Showing - Nanny McPhee
Staring - Simon Brown (Age Up) X Reader
Rating - 15
Reading Time - 30 min 14 sec (3929)
Publicly, ‘The house down the way,’ some called it, others simply said ‘the one with the blue window and red door,’ or ‘The one with the tall tower,’ all of which were people being tenderfoot around what many of them wished they could say. But privately, the house was called far worse things, ‘That house with a hundred kids,’ or ‘The Rabbit warren up the river.’
Simon Brown never much minded. He didn’t put much study into what other people thought of him; he was far too busy these days. Not like their words didn’t have some level of truth to them… Currently, the brown house was home to eighteen people with plans to grow once more.
The room had once been his father’s study, and Simon had in truth changed very little about it, other than repairing a few furniture items when time had worn them away, and of course littering the place with photos. Simon did love photography so that it had become his utter obsession when it first began making waves; he was fascinated by the idea of capturing a moment in time perfectly forever, he’d likely be called a shutterbug if such a term existed yet.
And Simon’s most favourite thing in the world to capture was, of course, his family. After all, children grow so quickly, but in his photos, the children would be young and adorable forever. Even in not a single one of his pictures, the children had managed to keep still and sweet long enough for the picture, leading to most being half-blurry captures of pure chaos.
So his office was full of photos, stacked on the mantle, shelf and even the walls to the point of almost breaking. But only one got to sit in the silver frame on his desk, the photo of his beloved Wife sat posing for him not long after their wedding.
Simon sat as he so often did, in his study. Typing away on his typewriter, trying to avoid the loud screaming, shouting and occasional sounds of objects breaking, all of which he knew came from his children, all running amok around the house like tiny pixies hell bent on destruction.
“Y/n! Darling…” he cooed as his office door opened to reveal his beautiful wife,
“Evening,” Y/n smiled as she slowly waddled her way across his office, one hand on her heavily pregnant belly, the other took his as soon as she was close enough,
“Good evening, my sweet angel,” he cooed as he pulled her close. He settled his hands on her bump and gave her as many kisses as he could manage. “What great deed have I done that I am blessed with your visit?”
“It’s dinner time, you dummy.” She chuckled playfully, giving him a wack on his blonde head,
“Owww! What was that for?” he whined as he brought his hand up to rub where she hit.
“Why did you arm the children, Simon?” she glared with her hands on her hips,
“… I did not arm the children,” he tried to defend,
“You told Herman and Anthony to play swords!”
“I… I simply encouraged them to engage with some creative play… in the form of sticks I found in the garden that kinda look like swords,” He sheepishly explained, “But! But… I did it so my sweet wife can have some peace, and some rest while the baby grows… and so I could get some work done.” he cooed, hoping to appeal to her,
“You armed them, and they’d been running around all afternoon trying to start duels with their siblings.”
“Okay… yeah, that is on me,” he sighed, “I’m sorry, Darling,” he whined, nuzzling her bump,
“It's alright, you just have to remember not to encourage them so much, those boys can be damn right evil when they want to be,” she said as she pet his hair,
“Ummm, they're too smart, like their mother,” he cooed between kisses,
But a little giggle interrupted them,
When Simon and Y/n looked to the door, they, of course, saw Christina in her little pink dress, giggling away. “Mummy and Daddy are kissing!”
Y/n chuckled and slightly rolled her eyes,
“Yes, sweetheart, Mummy and Daddy are kissing again.” Simon cooed, “I just can’t help it, your mummy is far too beautiful for daddy to resist her.” he smirked, “But you're just as beautiful too, come here.” he offered her,
Christina immediately ran and jumped into Simon’s arms, which he happily closed around her as he lifted her up onto his lap and showered her in kisses.
“When you two are finished, it is dinner time.” Y/n reminds,
“Ohh yes! Shall we, sweetheart? Shall we go see what’s for dinner?” Simon asked,
Christina nodded and jumped from his lap to run off for dinner,
“Come on, darling, let me help,” Simon told her rather sternly as he held Y/n in his arms, helping her to walk across the house.
