Context: Random thoughts on Ushijima as your childhood best friend. Friends to lovers
Ushijima who has liked you since kindergarten. His dad thought it was only a puppy crush and didn’t pay too much mind to it since he thought it would eventually go away once he grew up (It didn’t).
Ushijima father was shocked when he saw his son holding hands with someone’s daughter at the playground. She was eating a lollipop, staring at it like it was the most interesting thing in the world while his son stared with bright big eyes, slightly red cheeks and biggest smile in the world.
Ushijima who saw you were the prettiest girl in the world and has developed a crush on you since kindergarten. He drowned himself in fairytales, daydreamed and drew his thoughts, that being him as the prince and you as the princess that needed recusing. He drew it after much consideration and decided to give to you it as a birthday gift.
Ushijima who got you a lollipop and drawing as a gift, he intended them as offerings to confess, but standing face to face with you got him all shy and words died up in his mouth .
Ushijima who finally gather up all his courage to confess but you couldn't understand. Despite his words being straightforward “I like you", you couldn’t comprehend his words or actions, but you knew candy, and it is delicious so you took his offerings anyways “Yummy, thanks!”.
Ushijima who didn’t think much and thought you and him were together officially since you accepted his gift offering.
Ushijima’s dad was shocked to see he brought a friend home, a little girl from daycare home to play in the front yard. His dad’s mouth hung open in disbelief. He couldn’t quite put his shock into words.. “Kids these days they grow up too fast. Or am I living too slow?” Or “I raised a gentleman” after seeing how much he cared for you.
(His dad also started to welcome you home more often, inviting you to dinner and coming over to hang out with his son.)
You who weren't good at remembering things, so you couldn’t remember much in pre school. Your memories start as soon as elementary. All you knew was there was this boy who spawned in your life and has never left since kindergarten. But he was nice and caring so you didn’t mind his presence.
You also found out he just yaps a lot around you specifically, and finds it endearing. He talks a lot but it isn’t annoying, instead you found his bluntness funny at times.
Ushijima who would always walk you home, and would even dare to be late to practices to walk you home (or at least to the bus station if you insist that you could go home by yourself).
He would walk you home then run back to school or sometimes ask you to stay during volleyball practices.
You didn’t mind staying behind to wait for him. You often found yourself dosing off and waking up while he was piggybacking you home actually. (This continued all the was up to high school)
Ushijima was famous for his strength at a young age. And once, he spiked so hard that the ball flew off course and went straight to your face.
Ushijima genuinely thought he had killed you because the hit was pretty hard, and it made you lay there like you were unconscious. Internally, he was panicking. He thought this was the end and you’re breaking up with him. He immediately rushed over to check your condition while silently blaming himself for hitting so hard.
He was only assured when you started moving again and laughed at the situation while continuously assuring him since he looked really sad and remorseful. (He started practicing his spike control a lot more since he didn’t want that to happen again).
You who started going to his volleyball matches since elementary and found it interesting. Every time he scores. especially a hard one (triple blockers, scoring while his form was still crumbling, surprising the team by using right hand, you name it), he would immediately look for you in a crowd and you only continue playing once you gave him a nod or thumbs up or something like a signal of approval.
Ushijima who was strong and healthy most his life, so when he does get sick, it means the fever is really bad and he just dies immediately.
You remember visiting him after school to give him get better cards from his teammates and classmates, he insists that he could sit up but you told him he should just rest and he immediately complied.
You read him all the letter people sent and even helped writing his thank you letter to everyone that day. You could tell the fever was bad since he kept looking at the ceiling while squinting his eyes, trying to think of words. The fever was so bad that he could only see and see blurry lines.
Then, you fed him soup and medicine that his dad left behind before work, tugged him to bed and went home. (He takes 3-4 days to recover average)
In high school, volleyball started getting really competitive and he would always stay behind after school to practice. It was also during this time that you realized he was changing. (Or something inside you were changing).
His shoulders were broader and he looked more reliable than ever, but most noticeably, his features were getting more defined. In middle school, you could sometimes see his ears go red whenever he gets a compliment thanks from nice old ladies for helping with carrying their groceries bags, but it slowly disappeared once he started high school. Now he just nods.
You started developing feelings for him during high school too an, saw signs that he reciprocated the same sentiment. He would buy stuff for you from the cafeteria or vending machine, stuffing your mouth with food, insisting that you should eat more (He did this in middle school occasionally), while stroking your cheek (now this, THIS is something He didn’t do this before high school, was he getting more bold? I wonder who taught him)
Ushijima has spare hair ties in his bag since he knows you would sometimes forget your own and learned how to tie your hair up for you.
Piggy backs home from practice upgrade to princess carry and then there was the occasional flowers every month, complying to your wishes without much thought.
These made you confused, you guys weren’t a thing (you guys were, for Ushijima) his teammates asked who you were and he would always casually say you were together, proud and clear. So Tendou gave him tips about how to keep this relationship stable.
Actually he was always this caring since kindergarten, but things just got more prominent as high school came, thanks to the help of Tendou, Ushijima acted more boyfriend like, instead of a best friend.
Sometimes you guys would plan a two people hangout, and you did it once more today. You were confused with Ushijima during this time and internally panicked so you also invited Tendou to tag along to the amusement park trip without thinking.
On the day of the hangout, you found Ushijima getting even bolder. You caught him inhaling the scent your hair, putting hands on your side to keep you from being lost, looking at you with those eyes. And to make things more confusing, during important parts, Tendou would disappear among the crowds.
The whole day was awkward, at least for you it was, and on the last stop, Tendou disappeared once more. “You guys go ahead, im afraid of heights.” Tendou chirped as he happily pushed you guys onto the ferris wheel.
