the only possible main couple i could ever think of who would get married is doc and owen and even that’s, like……ages in the future (unless maybe pearl and cleo did to see each other in the hospital or something?) but i really want them all at a wedding
abolish is as cool as ever, an image slightly ruined by the fact that apo and cherri are absolute menaces and are not letting him have a break. they secretly coordinated on the best way to raise his blood pressure. they’re stealing as much free food as they can, apo’s helping cherri light a fire for effect, they’re careening around the dance floor (they know how to dance but it’s funnier like this). abolish is yanking them down seconds before they start a cake fight and hissing at them to behave
avid and shelby have literally never been to a fancy event ever and it shows. drift has some experience (for whatever random reason) and she’s quietly teaching them how to act. drift looks very nice in a neat suit, shelby is harnessing positive vibes to look like she belongs, and avid looks like a complete disaster. his hair is messy, his tie isn’t tied properly, his shirt is wrinkled, he’s got dirt on his face. at one point he asks what the cake knife is for and shelby answers, “to stab the maid of honor and best man.” and drift doesn’t know if they’re joking or not
pearl and cleo look gorgeous and put together as usual. they try to enjoy themselves, but end up babysitting avid, shelby, and drift from a distance. cleo sees apo and cherri causing trouble and is about to go start shit, but they catch cherri’s eye and she smiles at them with too many teeth. they decide that’s not their problem today, actually.
pyro knows how to act because he’s a rich kid, but he also attends the apokuna corruption school of stick it to the man whenever possible, so he’s quietly encouraging apo and cherri’s worst intentions and eating as much as possible. they leave early to get high and come back to some shenanigan that’s probably cryptid crew’s fault. abolish thought pyro would be on his best behavior for some reason, but pyro has no problem being a menace as long as he doesn’t get in trouble for it
i really want bloodletting to show up solely for owen to look like a feral forest goblin who hasn’t seen a comb in at least century and legs to look dapper and hot af in a suit. it’s doing something to owen but no one is sure if he’s going to kiss or kill legs
Okay. Okay okay okay. You know who would get married and invite all of these people?
Martyn and Ren. For "tax and living cost benefits," but of course they're going to get married properly, they're doing a whole production and everyone else Will play along Or Else.
Abolish spent fifteen minutes minimum explaining how to act to Apo and Cherri and neither of them were listening. They were texting each other plans on how to maximise appetisers consumed and how to ensure all of Martyn's favourites were gone before he got there. They dance and Apo stumbles and Cherri 'stumbles' to make her feel better and it instantly devolves into "technically the dance moves if you squint" (Abolish Does Not dance with either of them. He's already so frustrated watching that if Apo gets in his face he might try to kiss or hit her and the humiliation from Either of those would kill him on the spot.) (Cherri calls him out on that and it goes Entirely over Apo's head and Abolish decides he's just not going to do any dishes for the next month in petty revenge.)
Drift in her lil dapper suit!! Fuck yes!! Shelby has put together what's... not a wedding guest outfit, but she gets a pass because she looks very cute. Avid was in a nice outfit (one of Drift's) but that was before he climbed two trees trying to rescue a baby bird that was fine the whole time. The best man and the maid of honour have to "get married if the bride and groom run away and get cursed by a witch instead if one shows up" and Drift is 60% sure they're serious.
Pearl isn't in a suit but she's butching it up. It's definitely not a dress, she just doesn't like suits either. Cleo's in a full ballgown and made a comment or two about it to Apo but Cherri a) caught all the implications when Apo did not and b) can play that game too, Cleo. They have so much fun together judging everyone else's fashion choices they almost forget to be bitchy.
Pyro eating as much as possible and sneaking out to get high... your Mind. He and M are found with a joint; Pyro blames M, who's too busy giggling to defend himself, but Ren (who caught them) just demands they pass it. He knocks something over and hides instead of trying to fix it. Abolish thought For Sure Pyro would be reasonable and was so incredibly wrong.
Owen is wearing Louis's clothes, which are a) fine but not Rich Person Clothes, b) two centuries out of date, and c) not actually sized for Owen. It's the first time any of them have seen the doctor out of his lab coat and he's shockingly hot. Owen looms ominously in the corner before swooping out (a wedding is actually Triggering he's just thinking about how much he wanted to marry Louis now) and Legs doesn't follow, he stays inside and mingles with the other guests and gets hit on by M.