Another normal day in public sector paradise
subtitle: I'm not a person, I'm a policy document with unresolved trust issues
08:02 – Log in. Email inbox greets me like an ex. 37 new messages. One contains an empty Word doc, another is 14 pages of bold red Comic Sans, and a third is just the phrase “please advise” with no context.
09:17 – Try to explain to someone that "vibes" are not legally binding. They say "but still..." and walk off. I'm left alone with my thoughts and a half-finished cup of revenge-coffee.
10:04 – Read a document that makes me question if time is real. It’s scanned, rotated 90°, contains a grainy photo of a dog, and ends with "I trust this is enough." It is not.
10:47 – My coordinator appears, as always, unannounced and deeply convinced I can read minds. She asks why I didn’t act on an instruction she never gave me. Cool cool cool.
11:26 – Colleague hallway check-in. Topics discussed:
If the printer is actually cursed
Whether passive-aggressive Post-its can be considered a second language
Which coffee stains are legally protected under archival law
12:00 – Forget to eat. Again. My body is fueled entirely by stress and the whispered promise of early retirement.
13:33 – Get a call from someone who wants… something? I don’t know. They talk for five minutes and I end the call with three follow-up actions, zero understanding, and mild spiritual damage.
14:15 – Realize I’ve been narrating my work like a nature documentary for ten straight minutes. No one noticed. Or cared.
15:45 – Write something official that must not contain the words “I”, “think”, “believe”, “in my opinion”, or “please kill me”. It ends up sounding like a haunted IKEA instruction manual.
16:59 – Leave work feeling like an email attachment that never loaded properly.