You were quiet the whole ride, and to top it off, Ushijima looked hella good today, especially under the radiance of the sunset. “Damn it” you quietly mumbled.
“Are you alright? You’ve been awful quiet” Ushijima said as he looked at you, voice laced with concern. There it is, that expression that eye contact and especially the look in his eyes. The face that never makes your heart flutter every time.
Looking at him now would only complicate the situation more so you started panicking and tried looked anywhere, everywhere but him.
“Y-yeah im fine its just-” Before you could finish your sentence, he placed his hand on your forehead, checking for temperature and the words died in your throat actually.
“You’re red. Are you really fine?” He looks at you while squinting his eyes. Which made you panicked and quickly slapped his hands off and stood up to a level that he couldn’t touch your face.
Now this is just unfair, your panic wasn’t completely unreasonable and uncalled for but it made you feel bad about yourself. A confusion and shock now display on his face. He squints his eyes slightly like he was thinking something. You don’t know what he is thinking but he was probably shock and hurt.
“I- sorry- It’s just” You panicked and sat back down with your hands covering your face.
“I don’t know how to feel these past few days.” You started “You’re making me confused every time you look at he with those eyes!”
“What eyes?” Ushijima said as he slowly cups your hand as he slowly guides it off from your face.
“THOSE!” You said as you once more panicked.
”Ushijima Wakatoshi, you’ve made me VERY confused with MY. FEELINGS. Sometimes, I FEEL like you act like MY BOYFRIEND, but then you’ve been my friend for WHO KNOWS HOW LONG, I CAN’T TELL IF I’M LOSING MY MIND OR IF YOU’RE JUST MESSING WITH ME.
Ive tried to calm down, and tell myself, ‘No, he’s just your friend, you’re overthinking,’ but then BAM you say something that makes me think, Wait. Is he?? Is he actually into me. LIKE WHAT?!?!?
Im tired! You’ve blurred the line of our relationship and I’m tired of pretending it doesn’t affect- IN WHICH A LOT.
WAKATOSHI, I- I THINK I LIKE YOU, A LOT”
.
.
.
Silence.
You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, and he just stares at you.
“Sorry-“ You quickly murmured, misreading the silence as rejection.
”Wait, sorry I’m just shocked.” Ushijima quickly assured “I thought we were already a thing.”
“Huh?” You looked at him with confusion.
-
Turns out Ushijima genuinely thought you were dating ever since preschool.
“Remember that candy I gave you? I that was my offerings for you to be my girlfriend.” He started talking about how happy he was that day, and he thought of 1000 scenarios of him meeting you and getting approval from your parents already.
This made you laugh out loud. You couldn’t believe it, Ushijima was really a dork.
“I guess it can’t be helped, but I noticed how you were really down today so I bought the same candy as I did that day.” He admitted as he gave you the lollipop
“Come to think of it, we were still kids back then, and I didn’t know a thing about, like… love or relationships. All I knew was that you were the prettiest girl in the world, so I confessed immediately.”
He paused, eyes softer now.
“But as days went by, I found myself falling harder for you. I like how you laugh, how you talk, how you look, how you treat others, how you treat me… and a million more things I could say. Everything about you amazes me.”
Then he looked straight at you.
“So this time… I want to confess again. Not to the prettiest girl in the world, but to you. Just you. The real you.”
“I like you, Y/N, would you like to be my girlfriend and make it official?”
Aren’t you the luckiest girl in the world right now?
hey. someone tell the universe to make this happen to me. thanks.
Summary: Ushijima has a little crush on a girl who shares his favorite coffee shop
Warnings: none, fluff
Everyday before practice, Ushijima would pick up his iced americano from the cafe down the street.
And everyday he would see you, sitting by the window with your own drink between your hands. Eyes bouncing around the coffee shop before finally settling on him, and giving him the little smile and wave he so eagerly looked forward to each morning.
Your smile made your eyes upturn slightly, bright and awake even in the early hours of the day. He loved that about you, and it helped him stay motivated to get to practice early. Ushijima tried his best to notice every little detail about you in the moments you blessed him with those waves, tucking the details into the back of his brain forever.
Like the freckles that speckled across parts of your face, the dimples on your cheeks and the tiny crinkles by your eyes that appeared when you gave him a soft smile. Like your collar bones tempting him from just above the neckline of your sweater. Or your tiny hands that barely made it around the mug of whatever it was you drank every morning.
Ushijima swallowed roughly, returning your greeting before quickly turning out of the cafe and trying to conceal the grin breaking its way across his lips.
It was business as usual for Ushijima the next few days, only seeing you briefly in the cafe before rushing off to practice- but thoughts of you stayed with him. Long hours of workouts were passed in seconds as he imagined you standing next to him in the gym. Watching, with him the center of your attention. Even winning matches felt bitter sweet, because he could so easily picture you on the sidelines, running into his open arms to congratulate him on a job well done.
But unfortunately, Ushijima’s one major shortcoming was communication. His teammates even referred to him as a “volleyball idiot”, whatever that was.
Sometimes he would give you a small “hello” or “good morning”, but your conversation never went further than that. It was pure torture. He was confident that if you had only been introduced properly that things would be different, but Ushijima knew that he was only a stranger in the cafe to you.
“It would not be polite to disturb her peace or approach her against her will.”
“Dude. Just say hi, it’s not that weird!”
Hoshiumi honestly could not believe his ears. Not only was Ushijima chatting up a storm instead of warming up, but he was talking about a girl. Ushijima was hardly ever interested in something that had nothing to do with volleyball, and as far as Hoshiumi knew, girls were certainly never on his radar before now…
“We exchange greetings all the time, that’s not the issue-”
“Ask her what her coffee order is.” Kageyama cut in with a surprisingly normal answer, and now Hoshiumi was sure that he had woken up in another dimension this morning.
