#sick note journal

[nicistrying]

Thurs 30th April

Took Nanna Mary to the tulip field this morning. My sis in law was supposed to come with the babies but they didn't sleep all night so just me and Nanna. We had a lovely time!

Had a cup of tea and shared some cake after. I'm so so grateful to be able to spend time with her, I nearly cried looking at these photos when I got home 🥹

Did some grocery shopping on my way back, had lunch with Matt in the garden and whipped up a batch of bolognese to use up the veggies leftover from the bbq at the weekend. It turned out pretty delicious 😍

Worked out - arm day today, and I made a really conscious effort to go slow and heavy and it was HARD

Forgot to take a pic immediately after so took it on my way out for our walk. Sat in the garden and read for a while when we got home, had the bolognese for dinner and Matt is going to his friend's place for a games night so I am running a bubble bath and doing absolutely nothing for the rest of the night 😌

April was another great month for consistency! I may have struggled in a lot of ways but I have kept myself active

[nicistrying]

Weds 15th April

Walked with Matt & Maggie and got the call to say I got the job while we were out. I'm so relieved 😭

Had therapy and that was good, she reminded me I need to really focus on looking after myself over the next few weeks while I'm still off work rather than pushing myself to do more and more stuff and leaving no time for what I actually enjoy. My stomach is still pretty upset so trying to keep my meals light - quinoa salad for lunch

And planning to have homemade carrot & lentil soup with carrots from the garden!

Went into town to scan my passport for the new job. The lady I spoke to said they're hoping for us to start in around 6 weeks, which would be fucking beautiful 😭

Was feeling super anxious when I got home, not really sure why just lots of 'what ifs' about the recruitment process bc I didn't tell them I'm currently off work sick and I just realised now that one of my references no longer applies bc she must have left the company, I just tried to email her to let her know they'd be in touch and it bounced back to me 🫠

Worked out to try to get rid of the shitty feelings. Spoiler alert, it worked

I thought my arms were looking good and tried to get some half decent photos and this is what I got 😂😂 my belly is so unhappy. I feel like I'm really rapidly gaining fat but I literally weigh the same as I always have and I've been keeping up my workouts. Idk if it's just a stress response bc of how I've been feeling or what but trying not to beat myself up about it. Time for a bath bc this workout kicked my ass and I am sweaty af

[nicistrying]

Sunday 7th June

Slept in bc I was out with my sister last night seeing Eats Everything

We had SUCH a great night apart from creepy old men. Obviously 🙄 One guy kept staring at us and we tried to ignore him but when he eventually came over and tried to put his arm around me reaching towards our drinks on the bar my sis swiped the drinks and just glared at him and told him to fuck off and I've honestly never been more proud 😂 another guy came up asking if we wanted a photo and I said we already got one and he went 'I've been watching you you're such a good little dancer you're like a little pocket rocket' i was just like okay bye 🤮🤮

But anyway the music was great, we didn't get too drunk, we had fun. Even despite me being very much on my period 🥲 it was a great workout too 💃🏼

Had a little lie in this morning, cuddled with Mags until I was ready to get up

We all went for a walk, then me and my sis sat and watched Off Campus and ate my leftover pizza from dinner last night. Went to visit Nanna Ann, dropped my sis home and then went to Matt's parents' for dinner 🫩 it was what it was. They made shitty comments all night as expected, I just sat quietly so I couldn't say anything wrong, just ate my food, had a cup of tea and then announced we were leaving. Prepped my lunches for tomorrow & Tuesday and had a bath, packed my bag and got my outfit out ready. First day of work here I come 😬😬

[nicistrying]

Friday 27th March

Felt shit this morning, not necessarily down but just numb and tired. Went out for the walk with Matt and Maggie, it was nice and sunny

Came home and lay reading for a while which I'm calling a win bc it broke up my scrolling. Eventually put a podcast on and did a little bit of cleaning bc the house is pissing me off. Only the living room left to dust down now. Then I think I'll do leg day bc I've spent so much time sitting on my ass.

