*Tanky = the real ship of my whole friend group feat my two friend Tan and Ky.
“Bullshit. There is no possible way that you don’t think that they are cute.”
Sirius doesn’t even bother to look at Remus’ phone, out on the table in front of them. “Jesus Christ Re. Get your creepy fanfics out of here.”
“They’re not my fanfics,” Remus says petulantly. “I can’t write as good as this. There’s this guy on Tumblr - you’ll like his username, it’s @siriusly-over-it and his writing is amazing. Incredible. Like, listen: Tan’s eyes were like the sun, all golden light and fire, so bright that Ky was burning - “
“Oh sweet Jesus,” Sirius mutters. “Now he’s reading me gay porn.”
“They haven’t done anything yet,” Remus tells him. “But the author just recently changed the rating on the fic from an M to an E, so hopefully that means I’ll at least get some smut.”
Sirius stares at him, a wounded expression on his face. “You prefer a gay porno fanfic over me?”
Remus shakes his head. He snatches his phone up from the table; Sirius had refused to even glance at the screen. With a sigh he thumbs through his Tumblr account, past all the familiar fanarts and all the incorrect quotes. He pauses on one image - it’s a drawing, the colours dark and beautful, the twisted bodies somehow conveying sorrow and joy both at the same time. “See? How can you not ship Tanky after this?”
“I do ship Tanky,” Sirius says. “I just don’t ship them enough to write a 70k essay on them boning.”
“Not all stories are of them boning.”
“The vast majority of them are.”
“As if you wouldn’t like to read an explicit 70k, enemies-to-lovers, hate sex - “
“And nope.” Sirius stands up; he cards his fingers through his hair, tugging at the dark strands. “This is where I vanish, before my boyfriend gets a boner talking about fictional characters.”
Remus rolls his eyes. Sirius’ lips quirk up in a small smile; he wraps his hand in the neck of Remus’ hoodie, yanking him across the table to kiss him hard. Remus relaxes, lets Sirius run his hands over his waist, finishing off the kiss with a sharp nip at his lower lip.
Sirius winks. “Maybe you can search that up next. ‘Tanky, lip biting, slow burn - ‘“
“Oh you’ve totally searched that up before.”
Sirius just laughs, shrugging his backpack on one shoulder. “Maybe. Maybe I’m a secret fanfic writer by night.”
Remus flips him off. “Seriously- “
“Fuck you. It’s pretty incredible - there’s this entire community on there, and you can either write or just lurk around like I do!”
Sirius leans his head on Remus’ shoulder. He smiles, breath warming Remus’ skin. “You and your creepy cult.”
Remus shoves him and laughs.
He’s always been a light sleeper, ever since Grayback came. He can still remember it; the creaking of the door, the soft footfalls padding across he carpet. Grayback’s face, the utter hunger that had crossed his face as he whispered, “Look what we have here.”
Remus shudders, pulling the blanket tighter around him. 5 foster houses later and he still couldn’t get Grayback out of his head, erase the feeling of fingers and knives and choking. The scars never faded either, another mark that Grayback had left.
He’s not quite sure what it is - the light is down, barely enough to be noticeable. Remus turns in his bed, searching the dark room for the light.
His gaze falls on Sirius; he was obviously on his phone under the covers, the thick blanket not enough to hide the greenish glow emitting from the screen. His back was facing Remus, hair spread out against the pillow; Remus could see his chest rising and falling in time with his breaths.
God he loved Sirius, more then he had loved anything in his life. He still remembers the exact moment; lying on the ground, blood gushing from his nose, Sirius’s face pale and white above him. There were two boys who were taunting him, calling him all sorts of names. It shouldn’t have bothered Remus but it did, bothered him enough that he snapped, all fists and snaps and a red haze.
Afterwards he lay on the ground, his nose gushing blood, Sirius’ hand so tight on his.
“Why?” Sirius whispered - his hands were shaking. “Why did you - “
Remus looked at him and it clicked, that word he had been searching for and forgotten, that tiny voice in the back of his head. Because I love you.
Remus takes a deep breath now, lets it go in a steady steam. He turns around in bed, pulling the blankets with him, tries to stop the trembling.
He never used to be afraid of the dark. It was only After, when every shadow looked like Him, when just the mere feeling of sheets against his legs made him want to throw up. There was always a light in his room; a candle, a lamp, the bathroom switch flicked on and the door half-closed. Always something, that prevented the room from turning into pure darkness, too similar being knocked unconscious.
Remus shakes his head quickly. He can’t - not right now, can’t deal with all the memories swirling around in his subconscious. The walls were starting to close around him, and he could breathe -
With a soft curse, Remus shrugs the covers back and sits up. The stone is cold against his feet - he swears again, before crossing the room to Sirius’ bed. He taps him lightly, with one finger. “Sirius?”
There’s a muffled “Fuck!” and Sirius pokes his head out. His cheeks are flushed, eyes bright, and Remus was about to sit on the bed when -
“Are you watching porn?” Remus asks.
Sirius flushes - even in the dim light Remus can see the red rise in his cheeks. “No!”
“Your cheeks are flushed. You look like you’ve just been - “
“No,” Sirius says. “Filters. Remember that, Re? It means perhaps reconsidering what stupid thing you were going to say, and then not saying it.”
“Bullshit,” Remus says; he can still see the glowing surface of the phone screen. “You were totally up to something. Let me see.”
Remus makes a wild lunge for it; Sirius immediately rolls back, protecting the phone with his body. They go back and forth for a bit, all elbows and knees and even teeth - Sirius bites Remus viciously on the shoulder.
“Shut up. That’s barely a love bite.”
“Hopefully it’ll go purple.”
Remus glowers at him, then launches himself forward. He manages to grab Sirius’ phone, fastening his fingers through the popsocket. The phone had long since turned off but Remus doesn’t bother - he enters in Sirius’ password. “Okay, here I - “
“Oh god, Sirius says; he bucks wildly but Remus refuses to let him go. “Don’t - don’t look - “
Remus stares at the open Tumblr page. “Oh. Whoops.”
Sirius drops his hands in his head. “Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck - “
Remus shakes his head - he’s too entrenched in the fic. He pauses at a sentence. “Jesus Christ, Sirius, this is beautiful. Listen; Love is like a fire. Even as it burns it needs more, more and more wood until finally you run out. And once that happens, you’re screwed. Better take your chances and jump.” He looks at Sirius, his grin so wide he thinks his cheeks might have exploded. “Dude, this is amazing, what’s your blog - “
Remus pulls the top notification down, stares at the most of names that had helped them all in the past. “What the fuck?
“No.” Remus practically drops the phone, his eyes wide and clear. “You’re kidding.”
“You’re @siriusly-over-it?”