“I didn’t know you were good at this sort of thing. Thank you.” Rising to his full height and turning towards the court with a newfound energy, Ushijima had found his answer. And two days later, on a Thursday morning, the opportunity arose.
You were a bit later than usual in arriving at the cafe, and today you were in line directly behind Ushijima at the counter. He took a deep breath, willing the buzzing in his brain to silence itself as he turned to face you.
If he hadn’t just taken a breath, he certainly would’ve choked on the next one. You were gorgeous up close, and he was overcome with the urge to stare. Getting himself under some semblance of control, he bowed softly and muttered a soft “good morning, how are you”. Your eyes followed his the entire time, and he realized how much shorter you were. Your neck tilted back to raise your face to his, lips just loosening a breath, before you quickly returned his bow and greeting.
“What’s your coffee order?” Shit, did that sound weird? It certainly felt weird.
“I get a flat white!” Her smile is so cute… What the hell is a flat white?
“I can’t say I'm familiar with-”
“What can I get for you today sir?” Without even thinking, Ushijima answered the cashier.
“Two flat whites please.”
You were clearly taken aback, but Ushijima thought your flustered reaction was so sweet. That tiny blush creeping across your nose made the initial awkwardness more than worth it. And Ushijima promised himself in that split second that he would see that blush again, somehow.
“O-oh I didn’t say that to make you buy my coffee! Thank you so much but I-”
“It was my pleasure. I have a few extra minutes this morning if you’d like to sit with me?” Oh, if Kageyama could see him now.
Your conversation was short because of his morning practice, but Ushijima finally got your name and your number, which was far more than he ever could have expected for your first real interaction. And as he got up to leave and say his goodbyes, he remembered the little promise he made to himself.
“I hope you’ll continue to let me do this in the mornings, have a good day”
And that adorable blush graced his view once more as you nodded in shy agreement.
ushijima washing his s/o's hair in the shower bcs yes
Because yes.
This is just a drabble anon and the reader is gender neutral. Thanks for requesting domestic Ushijima!
* * * * *
“Hmm,” Letting out a hum, Ushijima continues massaging your scalp. “Your hands feel so good Toshi.” His fingers raked against your head, moving locks of h/c away from your forehead.
“Your hair is soft.” Ushijima says while squirting more shampoo into his palm. Soon his hands are back in your hair, rubbing the shampoo into your scalp like before. “It feels nice against my hands.” You could feel his calloused palms against your head but you didn’t care.
Tilting your head back more so you could look at him, you laugh. “Your hands feel nice against my head.”
“Hmm,” Ushijima leans forward so his face is hardly an inch away from yours. Closing the gap, you lift your head so your nose is against his. Staying like that for a few moments, you smile when Ushijima connects your lips. “Love you.”
the life of your dreams [ushijima wakatoshi x reader]
pairing: ushijima wakatoshi x fem reader
genre: fluff with angst if you look under a microscope; modern day royal au
warning(s): suggestive themes, like two swear words if I counted right pfft
word count: 2.4k
overview: everyone would kill to be in your position: set to be married into a royal family and become the new princess of a faraway kingdom. well, everyone but you, that is.
notes: a special piece for ushiwaka on his birthday, but he deserves love all the time :)
The sounds of laughter and chatter, lilting ballroom music, and endless congratulations ring in your ears like a distant memory. Sitting outside in the humid air, you let the hum of cicadas overtake you and silence your mind. Underneath the heel of your sleek, black stiletto, you roll a small piece of gravel back and forth with a crunch. Your hands covered with silky, black gloves absentmindedly clutch onto one another tightly--a nervous habit of yours that your mother had warned made you appear standoffish at times.
Sitting outside of a regal estate, filled to the brim with luxurious furniture, prized artifacts, and countless paintings of quaint things--like the countryside on a sunny day or women picking flowers in fields--you couldn’t be unhappier with your situation. In the warm glow of the lanterns dotting the path nearby, the large diamond perched atop your left ring finger made itself known once again. You’re surprised you’ve gone this long without noticing it, seeing as it adores being the center of attention.
You want nothing more than to shun it. To throw it into the fountain less than twenty feet away and be done with it all. But the uproar that would create would be catastrophic, and you’d find yourself the subject of many scathing articles questioning the integrity of your engagement to your royal fiancé and the righteousness of your morals.
It was all too much. The constant attention. The schedule packed with a different, public appearance or frivolous event every hour, it seemed. The disgustingly sweet lies you barely choked out in response to those fed to you by your soon-to-be husband.
You could no longer stand to listen to anyone murmur their feelings of anguish and envy, saying how much they wished that they were living in your dream of a life. But, little did they know that their dream is your nightmare.
How can you possibly be happy when you wake up beside someone in the mornings you don’t love? How can you be content knowing all the acts of affection between the two of you are staged? Knowing that you’re nothing more than a charity case to this entire royal family? Realizing that nothing you’ve done for the past four months has been done of your own, free will?
Taking a deep breath, you reluctantly rise from the bench you’d spent the last half hour sitting on, pulling yourself together. Your (e/c) eyes wander over the posh exterior of the extravagant estate before your feet slowly bring you down the path back to the door.
The sound of your heels clicking against the marble flooring feels deafening, given the stark silence that has befallen the house. Nobody's around save for a few maids lightly dusting the precious treasures the royal family owns. It’s late at night, so you expect everyone to be asleep aside from the seemingly restless crew of butlers and servants.
When you make your way back to the quarters you share with your fiancé, however, you remember that many things can happen under the cover of the night. Your hand freezes in its journey towards the handle when you hear loud, muffled moans echoing from behind the polished, wooden door. Clear as day, you hear your prince murmuring praises, presumably while performing acts that are reaping sounds of pleasure from a woman’s mouth--probably the one you'd noticed him ogling at your event earlier whenever the two of you weren’t flocked by family or other attendees interested in all the fleshy details of your engagement.
