The silmarillion told in the style of the hobbit, part 2. For those of you who missed part 1, check my pinned post
But Eru was not done yet with creating the world yet - no he was far from it. Like all true parents, Eru had favorites, and Eru’s favorites were the children of Iluvatar. Like all of Eru’s best ideas - it had come to him halfway through Melkor’s awful song.
“Now Eru, you can see that you’ve done a halfway decent job with this bunch (save Melkor perhaps) but there can’t be more than 20 of them, and I mean you’ve done such a good job of creating the whole universe, surely these Ainur are all going to get bored quickly?” The intrusive thoughts in Eru’s head whispered - although they were partly drowned out by Melkor so that was fine by him.
“Come on, how hard would it be to create some others. Some people who really like fun. Some children who act stupidly so you can laugh at them when they fail.” Eru did agree with himself on this one, all the Ainur seemed quite a bit wholier-than-thou. That little Ainu certainly didn’t seem like they would be party animal to say the least.
So when the Ainur were all distracted, Eru made the children of Iluvatar; the elves and the men. Secretly using the songs of the Ainur, Eru shaped the elves into hot, party loving sass kings and the men into battle happy, blundering big folk.
“Excuse me Mr God, what are you doing?” The little Aniu said, spotting that Eru was shaping something behind his back.
“I’m making you and your friends something that will keep you all busy and will amuse me terrifically. Meet the children of Iluvatar!” Eru exclaimed proudly, producing men and elves from behind his back.
All the Ainur looked on in horror.