Dinner was chaotic as ever; the long wooden table almost seemed comical, needing three chandeliers above it just to light the whole thing. Of course, Simon sat at the head of the table, with Y/n at his side. The children had quite perfectly sat in age order of their own accord, of course, the eldest wanting to be as far from their parents as possible, and the youngest as close as possible. Charlotte was in her highchair, slowly being fed by Y/n. George sat in his raised seat, trying to feed potatoes to his very messy teddy bear. Christina bounced in her seat, trying to kick her little feet. Anthony and Herman, still deep in their game, were now sword-fighting with their cutlery, much to the dismay of Herman’s twin sister Harriet, who frankly looked like she was about to pick up a knife herself and end the foolish fighting. Francine sat picking at her food, trying to push most of it away. Walt and William sat silently, eating but watching as always. The triplets, Lewis, Verne and Samuel, all of course sat bickering as they ate, tossing food between each other. Elizabeth sat properly in polite discussion with her sister Emily, the two having a full conversation around their brother Nathaniel, who was so used to this he didn’t even bother to complain about it anymore. And finally, Charles sat across from his father, grumpy and bitter as usual.
Simon and Y/n did try and keep the peace between them, but it wasn’t a success.
Once dinner was done or at least the children had had their fill of it, leaving behind a dirty table and a few bent forks, they all ran off to play some more with Simon’s demand for them to get ready for bed instantly falling on deaf ears.
“Shall we head to bed?” Y/n smiled, holding Charlotte on her hip,
Simon sighed and nodded, “Yeah, we can hope they’ll get to bed soon…” he took baby Charlotte from her and the three headed upstairs to bed. Simon settled Charlotte in her crib at the bottom of their bed before he changed himself and climbed into bed beside Y/n.
“Time for bed,”
“Ummm, time for bed,” He agreed as he lay down and brought Y/n over to lie on his chest, “We don’t have… bad kids… right?”
“We have… spirited children,”
“Spirited?” He laughed, “One word for them, I suppose.”
“Individually, the children are perfect,”
“But?”
“But… we have a lot of them, Simon, purely by numbers alone, it’s going to be a little chaotic.”
“True, and we can’t always monitor everything… I can barely keep track of them all half the time.”
“How did your father manage?”
“He didn’t,” he laughed, “Even so, he had half the number we did. We were… such little shits.”
“Were?”
“Yeah, we got better. We had an amazing nanny… scared us all straight, and then father got remarried so… things became different.”
“Perhaps we should look up that nanny,” she joked,
“Wouldn’t be a bad idea,” he smirked, “I don’t recall father having any information for her, though?”
“You could ask him,”
Simon slightly glared down at Y/n,
“Sorry,” she huffed,
“There is no force on heaven or earth that would make me go see my father, Darling.”
“Alright, it was merely a suggestion, Simon.”
“Umm… well, suggest better ideas,” he joked, giving her some playful kisses, “I can think of far better things to be doing right now,”
“And I will consider it, after this baby is born,”
He pouted, “Fine.”
Suddenly, a loud crash came from the children’s room downstairs,
“I’m going,” He groaned,
Simon sat in his office, the sounds of chaos echoing in the house so much so that he could barely focus on where the characters on his typewriter keys even were. He rubbed his temples, trying to soothe the headache that was already in full swing.
Suddenly, a knock came from the door. He sighed and slowly made his way across the house to the front door, but he spotted Y/n making her way down the stairs,
“No, no, go on. Go have a nice cup of tea, I’ll handle it,” he cooed, kissing her and ushering her towards the living room,
“We aren’t expecting anyone, are we?”
“No, but you leave it to me,” he told her,
“Alright,” she sighed, heading to the living room,
Simon fixed his hair and went out onto the porch to meet whomever was there, but the second he got out there… he swallowed a scream. A panic, once forgotten, unlocked deep within him, making his stomach turn, his body fell back against the closed door, and his eyes went wide in panic. “O-oh my god-” He cursed,
“Hello, Mr Brown,” Nanny McPhee spoke, using the same tone she had once used for his father, as she stood in the same clothes she had worn all those years ago,
“You-” He choked as all the colour drained from his cheeks, “You- you can’t be- I- i was good…” he whimpered as his heart rose to his throat,
“You have Simon,” she nodded, “But it is not you I am here for. We can both agree… your children need my help.”