As the realization that your future husband is cheating on you right under your nose sets in, your blood starts to boil. Heat courses through your entire body as your emotions start to take hold.
You’re not feeling upset. Or betrayed. You’re livid.
It’s not the infidelity that brings you over the edge. No. It’s the fact that while you’re here, suffering beneath the burdens of having an impending wedding to a man you are far from loving, he’s still getting what he wants.
That's when you snap and everything that’s been holding you back shatters. The opinions of high society that have kept you bound to him. The refusal of your parents to let you break off the engagement because of their own selfish wishes to be rich and famous. The feeling that you could maybe, possibly love him after years of being worn down and living overseas.
In an instant, it’s all gone; and the only thought in your mind now is, Damn it, I want to be happy.
Your first act of unshackling the chains that had been trapping you is reaching down to slide off your beautiful, but wickedly uncomfortable, stilettos. Once they’re off, you’re able sneak away in silence to find a butler who’s willing to fetch you a coat and keys to your car. It’s not a bad-looking vehicle by any means, but it’s been shoved away in the garage, you find, to avoid being spotted by any of the rich and pretentious who only arrive in limos filled with champagne and drive a Rolls Royce whenever they absolutely must shoulder the burden of driving themselves.
The butler asked no questions and swore himself to secrecy--though you’re sure the hundred-dollar bill you’d slapped in his hand had zipped his mouth right shut. Tossing your shoes onto the passenger seat and sticking the key in the ignition, you drive away from your sickening life with the royals to find the only person you’ve ever wanted and need now more than ever.
You’re not in the most inconspicuous of outfits, so you tie the belt of your long coat tightly around your form as you exit your car once you reach your destination. The arch of your foot throbs with indignation as you step into your heels once more, but you’re able to ignore it knowing that you’re at the only place you could ever ask to be. Pale, fluorescent lighting beats down on your form from above as you walk through the hallways of the apartment complex.
With no hesitation, you knock on one of the doors and wait with bated breath. The lock clicks and the door opens moments later to reveal a tall man whose familiar, olive eyes set on your figure with an intense stare. His silence reveals his shock at seeing you--the woman he was forced to give up, but whose heart he still held.
“Wakatoshi...” you utter softly, (e/c) eyes finding his gaze as your heart begins racing in your chest, “I won’t do it anymore.”
He wordlessly steps aside, allowing you into his apartment so you can talk in a more private setting. The last thing he wants is for a nosy neighbor to see a future princess visiting a man who isn’t her fiancé at such a late hour and tip off the press.
“(F/n), what are you saying?” he asks, his fingers raking through his slightly messy, dark hair. His eyebrows are furrowed ever so slightly in an emotion that could be confusion, irritation, or both, for that matter.
You untie the belt of your coat, which he slides off your shoulders for you, revealing the beautiful, evening dress you wore beneath. Its shimmering material composed of green and blue hues cascade down every curve of your body, into a pool of emerald at your feet. It takes every fiber of his being not to reach out and touch you to make sure you’re not just a manifestation of his yearning for you.
Tears quickly spring to your eyes as you answer, “I refuse to do it. I won’t marry him. I can’t.”
He shakes his head. “Your family won’t be happy if you back out.”
“Fuck that!” you cry as you kick off your shoes, bringing yourself a few inches further away from his face, “I want to be happy! This is my life, and I'm not going to spend it with some cheating prince who doesn’t even give a shit about me just to keep the peace!”
Silence befalls the apartment that’s only broken by your loud sniffle. You lift your hands to your face to wipe away your tears, but he soon takes over the job for you. Tenderly, he cups the side of your face in his hand, immersing his fingers in your (h/c) locks of hair and using his thumb to collect the droplets that travel down your cheek.
Your breath hitches in your throat at that touch of his that you’d never forgotten and that you’d imagined for the past four months to keep yourself sane. “I never loved him,” you confess, voice strained from the emotions that were overwhelming you all at once, “It’s always been you, Wakatoshi. I’ve only ever loved you this entire time.”
The coldness to his demeanor softens and he moves his face close enough to yours for you to feel his warm breath fanning across your skin. There’s a long moment of silence as you gaze into his dark eyes, in which you see a recognizable flicker of longing. In yours, watery but wide with hope and searing with desire, he sees every moment in his life that he’s ever promised you his love.
He hates asking unnecessary questions, and the strength of your will is enough to keep him from wondering if you’re sure of your decision.
“I’m giving him back the ring tomorrow. After that, I want to be yours.” You press your forehead against his and add, “Can I come over tomorrow evening, so we can go away for a bit?” as you absentmindedly take to tracing the handsome features on his face with your silk-covered fingers.
Your noses are touching now, bringing your lips dangerously close. “There’s no going back from that, you know,” he whispers. You notice the way his fingers press against the back of your head, as if he wants more than anything to lose himself in your affection.
“I know, baby,” you coo, “All this time I’ve spent separated from you has been hell, Wakatoshi. I don’t wanna go back.”
Your words are enough to crumble his resolve, and all thoughts of keeping his feelings hidden in an effort not to meddle in your relationship with the prince leave his mind in an instant.
“I love you, (f/n),” he breathes, closing the gap between your mouths without any hesitation.
The feeling of his lips on yours reminds you of what kisses should feel like. That no matter how soft and gentle, or rough and lustful they are, they should always be meaningful and filled with love. After months of being forced to share performative but empty displays of affection--if you could even call it that--with a prince whom you felt nothing but contempt towards, having Ushijima’s lips against your own felt heavenly.
