Jan 10, 2022
“Imagine they think we don’t know.”
“Imagine they think you didn’t start it.”
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“Imagine they think we don’t know.”
“Imagine they think you didn’t start it.”
Fave part of the day… Befriending the aggressive chihuahua with snacks! 🤗 I do not own rights to the music. 🎶 credit to #LMFAO #liljon 🎶 #chihuahua #pillpockets #shotsshotsshots #snapchat #tiktok https://www.instagram.com/p/CfPp864uZnHNkM3o4KNNvSwa7GNQzoKdfgvhCk0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
𝐴𝑢𝑡𝑢𝑚𝑛 𝑓𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑠 🍁🍂 #autumn #colorful #italia #shotsshotsshots #trees https://www.instagram.com/p/CarpbDVLImD/?utm_medium=tumblr
Blue Kamikaze 💙
Not sure if I need a shot or need to be shot
This is what happened the night before the wedding I didn't know we were gonna have:
"Well...I mean, she's a wreck."
My mother tells Eli's mama this, at the dinner table, like it's a perfectly reasonable thing to say about your daughter...your daughter who raised your son for you, beat cancer, overcame addiction, and is so good in her chosen field that her boss CRIED when she left their store. That daughter. A wreck.
Mama did something I'd never seen her do. Something Eli tells me later is reserved for when she hears something she just can't abide...she crosses her arms, gangster leans in her chair, and says "it's bullshit".
Next to her, on either side, Karina and Gabby have both leaned forward, with Karina pointing a long, coffin shaped acrylic nail in my mother's direction. I fear she may pinch her.
"Excuse me?"
Mama rests her arm on the back of the chair, and honestly looks baller as fuck and kind of scary.
"I said...it's bullshit. What you say." She looks at Candy. "Sorry to say this to your wife in front of you. You're very nice lady."
Candy nods politely, but doesn't intervene on my mother's behalf.
"She's an addict."
I have no idea what started this but I know she'll go hard now that she's cornered.
"She's a sponsor. They trust her so much with someone else staying sober. So? What else is bad about MY baby?"
My mother doesn't want me to be her daughter, this has been clear for most of my life. But apparently she doesn't want me to be someone else's daughter either. She's trying to talk Mama out of loving me.
"I don't mind them being together but engaged? Come on." She turns to Eli. "Do you really want to get divorced again?"
Oof. Wow.
"No, but I do want to be in love with my wife this time. So, I'm all set." He nudges me until I rest my head on his shoulder. "Some babies might be nice but we'll see."
"Babies? Guys..." my mother appeals to us both like we're still friends. "She doesn't even have custody of Red." (This is not at all the truth, but what does she care about the truth at this point?)
My brother has been boiling in his seat during this. It started with just giving me sympathetic glances and occasionally opening and closing his mouth...but the more she's said, the angrier he's gotten. And he snaps.
"You handed her a baby when she was 12. SHE has never abandoned me. Red's never been hungry or wanted for anything a day in his life. With me she tried the best a CHILD can. You make no sense. Why can't you just let her fucking LIVE?."
She says she doesn't have to put up with our attacks. She gets up and leaves, and Candy follows, handing my niece to Eli. Despite being only 10 years older than Eli and both of us being firmly in the realm of adult hood she mouths to us that we're good kids. My niece also rests her head on Eli's shoulder...they're besties. He sees her little chin wobbling and tells her he's sorry she had to hear such not nice things. My brother stands up and watches them for a moment, and then asks Eli if they can talk outside. My niece gets handed back to her mom, and Gabby asks her if she cares if we drink in front of the baby.
"Normally yes, but...I think it's okay, considering."
Gabby gets ready to line up shots, and I thank my lucky stars that Red was with his dad for this. Mama moves into Eli's empty chair and taps the table in front of her twice. "I need a double after that," she elbows me. "No baby right now?"
"No, sorry. Not yet."
"Then we drink, okay?"
"Okay."
Karina also gets up, stands behind me, and loops her arms around my shoulders, squeezing. "If I said you were a bitch differently, more fun than her, would you be mad?"
I have to laugh. Fucking Karina. Only she could say such a thing and have it be this comforting.
"You think I'm fun?"
"Yes...well, we have a different idea of fun but you tried. I love you for that."
Gabby is talking to my niece. "20 years and I buy you a shot, okay princess girl?"
Eli and my brother return after about ten minutes, with solemn looks on their faces. I ask them what's going on and my brother says it's man shit, don't worry about it. Eli beats his chest and laughs.
The baby is falling asleep, so my brother and his wife pack her bag to leave. On his way out the door he shakes Eli's hand and pulls me into a hug.
"You did good. All the bullshit...I never blamed you. You did good, okay?"
I thank him, and somehow manage to not cry until after he leaves.
Bizare Shots
The Imagery