He gulped, “Yes… I uhh I can agree on that,” He nodded, “Please, do come in.”
She bowed her head and followed Simon into the house, surveying the place silently, “The home has grown.”
“Very much so,” he sighed, “Come, there is someone I’d like you to meet.” He said as he led her into the living room,
While Y/n sat pouring herself some tea, she looked up and was understandably confused about the woman in her home. “Ohh… Hello?”
“Y/n, Darling, this uhh well… this is Nanny McPhee. Nanny McPhee, this is Y/n Brown, my beloved wife and mother of my children.” Simon introduced,
“Pleasure, Madam,” Nanny McPhee bowed her head to her,
“Yes, a pleasure, Miss McPhee,” Y/n smiled while giving Simon a questionable look,
“Do, have a seat,” he encouraged, before taking Y/n by the hand and sitting with her.
“Simon?” Y/n whispered, “Who is this woman?”
“This is it. This is her.”
“Who?”
“My old Nanny, the one I told you about… the one who scared us straight.”
“How did you get in contact? And how is she here so quickly?”
“I didn’t- look, this is how it happens, she just… shows up when you need her and goes when we don’t.”
“But how?”
“I have no clue, but it worked on us.”
Nanny McPhee cleared her throat,
“Yes! Sorry… just uhh my wife she uhh doesn’t have the uhh… deeply rooted memories of you, that I do.” Simon gulped,
“Well, I shall ask simple questions. How many children do you have?”
Simon went a little white, “Well… uhhh…”
“We have sixteen.” Y/n answered, “Number seventeen on the way.”
“Sixteen?” She gasped, eyes widening, glare instantly falling on Simon. “And how on gods good earth did that happen?”
Y/n smirked a little and also glared at Simon,
“We are… affectionate.” He said sheepishly, “No- you know what, I don’t have to explain myself to you, I love my wife. That’s why.”
Y/n smiled and squeezed his hand a little tighter,
“I see, and these sixteen children… do they go to bed when they're told?”
“Not even to their rooms,” he sighed,
“Simon!” Y/n gasped,
“Trust me, it’s better if we just tell her the truth.” Simon nodded,
“Do they get up when they’re told?”
“Often up before we are,” Y/n admitted,
“Do they get dressed when they’re told?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Do they say please and thank you?”
“Occasionally.”
“I see, well then. Your children will require five lessons; I am sure they will be familiar to you. I take Sunday afternoons off, and is the room I had prior still able to be used?”
“Yes, uh not a problem, but uhh… the room is a problem. We live up there now.” He explained, “So uhhh we have the guest house, which you are more than welcome to.”
“And your rate?” Y/n asked sheepishly,
“I charge no rate for my services, Mrs Brown,” she said, “Room and Board my only payments needed,”
“Oh! Well then, welcome.”
“You simply need to understand, when you need me, but do not want me, then I must stay. When you want me, but no longer need me, then I have to go.”
“I uhh I remember.” Simon agreed,
Simon stood in the garden, watching as Nanny McPhee had so… easily ranged the children, the change in them had been so fast… it had shocked Simon, but at the same time, he guessed his own was likely shocking. But he stood setting up his camera, trying to get it all settled.
“Let me take young Charlotte, Miss Emily.” Nanny McPhee spoke up and took baby Charlotte from the arms of her eldest sister,
“Ohh… alright,” she said sheepishly, handing her over,
“Line up now, Mr Verne,” Nanny McPhee said as she tried to usher Verne out from hiding behind her dress,
For some unknown reason, Verne really liked her and insisted on being close to her, but he begrudgingly came out and got into line with his siblings.
“That everyone?” Simon asked, “Headcount?”
“All sixteen,” Nanny McPhee nodded, “Present and accounted for,”
“Age order?”
“I believe so.”
“Charles, Emily, Nathaniel, Elizabeth, the triplets Samuel, Verne and Lewis, then the twins, William and Walt, then Francine, the other twins Herman and Harriet, then Anthony, Christina, George and Charlotte,” he explained. “Y/n… Y/n? Where’s your mother?”