His other hand moves to your waist, sliding along the sleek fabric of your dress before snaking around your back to pull you closer to him. The sensation of your body flush against his sends tingles down your spine and encourages you to wrap your arms around his neck. You feel weightless, like you’re falling for him all over again, and it’s better than anything you’d experienced since before you’d met your soon-to-be ex-fiancé.
It’s not long before his fingers find the zipper of your dress so that his hands can roam the familiar expanse of your body, free of inhibitions. Your heart flutters in your chest at the softness in his tone as he affirms, “I’ll always love you.”
It’s a promise he presses into every inch of your skin while your back is pressed against the plush comforter of his bed that night, and one he’s clearly intent on keeping.
A blissful visit and a vow to meet the next evening so you can finally be together gives you each enough peace and security to withstand one more day apart. In the yellow light of a lamp on a bedside table in one of the estate’s guest rooms, you stay awake an hour longer to compile your feelings into a letter for the prince. While he’s out and about the next day, completely unbothered by the fact that you hadn’t returned to bed the night before, you enlist the help of the butler you’d bribed in packing up your things.
When night falls once more, and your fiancé is sound asleep after having far too many drinks with his friends, you place your neatly folded letter on his nightstand. Your eyes linger on the glittering diamond once more when you set it gently atop your note. You’d gotten so used to its presence on your finger that it now felt bare without it. But, what was more important was that your heart felt full knowing where you were going from here.
Silently, you leave your chambers for the last time and sneak out to the garage, where your very average chariot awaits, nestled between the wall and the first in a legacy of luxury vehicles that are too outdated to see the sun. In a matter of twenty minutes, you’re back at Ushijima’s front door, filled to the brim with anticipation.
When he opens the door and sees you standing in the hallway, life neatly packed up into nothing more than a suitcase and a duffle bag like you’d never had a home at the estate to begin with, he realizes how much he wants to give you a place where you can finally feel comfortable and secure. Though your face is devoid of any makeup, and you’re wearing a much humbler outfit comprised of a sweater and yoga pants, he still thinks you look just as gorgeous as you did the night before.
“It’s done,” you announce, holding up your left hand to show him your empty finger.
In response, he presses one of those kisses that you could never grow tired of against your lips. After sliding his own duffel bag onto his shoulder, he locks up the apartment and leads you to the garage. Once you’ve moved your car inside, out of public view, you load up his car and sit in the passenger seat with a grin spread across your mouth.
“You ready?” he wonders. You notice him pause in his act of starting up the car to look over at you for approval.
Your hands slide around the sides of his face and you give him another, affectionate peck.
“I’ve been ready for a long time now.”
A smile graces his features as he adds, “So have I.”
As the engine of his car comes to life, so does the excitement in your heart, since you’re finally starting the life of your dreams, rather than that of everyone else’s.
writer’s block is a THING and instead of powering through the royal!au like i should, i listened to this song on repeat and wrote soft, mildly OOC ushijima. do i love this - no, but i do love the idea of a soft ushijima so here it is.
word count. 6.4K
Looking up, way up, your eyes closed as an expression of glee morphed its way onto your face. Your lips pulled into a blinding grin up at him and Ushijima wasn’t sure what was brighter, the setting summer sun or your smile.
It wasn’t obvious to most people but as far as boyfriends go, Ushijima Wakatoshi was at the top of the list. He was attentive, understanding, a bit clueless when it came to some things but willing to admit his mistakes and almost always made up for them. It took some time for the two of you to get together, having class with one another your first and second years of high school. It came as a surprise to most of the school population when the first day of your third year came around and you two were seen walking across campus holding hands.
He had just returned from a weekend trip to another prefecture for a short training camp. You had offered to greet him as he got off the bus so the two of you could grab a quick drink at the cafe down the road before curfew rolled around on campus.
Ushijima had an arm wrapped around your shoulders, holding you close to his chest as he looked down at you with that subtle smile he seemed to have reserved just for moments like this with you. Oblivious to the rest of the team still piling out of the bus behind you.
“Wakatoshi-kun~” The melodic sound of his best friend’s voice came from behind you. You flitted your eyes over to the side to glance at the red head, goofy grin still gracing your features. “(Y/n)-chan, your boyfriend promised to bring me back that purple tea they have!”
“I’ll make sure he remembers, Tendou.” You pocketed the money Tendou had been holding out to you and then returned back to your boyfriend with an expectant look.
Ushijima never used to think that being in a relationship was important. After his parents divorced he certainly never gave thought to it, then you sat next to him on the first day of your first year of high school and he suddenly started thinking about these things a little more.
The feeling had been unfamiliar to him for the first year he knew you. Ushijima performed at the highest level of high school athletics and hardly broke a sweat, but when you looked at him with your bright eyes his palms felt clammy and his neck would get warm. It wasn’t until about halfway through his second year when he brought it up casually to Tendou that he was informed that the feelings he was having were in fact romantic.
You had been surprised but thrilled on the day that you and Ushijima got together. It was awkward at first because you had been sure that he was the one who was confessing to you, but somehow you had done all the talking.
You didn’t mind though, because months later you were sitting at a table in a small cafe sipping on your favorite drink as the dark-haired boy across from you spoke softly about his time away. His olive eyes caught in the light of the setting sun, flashing brightly as he looked down at you when he was describing a part of the weekend that was particularly amusing to him.
-
Even with a professional sports team having their home base in town, it wasn’t every day that you saw someone well over six feet tall wandering around the local market. His height caught your eyes first, but what made you double-take was the familiar look of concentration etched into the handsome features as they debated between what head of lettuce to pick.
“Wakatoshi?”
Few people in his life actually called him by his given name, and even if that weren’t the case he would recognize your voice in a crowd of people. He hadn’t thought about you in some time, but the idea that you were there - right there - was enough to make his normally steady heart flutter just the slightest bit faster than normal.