Matt is making white wine pasta for dinner. I am going to have a gin & tonic as a treat. I got an interview for what is basicslly my job but it's closer to home and pays better. So I think if I'm offered that I should take it bc at least I would have different managers and a shorter commute and hopefully the change would pick me up enough to be able to look for something better. I hope. But I really don't think I can stay where I am.

Everything is not objectively terrible, I've just been seeing everything in a terrible light bc I've felt shit. I am doing what I can and some days that is literally just surviving to bedtime and that's okay. I suppose 🙄

[nicistrying]

Sunday 12th April

Matt woke me up at 6.30am on a Sunday 2 days before my period to ask me to walk Maggie bc he had work to do 🫠 I was not pleased but it was a beautiful morning for an early walk and that cheered me up.

Met brother & sister in law and the twins and their dogs at Alnwick Garden to see the cherry orchard in bloom. It was soooooo beautiful 😍😍

Came home and played with Maggie in the garden for a while, really didn't want to walk her again by myself bc she was so ignorant on the walk this morning and my mood was fragile. So we just played frisbee until she was tired. Matt went to work for the evening, Mags and I stayed home, she was sooo anxious bc someone is working in their garden hammering something so I went upstairs to work out hoping she'd follow and lie down away from the noise. It did work for a while

Had a bath, washed my hair, had our dinners and I'm now curled up on the couch, bloated and puffy and feeling a bit gross, watching tv. And Maggie is still on high alert. She keeps going to her buttons saying 'all done' wanting the noise to stop 😭 My poor anxious girl 🥲

I have a bit of a bad stomach so really hoping that clears itself up. Haven't felt good today but I was blaming that on my period so fingers crossed that's all it is and I'm not getting ill.

[nicistrying]

Monday 25th May

It is hottttt today so we went to the beach early for Maggie's walk. And it was still busy 🫠 but we had a nice time and we all got ice creams 😋

I went to keep brother & sister in law's dogs company for the afternoon while they were out, and just did a load of chores at their house keeping the dogs cool inside. Came home, got my bikini on and lay down to sunbathe and Matt's mam asked if she and his brother could come over 🫩 so I got covered back up and poured a gin 😬 they were fine tbf, his dad wasn't there so his mam was much less on edge and I can have an actual conversation with her. Thankfully they were only here an hour then left to go make his dinner bc he's a shitty man baby who can't feed himself.

Stripped back off and poured another gin to celebrate 😂

Lay out in the garden until we got hungry enough for dinner (leftover chinese food 🤌). It's been a beautiful weekend ☀️🌊

[nicistrying]

Sunday 24th May

Walked Mags early while Matt was at work

Went to visit Nanna Ann and my sister just briefly to drop off her bday presents, and had the most gorgeous drive home in the sun with my music blasting 😌

Smothered myself in sun cream, had salad in the garden with Matt for lunch then sunbathed allll afternoon. It was gorgeous 😍

Got too hot around 4pm so came inside and did just a little workout

We got Chinese food for dinner and started watching How to Get to Heaven from Belfast. Going to the beach tomorrow ☀️🌊

[nicistrying]

Weds 20th May

Couldn't sleep last night so was awake from 3.30am 🫩

Didn't feel too shabby though and had a nice walk with Matt & Maggie. Went home and had breakfast and did some yoga

Washed my hair and got myself ready for the photoshoot. I was sooo nervous but they gave me non alcoholic bubbly when I got there and were soooo lovely. The MUA was such a great hype woman and the photographer was hilarious. And I'm obsessed with the photos. The editor was so sweet and printed me the 3 I said I wanted to frame and I ordered a lil album for Matt too. Now I just have to keep them hidden until our anniversary lol. A moment for the makeup 😍 I had to take off the lipstick and eyeshadow bc otherwise Matt would know I did not do it myself lol but I felt so cuuuuute

Met my bestie for dinner and shopping. Got home exhausted, praying for a good sleep tonight 😭