?"
Maybe not.
"Kill me?" You tried again uneasily, your gaze intently following his movements and plain expression for any pointers or hints. You dared not to take a fleeting glance to any windows or possibly cracks to dart to and make a quick escape - this was Brekker's turf now, streets he knew like the back of his hand, and had a whole gang working for him in the palm of his hand to boot.
"An idea," he acknowledged plainly, not a flicker of unease written in his features as he mused aloud, nodding slightly to himself. "A neat one, at that. There are plenty of places a pretty young thing could go missing in these parts, and as new as you are, I doubt anyone would be eager to go tracking down your name with dogs and blazing torches."
You thought better to respond to his words, biting the inside of your lip gently and shifting where you stood by his desk uncomfortably instead.
"How much is your indenture?"
You'd hesitated for another long moment at his question, that same uncertainty rising up in your gut again. Kaz caught on before you'd even felt it, and shrugged with a light huff, sitting down behind his desk heavily.
"I'll pay it off," he stated bluntly, shark's eyes meeting yours again. "All of it. Every penny. Consider it my deposit."
The air left your lungs at his words in a hot rush of awe and confusion. I'll pay it off. Every penny. You could be free of the Merchant Council's tight grip, of being a possession of Councilman Hoede's, and go back home-
Deposit.
"Deposit for what?" You asked after the realisation of his words dawned on you, a small frown tugging at your brows in mild apprehension.
"I need a face like yours," Kaz responded easily, staring up at you in scrutinising interest, "a pretty, clean new face, to go cast the line for my marks, and reel them in. You're unsuspecting, you know that already. A sweet, pretty thing."
He'd said pretty three times now.
"Fahey will show you the ropes," he continued simply, his attention wandering now he knew he'd caught yours. "I'll make you a Crow yet. I can't think of a better investment. Can you?"
There were a million answers you may well have wanted to give him in argument, but you couldn't. You just couldn't. It was either a new chapter with these Crows and their Bastard of the Barrel, or skulking back to Hoede with your tail between his legs, and double the interest on your indenture once he'd known you'd failed in being his little lapdog, sniffing for clues about the dirtiest dealers in the dark corners of Ketterdam.
"There's a spare room just behind the ladder to the attic," Kaz answered for you in his rocksalt rasp, leaning back in his chair as he rested his golden cane to stand against his desk, the little crow's beak pointing down at the sleek hardwood surface. "Don't bother getting any things you had before at whatever lodgings Hoede directed you to, you won't be going back. You'll get new gear, maybe a new name. Just don't change that face. Or that mind. I'll need it for what comes next."
"And what comes next?" you found your voice after processing his instructions, your former trepidation subsiding and softening into a newfound wonder.
A mirror of his earlier smirk returned to tug at his thin lips, dark eyes peering back up at you, studying relaxed into contented observing.
What truly drives me up the wall is people calling Darkling manipulative. Like, toxic, abusive, violent, evil – fine. But manipulative? Girl, where😭? I wish he was. But he couldn’t even manipulate 1 (one) dumb teenage girl!
The fandom really overstates how much manipulation he actually engages in. Not only that, they also overstate how successful he was when it came to manipulating Alina. It took her exactly five minutes to turn on him when Baghra revealed his true identity to her (without much evidence mind you).
I just think that if the Darkling’s manipulation was as powerful as people say, then he would at least be able to influence a naive and insecure young woman who has no familial support system. We’re told that he’s a master manipulator, but we’re shown that he’s making decisions that don’t completely align with the goal of grooming Alina. For example, letting Baghra teach Alina is a huge risk because not only does she spend more time with Alina, she also openly disagrees with his strategies and is the only person who knows about his true identity. If he was the great manipulator people say he is, wouldn’t he just train Alina himself? So he could keep her close and control what information she absorbs?
Honestly, I think “abusive” is a bit more of a stretch than “manipulator” considering that Alina and the Darkling never enter a relationship. Evidence for his supposed abuse of Alina is either typical enemy behavior or his lies of omission from the first book.
Bonus poll: Since Aleksander Morozava, also known as the Darkling or General Kirigan, was determined to be a member of House Targaryen (or at least, that’s the Great House he’d be most affiliated with), if he was around during the Dance of the Dragons, which side would he support?
Instructions: post the first line of the last ten things you posted and tag ten (or however many) more people to play. Forgive me, I write very short sentences, so I included the first two or three lines for a bit more context.
"Matthias had been doing a lot of remembering. As much as he could, given what little memory he has." (from Chapter 9 of "God I Want To Feel Again")
"Here are the facts: you borrowed our neighbor’s wagon because you claim he told you it was alright. Now Mom’s claiming he couldn’t have said so, because he died of old folk’s sickness a couple days prior. Both you and mom are convinced each other is wrong. Hmm…. maybe the old man was a ghost?” (from Chapter 4 of "The Spirit of Grief")
"They had reserved a room in the back, towards the fire escape. It was small, probably only a few spaces more than the three of them standing arm to arm in a row." (from Chapter 2 of "The Emotional Hierarchy of Trust: An Excuse to Buy Lingerie")
"The restaurant was… not what she was expecting. Granted, she trusted that Dolinde was honest in her assertion that she was supposed to guide Alina at Kaz Brekker’s request." (from Chapter 2 of "Letters to the Saint of Bad Luck")
"Nina Zenik knew she was a fantastic spy, but even she was a tad fed up at this point." (From Chapter 3 of "Lace Revenge")
And that's about it in terms of ongoing fics - the rest of what I've been posting are either already complete previous works in the respective series listed above, or they haven't actually been posted yet :3
I'll tag @butterflypython , @dreamtigress , and @she-posts-nerdy-stuff