Ushijima looked down at you, eyes widening ever so slightly when he recognized you. Your hair was different, shorter maybe. He greeted you with a shallow bow of his head. “(Y/n), hello.”
You still had to crane your neck way up to look at him. The smile you flashed up at him, your face pinching in what he hoped was excitement, was a familiar sight for him and he hoped the tingling at the base of his neck wasn’t enough of a blush for you to notice.
“What are the chances, huh?” You adjusted your grip on the shopping basket in your hands, a few of the items shifting around as they were jostled.
“Are you living in Miyagi again?” He asked, setting down the food he had been choosing between to have all his focus on you. Ushijima always gave his full attention to anyone who he was with, so it was a little easier to adjust to his intense gaze since you knew it was coming anyways.
“Oh! Yeah, just last month actually.” You waved absently in the direction of the doors to the store. “My dad needed some help with the house so I put in for a transfer for work.”
Ushijima nodded as he listened, a memory flashing in the back of his mind of being at your childhood home once. You had invited him to the weekly dinner you went home for with your dad, Ushijima remembered how excited you had been for him to join since it was the one thing you looked forward to most weeks. You and Ushijima had bonded early on in your relationship about your parents being divorced, it was how your friendship began in the first place.
“He is still so disorganized about some things, it’s a wonder he even - ah, oh boy.” You chuckled as you interrupted yourself, catching Ushijima shift his weight from one foot to another as he continued to listen to you attentively. “I’m rambling and you definitely have better things to be doing.”
“That’s not true at all.” Ushijima was quick to interject, but not interrupt. His expression was still pretty stoic, but his eyebrows raised just barely enough to animate his face. He looked at you with such honesty, such reverence, you were sure that he really did want to hear everything you had to say.
You continued to smile at him for a beat before reaching out a hand, fingers wrapping around his upper arm with a gentle squeeze. “It is really good to see you, Wakatoshi.”
The feeling of the soft skin of your hand left a sparking sensation to rush up his arm. Ushijima wondered if your heart was beating at the same rate his was, loud and heavy in his ears. He hoped you didn’t notice.
-
You chewed at the inside of your cheek, lips pursed off to the side as you sat on the steps that lead up to your house. Your dad was inside gathering the last of the things you’d need for the trip to move you into your college dorm, allowing you a bit of privacy as you prepared to say goodbye to your boyfriend of almost a year.
“I don’t believe it would be fair to make promises or commitments,” He said, his voice steady, as if he were speaking to his teammates about their next round of drills. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“Disappoint me,” You sniffed a little, the sound almost bitter as you spoke. “You could never disappoint me, Wakatoshi.”
He looked over at you. You sat with your legs pulled up to your chest, arms wrapped around them as your chin rested on your knees. He shifted, enough to make you glance over at him and notice that he was moving to wrap an arm around you to pull you in closer to his side. You leaned into the warmth, head falling into the juncture between his arm and chest.
“I’ll never forgive you for breaking my heart,” You teased, moving to wrap your arms around his thick torso to settle into one last comfortable embrace. He knew you were joking, knowing you well enough to tell when your tone wasn’t too serious, and he let out a soft, breathless chuckle. “But you can make it up to me.”
“And how is that?” He let out a content sigh, rubbing soft circles into your arm.
“Win,” You said plainly. “Make it worth it.”
The simplicity of your request made Ushijima look down at you in adoration, although you didn't notice since your focus was on the cars passing in front of your home. It wasn’t surprising that Ushijima stayed quiet after breaking up with you, he had reached his limit on emotional strain for the day and was content to just sit with you in his arms one last time.
“You can also get me tickets to the olympics,” You added with a sad smile, letting go of the grip you had on his waist and giving the taught muscles on his abdomen a few solid pats.
“I’ll do my best,” He chuckled, actually chuckled, and gave your hair a slight ruffle.
The door behind you opened, revealing your dad as he haphazardly shoved a few papers into his travel bag, pushing his glasses up his nose to get a better look at the two of you. He smiled fondly at Ushijima, obviously having no idea the heartache you were currently going through - mistaking your tears for simply being sad to say goodbye.
Ushijima walked you to the passenger side of your dad’s car, one hand resting on the roof and the other holding the door open as you tossed your bag onto the floor. Neither of you really had it in you to say goodbye, so you settled for a sad smile while Ushijima simply nodded before shutting the door.
Too busy wiping the tears that immediately fell from your eyes, you didn’t notice the way he waited at the front steps of your house until you were completely out of sight. Ushijima had never felt such a pain in his chest like that, but he would tolerate it since he knew it was for the best.
-
“Medium soy latte please, no foam.” You rummaged around in your purse for your wallet, phone in one hand making it more difficult than it needed to be.
“Still avoiding dairy.”
It was more of a statement than a question, but you still whirled around with a flourish at the voice that came from behind you. You knew it, even if you hadn’t run into him just days earlier, you’d always know it.
“Wakatoshi, are you following me?”
He startled back slightly at the joking claim, taking just longer than a moment to catch your smirk before the corner of his mouth curved up ever so slightly. “I’d like to think I would be more subtle.”
Your eyes widened when he retorted, pleasantly surprised that he was playing along. “Toshi, you’re about as subtle as a gorilla, but keep dreaming big guy.”
He let out a soft snort of laughter, glancing back up at the menu before placing his own order with the barista. “And I’ll get hers,” He nodded his head at you to indicate for the cashier.
“You don’t-“
Ushijima held up a hand, dismissing your protests as he handed over a few bills and dropping the remaining change in the tip jar. The two of you moved out of the way of the other customers, standing idly by the pick up area until your orders were called.
