#sidney finch

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Byrd: When are you gonna shave your head? Sidney: I don't know, soon… Byrd: Don't you want to do it? Alton: Grandma won't admit how much her hair means to her. Byrd: Awh, but it'll grow back-.. and you'll still look pretty! Sidney: [snorts] Aren't you a charmer?

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[clippers buzzing] Sidney: Your father's going to kill me… Byrd: It'll grow back.. right? Sidney: Obviously. Byrd: What about yours? Sidney: We’ll see. Byrd: We’ll get you a cool wig if it doesn’t.

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[It wasn’t often that Oscar stopped in his tracks, lost for words-.. but the sight of a bald Byrd just about did it] Oscar: What the-… Byrd: WE SHAVED OUR HEADS! Oscar: I can see that. Byrd: Do you like it? Oscar: [laughs] Do you? Byrd: Uhmm.. I think I’m still deciding.

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[clock ticking] Oscar: Have you eaten? I’ll make anything you want. Sidney: I’m not hungry. Oscar: Anything. Sidney: Fucking-.. soufflé. Oscar: You think I can’t make that? [Sidney scoffed irritably; she looked so strange without her mop of unruly hair, but Oscar daren't joke about it yet] Sidney: Why’re you doing this? You don’t want to be here-.. you don’t want to look after me. Oscar: Well, I doubt you wanted to wipe my shitty arse when I was a baby but you still did. Sidney: Hm. Oscar: Do you actually want a soufflé? Sidney: Kind of. Oscar: Alright.

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Alton: What’d I tell you? Sidney: Alright, Ally.. no one likes a know it all. Alton: Liar. [Sidney scoffed, though she didn’t protest when Alton jovially dragged her to her feet] Sidney: Do you remember when we were kids? You promised me we’d never get old and frail… Alton: Hmm, that doesn’t sound like something I’d say. Sidney: [snorts] Liar. Alton: ‘Least we’re doing it together, love.

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Sidney: Christ-.. if I can face chemo, you can have the tiniest procedure ever. Oscar: Okay, it’s not a competition. Sidney: Well, there’s always y’know-.. abortion. Courtney: Uhm… Sidney: I had one once, it’s not a big dea-… Oscar: Excuse me, when?! Sidney: Oh, ages ago! Before Noa-… Oscar: Was it me-.. did it fail? ‘Cause that’d explain a lot. [Wren snorted, trying her best not to giggle] Oscar: What’re you laughing at? Wren: You, being an abortion. Courtney: Geez-.. how do you know what that means?! Wren: I looked it up. Sidney: Good lord, why is she looking this sort of stuff up? Wren: ‘Cause this boy at school said I looked like one! Oscar: Wha-… Wren: Don’t worry, I kicked him in the privates the day after-.. I was all like, hey Carl! Then, WOOPAH! [Wren kicked the air viciously in a gleeful reenactment] Courtney: So that’s why you kicked him. Oscar: Nice-.. but also, don’t do that again. [Sidney sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose; it was like Oscar had cloned himself] Oscar: Shut up and eat your fancy salad. Sidney: I didn’t say a word. Wren: Your face said it for you-.. right, dad? Oscar: That does sound like something I’d say. Sidney: Give me-.. Wren: Strength?! Take some of mine-.. HUPAH!

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Sidney: There he is-.. I could’ve died whilst you were out there chain smoking, y’know. Alton: Sid… Sidney: I’m kidding! Christ, I’m fine. Oscar: Are you? Sidney: [scoffs] I’ll probably be fine. Oscar: Probably? Alton: Don’t sit there and lie to him. Sidney: Fine, fine-.. I might have cancer. Alton: You do have cancer. Sidney: But it’s early-ish, so it’ll be fine! Honestly, he shouldn’t have called either of you-.. waste of time. Alton: They made it sound like an emergency, I panicked! Sidney: You panic when you can’t find the remote. Oscar: How could you not tell? Sidney: It’s not like I was an oncologist. Alton: And you wonder where your “I’m going to ignore this until it goes away except it won’t” gene comes from. Sidney: If you don’t wipe that look off your face, I’ll strangle you with a stray catheter. You’re practically made of sugar; you barely do any exercise since high school and I’m the one who ends up getting cancer?! What horseshit. Alton: It probably helps that I don’t have breasts. Sidney: You fucking do. [Alton snickered, slouching exaggeratedly as he threw his hands behind his head] Alton: Well.. if you took a leaf out of my book and kicked your feet up now n’ then, maybe we wouldn’t be here. Sidney: Hit him for me. Oscar: He’s got a point. Sidney: Don’t start-.. that’s not how it works. Oscar: So, what now? Sidney: Go home-.. and maybe apologise to your wife for ignoring her calls. Alton: Noah told her everything, don’t worry. Oscar: Shit, I left my phone in the car. Sidney: Ohh, because you panicked and wound up with tunnel vision-.. I wonder who that comes from? Oscar: I got the worst of you combined, huh? Alton: Sorry, son. [Oscar tried his best to produce an upbeat chuckle, but all he could muster was a pathetic snort devoid of mirth] Sidney: Go on, I’m not going anywhere yet…

