#shitty cryptid

[inkbloodpages]

Hear me out:

Bluegrass siren who lives in lakes and rivers and lures redneck fisherman to watery graves. He does occasionally get caught by fly fishermen, but he could outfish anyone.

[subvertliterallyeverything]

A race of imposter aliens that are functionally identical to humans except that they have blue blood.

to make up for this obvious difference in color their skin is very slightly *whatever-the-opposite-of-blue-is-in-this-context* so the colors still match

in order to tell them apart you have to make them blush or exhaust them so their face flushes and they turn blue or *opposite-of-blue* respectively.

There’s nothing wrong with them they just have cool blue blood and are cool

[matineemonsters]

I saw the frog purse in the wild

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Omg my mom and I were playing this would you rather game and one of the questions was “would you rather bring back an extinct species of make a mystical one real?”

My mom says‘mystical creature’

I asked her which one.

She said. “A kangaroo.”

And I was like “??? But that is a real animal”

“No but mine will be mystical.”

So I ask her what powers it will have.

She looks me dead in the eye and says, “it can shoot baby kangaroos out of its pouch.”

And that is how my mom invented the worst cryptid.

[tatsuyam]

i turned this in for an art class assignment

[baja-blasph3my]

I stared into the void and it showed me this

[cotton-pikkin]

shitty cryptids

• a person with far too many joints in their arms and also one of the pairs of joints has wings attached

• ferret, but longer

• crab with a human face and human hands and feet

• a tall person with two guns taped to their hands. that’s it. not really a cryptid at all, just a person with guns taped to their hands

• nosepass(the pokémon) but with many, many eyes

• fuzzy rock with spider legs

• cow that looks black but when u zoom in u can tell it’s actually just really close together spots

• frog but just a mouth with legs

• a person but with a very large forehead. like, very large

• just a very big knot of hair that might have feet but we can’t be sure. all we know is it’s moving around the house somehow. it’s not even windy

• a thirty pound block of cheese wearing cheetah print glasses

• kool-aid man

• an abstract thought

• it’s just a cow,,,,,,,,,,, with a headache,,,,,,,

• a street sign walking toward u ominously

• concked creete

• stag beetle with human ears. like not attached, it’s just carrying some human ears around. also the ears are still bloody

• laminated paper going fwubbahfwubbahfwubbah as it walks

• the sun from the teletubbies show

• all of the teletubbies, but specifically tinky winky

• a detached arm that walks on its fingers

• art of a hand by an artist who doesn’t know how to draw hands

• donosair

• shirt but with eyes. also it needs corrective lenses

• microwaved butterfly

• fingers and toes running away from you rapidly

[willow-the-wicced-witch]

I keep sinning, but no one has the power to stop me