“I have a few minutes, do you want to sit and catch up a little?” You asked, blowing on your drink through the small hole in the to-go lid. “If you’re not busy that is!”
Ushijima nodded his head, letting you know he had nothing going on and leading you to a table by the window of the cafe. It was as if muscle memory had taken over his body, one hand guiding you by the lower back to the very same table that the two of you used to sit at as teenagers.
“This brings back memories,” You laughed as you took your seat. Ushijima’s face was blank, not seeming to understand what you meant. “This table? It's the same one we always used to sit at in high school?”
It was like he woke up from a dream, shaking his head slightly at the realization. His eyes widened slightly then his expression shifted into one of more ease, “I didn’t even realize where we were.”
“Classic Wakatoshi,” You joked, taking a sip of your drink but stopping yourself to make a correction. “I shouldn’t say that, you were always very attentive.”
Ushijima twisted around the drink in front of him, not entirely sure what to do with his hands at the moment. His eyes trained on your face, admiring how many of your expressions had stayed the same even though your features had matured. Your eyes still narrowed when you were teasing him, your nose scrunched up when you were thinking.
“How is it being back in Miyagi?” He asked, finally diverting himself away from just staring at you. “I always thought you wanted to get out.”
You sighed with a shrug of your shoulders in an almost noncommittal way, “I did.” You started. “But when dad got sick he needed help… and Kyoto wasn’t really all it was cracked up to be.”
“I didn’t know your dad was sick,” Ushijima said. “I could’ve helped.”
“Wakatoshi, how would you have known?” You half laughed, sending him an admiring smile. “We haven’t talked since high school.”
“...Why is that?” He asked, blunt as always, getting right to the question that he had been wanting to ask for the last few days since running into you again.
“Well,” You paused to take a sip of your drink. “After we broke up, there wasn’t really any reason to talk, you know? I don’t think it would’ve been fair - to either of us.”
Ushijima nodded, having to agree with what you said. A lapse of silence fell over the two of you, but not necessarily something that was uncomfortable. You found yourself admiring him from across the table as he looked out the window of the cafe. The way he had grown into the mature features he always had as a teenager, finally seeming to look his age. His dark hair was a little shorter but still styled as simply as it always had been, his olive eyes alert as they glanced around - landing on you and catching you staring.
“Things are going well for you, Toshi?” You asked. “I haven’t been good about keeping up with volleyball lately.”
He nodded, going into surface-level detail about his volleyball career and what was going on with his team. He appreciated the way your eyes widened and jaw dropped when he told you he was playing on the same team with the setter from Karasuno, a flood of words spilling from your lips as you interrupted him to ask more and more questions. When you seemed satisfied with all the answers, you slumped back into your chair with an awed expression.
“You seem like you are doing well.” Ushijima wasn’t sure what the feeling in his chest was - he was glad to see you looking happy but at the same time he also wanted to know what - or who - was making you happy.
“Yeah, you know I really thought things were going well for a while there.” You said, shrugging your shoulders up to rest your elbows on the table in front of you. Your chin was propped up in yours hands as you gazed at Ushijima, his attention unwavering. “But being back in Miyagi, being here? Things kinda feel better.”
Ushijima had to agree - although he never really left, having gone professional right out of high school for the hometown team. Having run into you the last few days made the stress of his everyday life, the pressure he put on himself, more bearable.
“Uprooting your life couldn’t have been easy.” He said. “I’m sure you left special people behind.”
“Nah,” You shook your head with a slightly crooked smile. “No one important.”
The two of you talked much longer than the spare few minutes you had mentioned having. Before you knew it, the sun was setting outside, street lamps were lit, and the cafe workers were counting the registers. They were too polite to ask you to leave earlier than absolutely necessary, plus they had a bet going over who exactly you were to the professional athlete that had gone to the private school down the road years ago.
You mentioned, offhandedly, that you had been coming to this cafe again after work every day - out of habit from high school or from simply looking for a way to fill the hours of your day. Ushijima took note of that, and after ‘running into him’ at the same time for the third day in a row, you started to look forward to your tomorrows a little bit more.
-
“Semi Eita, did you have to wear a bow tie?” You scolded the boy standing in front of you, his chin raised so that you could better see what you were doing. The silky, pink fabric of said bow tie slipped around in your fingers until you finally managed to get it looking just right.
“Tendou insisted it matched his aesthetic,” Semi’s date, a second year and his sister's best friend, rolled her eyes from her spot next to you. The two of you had matching stances in your dresses, hers a soft pink and yours a deep maroon, both your fists propped against your hips as you continued to scold the third year.
“It was the only thing that would match!” Semi wailed, throwing his hands in the air. “Some of us have to dress up a little more to look good.”
You had to suppress a giggle at his anguish, turning to see how he was pointedly looking at your boyfriend standing a few feet away. Ushijima did dress up nicely, being much bigger than your average high schooler he filled out the suit he wore well. As attentive to detail as he always was, he had made sure to ask you well in advance what color your dress was so that he could get you flowers to match.
“The guy isn’t even wearing a tie and he still looks like a model,” Semi continued to gripe as the group came together again.
“Ties are uncomfortable.” Ushijima responded, earning a deadpanned look from everyone around. Ushijima Wakatoshi may have been raised proper, but if he wasn’t comfortable in a tie he wasn’t going to wear one.
You had to laugh at the reactions of your friends, Tendou joining in with his own howl as he lazily draped an arm over his own date’s shoulders for support. You twisted your own hands around Ushijima’s left arm, beaming up at him as you always did.
This was the third time you’d gone to this dance as dates with Ushijima, the first as a couple, and the last as high school students. You were determined to make as many memories as possible, starting off with an excessive amount of pictures taken before. All the guys had rolled their eyes at your insistence of meeting in front of the dorms before heading over to the gymnasium where the dance was being held, but after a while they had warmed up to the idea of posing in their suits and soon they were requesting more pictures than the girls were.