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Sidney: What were you thinking? Robin: It wasn’t my fault. Sidney: Debateable. You shouldn’t take them with you if you’re not going to keep an eye on them. Robin: I don’t have a million eyes! Oscar: Ma. Sidney: Well. Oscar: You’re looking at this all wrong, anyway-.. Byrd, what’re we not gonna do in future? Byrd: Uhhhhh-.. handstands on wobbly fences? Courtney: Robin? Robin: Let Byrd climb on shitty fences. Oscar: See? Sidney: [mutters] Give me strength. Wren: What do you need strength for? Sidney: Your father’s unquenchable thirst for chaos. Oscar: You need to relax every now n’ then, you might actually enjoy yourself for once. Sidney: Bah, you sound like Ally. Alton: Hm-.. what? Sidney: Nothing-.. where’s the salad? Oscar: What’s done is done-.. let’s just agree to steer clear of the hospital for a while, okay guys? I’m sick of the place. Robin: Maybe we could get a member’s card. Ava: I want to go! Oscar: Noooo, you don’t. Ava: How do you know what I want?! Sidney: Ask Robin to watch you for a day, you’ll be there in no time. Oscar: Ignore your grandma-.. she’s just an expert at putting the salt in Salton. Alton: I still don’t understand that joke…

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[crickets chirping – muffled music] Oscar: And you definitely don’t want to go home? [Levi shook his head and rubbed at his eyes, feeling far more vulnerable than he was comfortable with] Robin: His parents aren’t home and I think they’d be kinda like, uh-.. not nice about it, y’know? Levi: My s-sister was gonna babysit me after her curfew at t-ten. Oscar: Okay, well.. how ‘bout we get you checked out first, then you can wait at ours? We can drop you off later like nothing happened, how’s that for a plan-.. Robin? [The knot in Robin’s stomach eased as Levi nodded along with him, swiping at his runny nose with a sodden sleeve] Oscar: Alrighty, let’s go. [Levi stiffened briefly as Oscar easily scooped him up and slung him against his shoulder] Oscar: You okay? [Robin nodded with a faint smile as Oscar ruffled his damp hair] Oscar: You did good, bud. [Robin’s classmate couldn’t help but relax as he clung to Oscar and the warmth that emanated from him, both tangible and not. He might’ve looked scary to begin with but he’d shown Levi more sympathy and compassion in the last five minutes than he’d received from his own family in the last few years] … Oscar: Aren’t you supposed to be retired? Sidney: Aren’t you lucky I’m not! Oscar: Oh, for sure.. heaven forbid another doctor do the exact same job as you. [Sidney scoffed incredulously] Oscar: Really though… Sidney: I’m not bloody well dead yet! I just cover a few casual shifts here n’ there is all. Oscar: Hm-.. better get this guy home n’ properly dry, anyway. Sidney: Yeah, he’ll be alright-.. y’know he’s just as reckless as you, right? Robin: Uh, I’m still here. Oscar: I hear ya! Sid unfortunately has a point though, you shouldn’t-… Robin: Don’t try n’ save someone in oceans or rivers ‘cause the current will get you both, blah blah-.. pools don’t count! Sidney: He’s a smartass like you too.

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Previous | Ne-.. what, no next?!

jkjk.. NEXT!

Well.. that's a wrap folks! I can't believe it's almost been two whole years of Somnium! Thank you so much to anyone who's read along and gotten as attached to my guys as much as I have. I had no idea where I was going or what I was getting into when I started this, and what a beast it turned into!! Over 790 scenes 😱 I've had more fun than I could've imagined and although this is the end of Somnium, it's not the end of Oscar n' co. and certainly not the end of my storytelling ventures! But I'll ramble about my future plans in another post I think... Big kisses and hugs to you all on this momentous occasion ahaaakjsdkjd! 🤗🧡

Also! plz enjoy this silliness I faffed around with just for funsies...