The children all shrugged,
“Y/n! Darling!” He called, but no answer came. “Well, we get one of the children. Everyone smile!”
Of course, all the children began making silly faces, so Simon had to waste a plate on their foolishness, but once he did, they all began panicked, rushed screams of concern and fear.
“What on earth is going on?” Y/n asked as she came down the porch steps,
The children all gasped and began to stop their screams, wiping their small tears and standing back in line.
“Just a moment,” Nanny McPhee told her,
Y/n sheepishly went to Simon, “What happened?”
“I think she did one of those things…” he whispered,
“What things?”
“One of those things… I am not sure if I remember correctly…”
“So one of those things that has traumatised you beyond belief.”
“Yep.”
“Oh…”
“Yeah… I think just uhh carry on,” he nodded,
“I don’t want her to traumatise our children, Simon,”
“She won’t let anything hurt them… I know it,” He said, giving her a tender kiss.
She nodded nervously and joined the children for the picture.
Simon sat down in his office, tea at his side, ready to get some work done.
“Ahhh… quiet,” he cooed, enjoying the house's silence, or he did.
“SIMON!” Y/n screams from their bedroom,
Without hesitation, he leapt from his chair and bolted upstairs, instantly seeing the red across their sheets.
“Oh god- Oh no… It's okay, it’ll be okay, Darling.” He cooed, kissing her, before he ran to call for the doctor.
Simon sat on the stairs outside their bedroom, listening intently as the town doctor worked on Y/n. Soon enough, he wasn’t alone as Nanny McPhee arrived and sat down properly on the stairwell,
“The children are asleep,”
“A miracle.”
“Indeed,”
“Surprised they can sleep with all this.”
“The eldest have seen it before, the youngest don’t understand.”
“I suppose so…” He sighed, “I used to think it was a dream, you know,”
“How so?”
“Your changes, I was a kid, but I noticed them. You think as an adult I wouldn’t?”
“You’d be surprised how little most adults do,”
“I suppose, and I guess most don’t have a childhood memory to fall back on.”
“None of them do.”
“What is wrong with my kids? Truly? I always thought they were… okay, Playfully, energetic, I… I didn’t think they were bad.”
“You’re children… have endless conspirators, their older sibling won’t do something with them, a younger will,” she explained. “Most of them know you and your wife are not their point of authority.”
“So it is my fault.”
“It is no one's fault,” she said, “Raising children is hard, and you did your best. Mistakes were made, but just that you're so concerned over them is more so than your father did.”
“Still…”
“Why did you have so many children?”
He chuckled, “Short answer… is honestly that I love my wife. More so than I think most men do, I’d do anything for her, and an easy way to show her how much is… giving her children.” He explained, “The longer answer…” he sighed, “I suppose, I didn’t want the children ever feeling alone, with siblings they can have fun, and learn, and eat, sleep all with their siblings it… it makes up for when Y/n and I and aren’t around, or we’re too busy- I… I didn’t want them to feel…unwanted or… abandoned.”
“Did you never worry that Charles, Emily and Natheneil may feel that way? When they watch you and Y/n have more and more children?”
“No.” He barked, “No… we made sure, we never wanted that for them. I didn’t want my children to feel replaced!”
“Like you had,”
“You know about that then?”
“Your father didn’t want that either.”
“But he did.” He snapped, “Once Evangeline had her children… he didn’t have a care for us. At least not for me. These new babies were perfect, and we… we were the scrapped first draft.” he wiped a tear, “I love my children, all of them. And I do everything I can to share such love with so many of them.”
“No such love you give your father?”
“I have sixteen children to worry over; I need not give space to a father who has never even met my children, nor shown desire to.” He sighed, “I have tried… truly I have, over the many years, but… he does not wish to see me, he doesn’t approve of Y/n, and he doesn’t care for my children. So why would I care for him?”
She nodded, “Sometimes you must separate yourself.”
“You think I’m a bad father… that I had too many children, that I selfishly kept giving them siblings and spread myself too thin… making my children feel worthless and abandoned.”
