#simple math

[judblanc]

the part rian is not saying out loud here but that we all know is that catholics/christians in general are at their actual best when they're 1. lapsed (aka no longer supporting the institution of the church or persuading others to do so) and 2. queer (self-explanatory). so if jud really is the best of christianity he's gotta fit these criteria as well eventually

[kaiju-krew]

how mothra will stop them from fighting btw

template

[hale-my-nathan]

Trump Weird News - Trumps Math Still Stinks - He Doesn't Learn

[durnesque-esque]

Y'all, tell me if I'm the asshole on this one.

Half my job is explaining basic math to adults. But I've got these customers telling me they're confused because their bill says they got a discount day in April, but "it's still so much money!"

Let's pretend the bill looks like this:

So I tell them, yes there was a holiday on 4/3 per the union so we don't charge for that day.

They reply, but how can that be because they're still being charged for 30 days?

I reply, no, as noted on your invoice, you are being charged for 21 days.

They are still so confused, the prebill didn't have any of this information, they thought they were being billed 7 days a week! Now, in their defense, the prebill comes from a different program and comes out looking like this:

So I send the prebill back to them and say, yes, unfortunately the prebill software has this error where it will not display the number of days being charged for, but the rate and total are still there and still work out the same.

They complain this is still so confusing and doesn't match what they were quoted. They demand to know what math I'm using to get these rates and totals. Their quote comes from the same software as the prebill, so I send it back to them.

And then I go into the step by step of: Your initial quote included a room you are not using, so that is not being billed for. But as you can see, the daily rate is still listed on the quote, the prebill, & the final invoice and it's the same for the 4 rooms you are renting. So 4 x $10 is $40. Meaning your daily room charge is $40. There are 21 billable days in April (Mondays - Fridays only, we do not charge weekends, we do not charge for 4/3/26 which was a holiday per the union) and 21 x $40 is $840. So that's the total included on both the prebill and the final invoice.

(For additional clarity: quotes are sent before a rental starts. Prebills are sent during the month for the month being billed. The renters must approve the prebill. Then in the following month, the invoice is sent for the final bill. I.e. I tell you in April how much April will cost, you agree, then in May, I charge you for April and you pay it).

They say this is still very confusing and can I tell them how many days they are being billed for in the future. I tell them yes, I can of course note how many days the bill is for in future months, but reiterate the backwards math of total/rate is also always available if they need to double check.

HOMIES: ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS $840 / $40 = 21 TO WORK IT OUT. THIS IS NOT MAGIC. IT'S 4TH GRADE MATH.

Also, it's insane to me that they're arguing as if I am being duplicitous somehow and not even noting that because they are not being charged for holidays or weekends, they are SAVING MONEY. The original quote does not account for holidays, so they are being charged LESS MONEY than they were originally told!!!

Maybe I'm the asshole for expecting people to do simple math and then for explaining it step by step so that maybe they'll actually do it, but I have this almost exact conversation multiple times a year and it just blows my mind every time. Do the math. It's easy. And it's YOUR JOB!

[leetaylatuparitaulus]

Brought to you by pictures I found on Pinterest, 2 interviews of Christian, and "Messiah" by Sevdaliza on loop-

(Glasses and Dress/Bodysuit ref under the cut)

[silusvesuius]

damn, i wonder which of the brothers chains prefers

two-timing and cheating exists for a reason damn... aaaaaaall his business💜💁‍♀️

[alverrann]

POV the command crew are all cats

ENT: The bridge is in chaos, but Lieutenant Reed - a tiny brown ball of growls and hisses - won't let you get past the science station, (where T'Pol is watching with unnervingly knowing eyes). By the time you get to the helm, gently pushing a placid Merryweather aside to take control, you're bleeding from multiple scratches and wondering if you can be court-martialed for stunning a cat.

TOS: Watching Sulu and Chekov wrestle with each other is funny until they send the ship towards a star. Kirk is curled up in his chair as though nothing has changed, and Mr. Scott is missing (he was here three minutes ago, you swear). McCoy keeps bothering Spock, who - thankfully - isn't reacting, and Kirk meows a few times as you put the ship back on course, as though he's narrating your work. You hear a yowl and turn to find McCoy hissing, spitting and licking his paw, glaring at Spock, who seems ... smug?

