#smirnoff

[ilovemesomevincentprice]

Bringing back a fave.

Vincent Price holding a black cat in a vintage 1950s Smirnoff ad

[nicocota]

1955. Vincent Price for Smirnoff

Shot by Bert Stern.

[cybeerangel]

[chillinwithbyler]

Trying to cure my boredom

[drunkonduty]

Tested a new brush

[orion-mf]

[nonscathingbullets]

Помогу тебе справиться

(Help you through)

Alexei x Fem!Hopper!Reader

⚠️Warning: Death of a major character.⚠️

(Apologies for any errors! All Russian is from Google translate.)

Anon request!

You came to on the floor in a small console room, unsure of where you were.

As you leaned up and placed a hand on your throbbing head, you saw Joyce clad in a Russian military uniform in front of a big glass room housing a giant metal machine.

Oh, right.

You remembered, looking down at your own duds Murray made you wear so you could sneak passed the Russians and get to the machine they were using to open a another gate.

"Uugh," you groaned. "Fucking soldier packed a punch."

"Stop! Stay where you are!" Joyce commanded at you as she tied some cloth from her uniform to a key on one side of the console, while she held the other firmly.

"Joyce..." you stood up and began making your way over to the glass barrier between you two and the machine. "Where's Hopper? What's going on?" You questioned warily.

"Please. Please don't look," she pleaded as tears welled up in her eyes.

Why would she be crying?

You peeked through the glass, seeing your brother's bloody face as he looks back up at the two of you.

Then it hit you. You became all too sober of what was unfolding before you. All of you.

"No!!! Joyce no!! Get him out of there!" You screamed as you began beating on the glass. "Jim! Please Jim!!"

He simply smiled at the both of you before giving a final, solemn nod.

Joyce nodded back and turned both keys.

The silence was defining for a beat, and then the machine caught fire and began ripping itself apart.

Spotting Murray make his way into veiw, Joyce shoved you towards him.

"Take her to Alexei and get them both out of here, then meet we'll find the kids."

Murray dragged your screaming, flailing body to the back exit where Alexei was waiting near the car.

Alexei appeared confused at you hysterical state, but quickly took you from Murray, who gently pushed you into his arms.

"Немедленно уведите её отсюда!"(Get her out of here now!) He ordered.

Alexei wrapped his arms around you as you sobbed uncontrollably into his chest.

He looked back at Murray, still unclear as to what was happening.

"Хорошо, но что же происходит?"(Okay, but what is happening?) Alexei asked, trying to get a better grasp on the situation.

"Jesus Christ! Я думал, ты умная! Просто уходи!"(I thought you were smart! Just go!)

Alexei wasted no more time, gently helping you into the passenger seat and buckling you up before hopping in and tearing off down the road.

He drove aimlessly, stealing glances at your tear stricken face.

You weren't your usual chipper self that he came to adore over the past couple of days.

That's when it clicked.

It had to be Hopper. He must not have survived the explosion. That would definitely explain your previous and current behavior.

He inhaled deeply and let his breath out slowly, placing a tender hand on your leg and stroking his thumb over it gently in an attempt to comfort you.

You didn't move. Didn't even look up.

Your tears had finally vanished and now you were sitting under a still cloak of silence.

Alexei pulled over on a quiet backroad and cut the engine before sitting in the backseat of the car, bringing you with him.

"Uhm..." you trailed off, confused about what he was doing.

"Мне очень жаль Hopper,"(I'm sorry about Hopper) he murmured, holding onto your hands.

You didn't really know how to speak Russian, but you did understand your brother's name.

Was he trying to express condolences?

That was the only thing that could've made sense given the context.

"Oh. It's alright, Alexei. You couldn't have known..." You trailed off, looking out into the trees you were parked beside.

"Эй, посмотри на меня,"(Hey, look at me) he spoke softly, moving your face back around with his hand so that you were looking him in the eyes. "Идите сюда."(Come here.)

You tilted your head, not understanding. That was, until he pulled you into his arms snuggly.

You let out sigh as if releasing this huge weight you had been carrying and layed your head against his collarbone, enjoying the warmth enveloping you.

Then, out of nowhere, another sob tore through you.

Alexei rubbed your back soothingly as he sang something unfamiliar in Russian.

It was oddly calming to you.

You weren't sure how much time had passed, but soon you found yourself with your back pressed against Alexei's chest as he held out a paper with a bunch of sketches and what appeared to be formulas scribbled all over it.

"Man, first Russian, now Mathematics? Where does it end?" You whined.

He chuckled softly at your reaction before shaking his head.

"Нет, нет. Это не математика."(No, no. It's not math.)

He flipped the paper over to the blank side and took a pencil, drawing a quick little picture of a burger with a smiley face on it before handing it to you.

"Твоя очередь."(Your turn.)

You giggled, taking the pencil and drawing a picture of a 7/11 slurpee with a terrified look on its face making Alexei laugh.

This went on for a while with the two of you taking turns seeing if you could each draw something that woukd make the other person laugh.

Before you knew it, you were falling asleep on Alexei's shoulder.

He took a small blanket that was sitting in the floorboard and draped it over you, wrapping his arms around you protectively.

"Не волнуйся, дорогая. Я никуда не уйду. Я буду рядом и помогу тебе справиться со всем этим,"(Don't be worried sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere. I will be here to help you through it) he whispered as he placed a small kiss on the top of your head.

[thegikitiki]

Nothing says "romance" like sitting inside a giant piece of farm equipment. The ad claims they are "ordinary couples doing an extraordinarily refreshing thing," which is just code for "we found a tractor tire and decided to drink vodka in it." The drink is called "The Machete," presumably because it carves through your inhibitions (and maybe your stomach lining with that pineapple juice mix). "Smirnoff leaves you breathless", mostly because you're crushed by the tire.

Source: Esquire Magazine, August 1973