“I do not,” she answered, “You are a good father, Simon. And your children love you dearly; they simply all need you.”
He sniffled away a tear and nodded, “Thank you,”
The door quickly opened, and the doctor stepped out,
“Is she alright!” Simon jumped to his feet,
“Mrs Brown is… well, recovering.”
“And the baby?”
“Strong, given its rushed entrance.”
Simon let out a long sigh in relief,
“But… there was a complication, Mr Brown,”
“Yes?”
“Mrs Brown her… her body was damaged severely by this child, she… she will be unable to conceive again.”
“I- I see.” Simon nodded, fighting back tears, “But she is well?”
“She will be, in time.”
“Thank you, doctor,” he nodded, watching as the doctor left,
“So, this one is the last?” Nanny McPhee asked,
“I- I suppose so. Our last baby… I- I didn’t think it- I mean, we’d talked about… but I- This is our last baby.”
“Then now, there is no fear.”
“Yeah, no more fear… the children are… as they are. Oldest to youngest. And that’s how they’ll stay,” he softly smiled, “Tend the children, I uhh I need time with my wife.”
“Of course, Mr Brown,”
Once she was gone, Simon slowly entered the bedroom, and without a word, he crawled in beside Y/n and cradled her.
“I-im so sorry,” she wept,
“Shhh shhh shh, Y/n, darling, what are you crying for?” he cooed,
“I- I can’t have any more babies…”
“I know, I’m so sorry, Darling, but do not even consider for the briefest of moments that it makes me love you any less. You have given me seventeen of the most perfect and beautiful children, more than ever could have ever asked of you. If your body says no more, then we must listen,” he explained, “I adore you, my sweet wife. If you had given me twenty, ten or no children at all. Now all of our love can go to the sweet children we have, without worry about when you will fall with your next. Seventeen, a lucky number, I think. Our family is done growing, and I am happiest now that I know we are all together.”
“You are not angry? Or disappointed with me?”
“Never, Y/n,” he reassured, “I love you, and I am so proud of you.”
“I love you too,” she whimpered, turning enough to kiss him. “He’s in the cradle,”
“He?”
“Mhm,” she nodded, “One last boy.”
“Perfect, start on a boy, end with a boy.” He chuckled, “You rest, my Darling, I will handle him.” Simon slowly stood and tucked Y/n in before he went to the crib and gently looked in on the new baby boy. “Hello kiddo, so you're our last little boy.” he smiled gently, picking him up and cradling the boy in his arms, “You are perfect, just as you are. I love you endlessly, and I promise you and all your siblings, I will make each and everyone of you know how important you each are to me.” he smiled, “… Cedric.” he smiled, “Yeah? You like that… Okay then, Cedric Brown.”
“After your father?” Natailie asked,
Simon nodded and pressed a gentle kiss to Cedric’s head.
Simon set up the camera as the children all happily got in line, all in their matching new clothes. No chaos, no arguing, each one hugging Y/n as they got into line, no longer simply eldest to youngest but gathered together at various ages and heights, so everyone fit snugly and happily with faces smiling wide. Young Cedric, now a year old still in Y/n’s arms.
“Alright, everyone smiling?” Simon chuckled, “Okay, one, two, three!” He called out as he took the photo. “Hey! Lovely, utterly beautiful all of you.”
“You should get in one,” Y/n laughed,
“Yeah, Daddy!” Many of the children called,
“Really? Ohh uhh…” he trailed off, thinking of a way to do it, but he saw Nanny McPhee coming down the porch, “Nanny McPhee would you-”
“Of course,” she nodded,
“Thank you so much,” he nodded before he rushed over and put his arm around Y/n and gave a kiss to little Cedric. “Okay, Everyone, One, Two, Three!”
“Hey!” Everyone cheered in celebration,
“Oh, we should get another of Nanny McPhee with the children,” Y/n suggested,
“Aww, you're right, that would be so sweet, what do we think, kids? One more with your Nanny?”
“Yeah!” They all cheered,
“Nanny McPhee?” Y/n asked, noticing she was gone,
The children began to look curiously, and even Simon searched around curiously before the words came to him as they had once before.