TNG: Thankfully Data - as an android - is unaffected, though if you didn't know any better, you'd even say he's pleased? ... Maybe that's his concerned expression, but the amount of time he's taking to replicate the "correct" food for them seems longer than it should be (all while holding La Forge, whose VISOR no longer fits). The cats themselves remain remarkably well-behaved until Worf pounces on Riker's tail.

DS9: At first you were happy that Odo wasn't affected, but he won't stop complaining even though he's spending every extra moment with the cats. You plan to tell Sisko about his dedication and sacrifice (and is he cuddling Kira? Surely not) You've tripped on Bashir twice, and Dax keeps meowing at your for things ... or maybe for fun. You overhear and put a stop to Quark's payment for Garak to tailor tiny uniforms for each cat (the type of payment you're sure he'll want reimbursed), though Garak seems willing to do it for free.

VOY: Janeway and Chakotay keep grooming each other, and the Doctor sees this as the perfect opportunity to assume command. Neelix is setting up a small play area for the cats and scolding them, and Torres has already bitten you twice. Seven won't stop following you, and- ... where are Paris and Kim?

[dreamchaserguild]

Sally's Apples

Challenge: Can you solve this story problem without rereading it? Pay close attention!

Sally has a basket with eight apples. Five of the apples are red. Three of the apples are green.

Sally needs to deliver these red and green apples through the dark woods to the hungry kids in the refugee camp. The last person to go through the dark woods never returned.

On the trail, one priest stops Sally and offers her one magical ward in exchange for two apples, but Sally already has a couple magical wards and doesn’t need anymore. She tries to push past the priest, but he says he won’t let her go into the woods unless she gives him at least one apple. So Sally gives him one red apple, then holds up one middle finger to him as she enters the woods.

In the woods, Sally finds another basket of apples next to a skeleton. Oh, that’s what happened to the last person who went into the woods before Sally! The skeleton’s basket has two less red apples than Sally’s and two more green apples. Sally takes all the apples from the second basket and puts them into her own because the skeleton wasn’t going to need them anymore.

Suddenly, a giant hairy insectlike monster with two long antennae, six beady eyes and a long tail with a sharp point like a Scorpion’s (which Sally finds weird because Scorpions are arachnids; not insects) leaps out at her. Sally runs away as fast as she can while carrying her basket filled with a variable number of apples, but she trips and drops one green apple and two red apples.

After a while, Sally gets hungry. She knows these apples need to be delivered to the poor refugee kids, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt to eat one. Sally picks up one red apple and gets ready to eat it. Then she sees a strange tree growing weird purple apples. There are seven purple apples on the tree. Sally picks a purple apple and eats it. It tastes strange and she feels good. Then she picks another and eats it too. Altogether, Sally ate two purple apples. Sally picks the other purple apples and puts them into her basket.

After trudging further into the woods, now feeling good, Sally finds a unicorn with three green apples stuck on its horn. She runs to it and picks the apples from the horn, putting them into her basket one by one. But then she realizes she’s hallucinating and those apples aren’t real. Silly Sally. That’s why you shouldn’t eat mysterious purple apples in dark forests.

Sally throws out the other purple apples. Drugging children is very illegal.

While still super high, Sally trips. Literally in addition to metaphorically. She loses zero green apples and zero red apples. But she hurts her leg and needs to pick up a stick to walk with. A green stick.

Then Sally hears the monster from earlier coming at her from behind. It’s going to eat her, and she can’t run away. So Sally takes her green walking stick and jabs it into one of the monster’s eyes, poking it out. The monster whimpers and runs back into the woods because the monster was a pussy.

But in the struggle, Sally dropped two green apples. But after some searching, she finds one of them and puts it back in her basket.

At last, Sally makes it to the refugees with the remaining red and green apples.

There are six children. Three of the children are dressed in red. Three of the children are dressed in green. The children in green like Sally’s  green walking stick. The children in red do not. Sally wants to divide the apples in a way that each kid gets an equal share of apples that matches the color they’re dressed in. Then Sally realizes that would be stupid and doesn’t do that.

Sally tells the story of her epic journey through the woods after passing out apples for all the kids, and all the children listen intently to Sally’s story.

Did you listen intently to the story? If so, can you tell me...

How many eyes does the monster that chased Sally have?

I cheated and reread the story! I don't deserve to vote and now I'm sad. 😢

Two

Three

Ten

Six

Seven

One

None

Four

Five

Eleven

Eight

Voting ended onSep 29, 2025

(For your convenience, all numbers are ordered in the only correct way: Reverse Alphabetical.)