#shitty wizards

[corseque]

I wanted to collect all my posts about the Magic: the Gathering card that's coming out for Emet-Selch here on Tumblr for posterity

The card is written in such a lore-consistent way that it contains what I would consider to be spoilers for the story, so don't read the card until you've played the game FFXIV if you plan to play the game if you want to remain completely unspoiled.

[pocketseizure]

Something I appreciate about Ganondorf in Age of Imprisonment is that he is, more than anything, a wizard. Ganondorf can fight, and skillfully so, but he's uninterested in participating in battle. What we see him doing instead is experimenting with magic. He hates Rauru for restricting access to magical Zonai technologies, and he becomes a Demon King who rules the magical beings summoned by the Blood Moon. In a culture that equates virtue with martial valor, Ganondorf's fascination with magic is positioned as evil, and he behaves accordingly. Still, it's compelling to watch as he tests the rules and limits of his world.

[runespoor7]

WWX really woke up from being dead complaining that JC hated him and had an awful temper and was always so difficult, and proceeded to travel all throughout the duration of the book with a donkey he didn't buy that he complained had an awful temper and was so difficult, and I'm supposed not to crack up when he says that he's never going to talk to JC again?

[rynling]

Celebrating the end of the semester at the Academy of Raya Lucaria

[hallowgracie]

The witches are the largest population in Vertumnus. Most do not bear the obvious signs of an ethereal nature the way that the elves, the werewolves, or the other, rarer races do. That is, except for some of the more elite magical bloodlines, like the Danaan, Anouir, and Beltane lineages. Some are more gifted with magic than others, much like how some humans in our world hold more talent for writing or music or math or sports than others. 

Overseen by the Covenant, the witches are strong believers in democracy. They vote for their representatives within the Covenant and its presiding officer, the Enchanter. Most recently, the Enchanter and Covenant has been arguing over what to do about the fallout of the Mage Wars. 

Some wish to follow the elves in their efforts to find new realms among the stars to make a new home. Others want to dig their heels in and save their current home. Yet there is much debate over how—or if—this can be done. Perhaps it is no surprise that the Covenant is facing more threats from dark witches and evil covens that recruit with a message of facing—and even hastening—the impending apocalypse. 

Still others look to ancient prophecies for a chance of saving the world with little care for what price might be paid for it. What is one life, after all, in the face of all life?

Luna Frey disagrees.

[ravenkween]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Critical Role (Web Series) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Astrid/Eodwulf/Bren Aldric Ermendrud, Astrid/Caleb Widogast, Astrid/Bren Aldric Ermendrud Characters: Astrid (Critical Role), Caleb Widogast, Bren Aldric Ermendrud, Trent Ikithon Additional Tags: Warning: Trent Ikithon, Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, the Blumenkrew, the Blumenthal Drei, The Blumentrio, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Mind Control, Implied/Referenced Abuse, murder in the name of the Empire, Just Vollstrucker Things, Vollstruckers, Scourgers Summary:

Her first year at the Soltryce Academy, Astrid hates Bren Aldric Ermendrud. Everything comes easily to him. Nothing comes easily to Astrid.

[betterbemeta]

This is just to say every time I think "different wizness for different bizness" I lose it all over again

I’m glad my D-list puns still land with my true friends. But it’s true! There are so many different kinds of wizards, that if one says “I like wizards” they could be talking about

your wild Odin, of whom Gandalf is one of the most famous tamed specimens. However, as this wizard tends to be fairly plain, more flashy varieties have been derived from the mainstay:

Such as The Fantasian/’Pulp Fantasy’ Wizard. However, it is wise to beware as attempts to preserve certain traits from The Odin have not always been very stable,

Resulting in the Feral Wizard, known for its chaotic, inexplicable behaviors– unfortunately demonstrating traits best suited for a free-roaming wild wizard but possessing a less rough facade, inadvertently confusing bystanders about if the wizard is acclimated to human society.

Other attempts to further domesticate The Odin have gone quite smoothly, however,

the common Merlin being one such success. Merlins are often mistaken for,

the Fancy Wizard, a novelty show breed, with silky beards and shimmering celestial robes. However, their bright markings can sometimes be mistaken for threat markings,

which are common to The Sorcerer, such as Yen Sid– which are much more aggressive and reclusive. In no way should a Sorcerer be kept without also keeping at least one sociable apprentice, or else they will grow hostile lacking a reliable way to communicate with the outside world. 

Still, they are not as high-maintenance as,

the Warlock (art by forrestimel), which requires a vast territory. In order to defend this territory, the Warlock, has a propensity to also be a necromancer (though few would consider ‘necromancer’ a variety of wizard in its own right– it is merely a behavior), conjure demons, or enthrall monsters/human settlements/ other more docile wizards to do their bidding. Incidentally,

Ganondorf is also a well-known warlock specimen, demonstrating that despite its demanding enrichment and territory needs, the high-performance Warlock variety is extremely adaptable and flexible, and capable of achieving great physical as well as magical strength.

Despite all that though, there is still more diversity to be found. Such as,

the Elf-Wizard, which should be noted also has special needs intersecting with the high elven/wood elven/dark elven/moon+sun elven/other elven variation. The appearance of these wizards can be quite unique and distinctive:

The appeal of Elf-Wizards is well-known; in contrast to their their charming bearded, rougher-seeming fellows they have a certain graceful and even unearthly charisma. That charisma is such a desirable trait that it has been introduced into other varieties of Wizard, such as The Merlin, creating,

Howl, a beardless cult favorite. Understandable.

Also, we don’t just need to consider the variety of wizards, but also social vs asocial wizards. Many wizards, as you have noticed, are solitary. But any wizard can be social, even social to a maddeningly complex degree with a propensity to organize into both secret and overt orders. Let us consider the case study of Vanus Galerion:

He organized the Mages’ Guild in his superhabitat when he left the much more reclusive Psijic Order, as it provided no support for wizards and other magi outside of its seclusion– and no unity to organize against his rival, Mannimarco, who was also banished from the Psijics. Social wizards tend to have both rivals and colleagues, which is a useful strategy as any rogue wizard that gains sufficient power could devastate their peers, and turn non-wizard bystanders against their welfare in general.

Social wizardry tends to be academic in aesthetic, which can sometimes alienate more primal wizards and prioritize homogeneity which can offend more independent wizards. The most well-known instance of social wizardry is, of course, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry:

The vast environment required to provide sufficient space, enrichment, resources, and safety for so many wizards at once, however, can lead to collapse of their habitat. This is unfortunately is ongoing within J.K. Rowling’s Wizarding World, with the rise of Pottermore and the negligence of the sanctuary’s caretaker.

Aside from all of these topics, we could then begin to get into arguments over if druids, bards, descendants of magical creatures, Chinese Wu, Jedi, truly count as ‘varieties of wizards’, or as their own wizard-adjacent entities with parallel magical abilities. And we could discuss the Dungeons and Dragons-related taxonomy that delineates wizards vs sorcerers on basis of academic vs hereditary magics. We could even discuss the categorization of wizards into a Hatted/Hooded/Bareheaded tri-scheme, or explore the Beard/No Beard dichotomy.

But for the time being, that is none of our wiz’ness.

[nobodysuspectsthebutterfly]

so I was playing a casual game and not actually watching an ad to get free lives (as one does), an ad for “Smurfs Bubble Story” or some kind of game like that, and the voiceover lady said “Embrace the Evil Wizard Gargamel to win prizes” and I was like... what? Does @corseque know about this? And then I realized, no, the voiceover actually said “and race the Evil Wizard Gargamel” and it wasn’t that kind of story.