“When you need me, but do not want me, then I must stay. When you want me, but no longer need me, then I have to go,” he muttered,
“We… no longer need her?” Y/n asked,
“No, we don’t.” Simon nodded with confidence, “We no longer need her, but we thank her for her time nonetheless.” he smiled, “Come on, you lot, let's head in for supper.”
Yo lowkey I’m eating a Thonalby burger and a Newtmas tomato soup with Thominho fries and a Nalby side salad with a Sonyarriet shake and some Brenderesa ice cream with some Minally candy and some Jeffston cookies with some ‘Stiles Stilinski as Thomas’ gummy worms and some ‘Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski angst’ gum so my breath can be fresh oh and also some ‘Newt as Simon Brown’ beer on the side too
I feel like the world is pranking me. Is TBS not ginger? I feel like it was more ginger when he was a kid and it’s become more brown as he’s gotten older, but still gingery nonetheless. People were commenting that he would have made a good Peter Pan “if he had been ginger, but that wouldn’t suit him” and all websites say he’s brunette. Is this man not ginger?? Someone tell me before I get my eyes tested
I think this one is pretty much self explanatory, we all had a crush on him.
Ian from What a Girl Wants
Still a pretty standard and normal crush. That hair was so cool when I was like 7.
Dapne from Sccoby-Doo
Who am I kidding, I still have a crush on Sarah Michelle Gellar, she's so pretty. Little me had confusing fellings about her in those short dresses.
Velma's friend from Scooby-Doo
This man doesn't even have a name but I was so gone for him. The hair, the eyes, the goatee, the shirt... I still love him. Somebody give a name to my boy. (And I'm still mad that they didn't let him have a kiss with Velma. I know she was supposed to be gay, but if you didn't make her gay, and made her have a crush on Seth Green in the second movie, she at least could've had this beauty of a man...)
Both Robin and Maria from The Secret of Moonacre
Such an underrated movie. I loved Maria, she was so sweet and pretty and my little heart could barely handle the scene where she wakes up with curly hair (I couldn't find a picture.) And let's be honest, everyone who watched this movie had a crush on Robin with his stupid little bowler hat and smudged eyeliner. (Oh so that's where my obsession with men in eyeliner came from...)
Simon from Nanny McPhee
I still have a crush on Thomas Brodie-Sangster. He was my first ever celebrity crush. There used to be a giant poster of Nanny McPhee in the hallway of my elementary school and I used to go to that part of the school just to look at him. I had no other business in that part, I took trips to see him. I still would, tbh.
Audrey from Atlantis: The Lost Empire
She's cool, she's badass, she's pretty, she's witty. I was whipped the moment she came on screen. I loved that she was a strong female character surrounded by men and she was treated as equal. Same goes for Helga (but she was evil so little me drew the line there) and Kida too (I don't know why but I preferred Audrey over her. Maybe because the scene where she's taken by the crystal freaked me out a kid.).
Vinny from Atlantis: The Lost Empire
He's the funniest of them all. There's nothing else neccessary for me to develop a crush.
Cinderella from Cinderell II: Dreams Come True
Let's be clear, Cinderella from the second movie. Not the original, not third with the time travelling AU. This Cinderella was sweet but independent, confident and determined. And she had a great wardrobe. I loved her so much.
Linda from Rio
Specifically this scene. The part where she drives the motorcycle also did things to me at 13 but I was done for when she put on this costume.
Fly from Help! I'm a Fish
Now, we're getting into weird territory. For those of you who haven't seen this movie, for most of the runtime he's a fish. And yet, I had such a big crush on him. He was a hot fish, okay?
Mr Tumnus from The Cronicles of Narnia
I might out myself as a furry now, but I don't even find James McAvoy that attractive without the faun make up. MAybe I had a crush on him because of his personality. Let's just say it was that.
Nico from Rio
I know, I know, he's a bird. But have you seen the part at the party when he says "Party in Ipanema, baby!"? That's hot, okay? I might or might not have written self insert fanfiction about him and myself (as bird of course)...