“(Y/n), let me get one of you and Ushijima!” Semi’s date smiled at you, waving her phone around in her hand. You nodded and tugged on your boyfriend's arm to pull him over to the side where the ivy was twisting its way up the wall and served as a perfect backdrop for a picture.
You shuffled around a little bit, your dress getting caught in the heels of your shoes as you stood in the grass. Ushijima noticed and bent down slightly to grab at the layers of your dress, fluffing and straightening out the fabric so it lay behind you in delicate waves. He glanced up at you from his spot on the grass, kneeling just enough to not get his suit dirty. You had twisted around from where you were facing, reaching an arm back to cup his chin gently, puckering your lips in an air kiss with your eyes closed.
Ushijima twisted his head ever so slightly and pressed a soft, chaste kiss to the palm of your hand before standing up to his full height to stand next to you again. From a few feet away, Semi and his date glanced at one another from behind her phone. The constant movement of the camera shutter flickering was silent, but the actions between Ushijima and you were caught in still moments forever.
-
Ushijima sat on the floor in the middle of his apartment, surrounded by boxes of memories. Everything from old volleyball jerseys to worn coloring books were all jammed into organized boxes, labeled with their contents. He was going through the box labeled high school when he came across a large envelope that looked like it was stuffed as full as it could get.
When he opened the envelope he felt the corners of his mouth twitch ever so slightly. Dozens upon dozens of pictures were stuffed into the envelope, even without looking at many of them Ushijima could feel the memories piling on his brain. Glancing at the clock on the stove in his kitchen, Ushijima realised it was nearing the time when he would need to leave if he wanted to catch you at the coffee shop again.
You had sworn that today you would pay for the drinks, but if he beat you there and was already ordered then there was nothing you could do about it - right?
After changing out of his sweats and into something a little more presentable, Ushijima was almost out the door to be on his way when he glanced back at the pile of memories. His eyes landed on the envelope filled with pictures and made up his mind to grab the one picture he had pulled out and tucked it into his back pocket.
“Ack! Wakatoshi!” You wailed as you shuffled through the front doors of the cafe, cheeks flushed as you pushed your hair out of your eyes. “I was supposed to pay this time!”
He simply chuckled as you dramatically plopped yourself down in the chair across from him and attempted your best glare. Ushijima shuffled around in his own seat, leaning off to the side so he could reach into his pocket and pull out the picture he had brought with him.
“My mom is moving and dropped off some old boxes,” He started, setting the picture on the table and sliding it over to you. “I found this.”
You tilted your head to the side slightly as you took a sip of your drink, shifting your gaze down to look at what he was handing to you. Your eyes widened considerably and you quickly set down your cup to slip the picture out of his hands to get a closer look.
It was a picture from the last dance the two of you went to in high school, a candid moment you hadn’t even known was captured on film until now. You remembered that night perfectly; what the two of you wore, the music that played, the jokes that were made. The longer you stared at the picture the more Ushijima could see your eyes starting to lose a little bit of focus, almost like they were welling up with emotion. He knew there were two things you were looking at in that picture that would make you feel that way: the way you looked down at him as he fixed your dress, and the way he looked up at you as you held his face.
“I…” You started, looking up at Ushijima then back down at the picture, doing your best to snap out of the short daydream you had fallen into. “I uh, didn’t even know about this picture. That was such a fun night.”
“I think it got shuffled around when all of them got printed.” He explained. “There’s a few more from that night too.”
“You have more?” You asked, eyes lighting up significantly.
“There’s a whole package of them,” Ushijima told you. “I can bring them some-”
“No!” You interrupted, catching him off guard. “I mean, yes I want to see them but why don’t we go through them together?”
“Yes,” He nodded, continuing what he was going to say before and not entirely catching what you meant. “I can bring them here next time-”
“Wakatoshi, no.” You chuckled. “I mean together like together, over dinner… or something.”
Ushijima paused, watching you as you lifted your eyebrows expectantly. “That would be nice.” He said, calm and collected as always which was the opposite as you felt when you responded back to him.
“Okay great,” You nodded, sitting up straighter but leaning forward a little bit and narrowing your eyes at Ushijima so he understood what you were about to say actually meant something. “I’m asking you on a date, you know that right?”
Ushijima had not known that, and he really hoped the shock he felt in his stomach was not evident on his face.
Always cool and collected, had you not been studying him so intently these last few days of getting together you might not have noticed the way Ushijima’s jaw clenched ever so slightly or how the very tips of his ears looked just a tiny bit pinker. He nodded slowly, not saying anything as he took a sip of his own drink. You were immediately brought back to that day before your third year of high school when he had asked to meet you to confess his feelings but ended up saying at most five words in total.
You were glad to see that Ushijima Wakatoshi hadn’t changed that much over the years. He still got flustered when you were forward with him.
“I’ll cook,” You added after a few short, silent moments. “I owe you for all the drinks you’ve bought.”
“You don’t-” He started, but cut himself off when you held up a hand to silence him, insisting.
-
Ushijima was not entirely thrilled to hear his good friend tell him he sucked at volleyball. He knew it was with good intentions, and not anything serious, but it still made him stop to think.
Tendou continued to ramble on through the phone, rattling off question after question. “What else is bothering you?” He asked, the background noise of wherever he was coming through the speaker.
“I don’t think anything else is bothering me,” Ushijima said.
“I don’t know if that’s true,” Tendou said in a singsong voice.
“Please help me understand.”
“Well,” Tendou started over the phone again, his voice slightly muffled as he was moving around. “It doesn’t take a genius to know that you still miss her.”
Ushijima froze slightly at the reminder. “Of course I miss her.”
“Wakatoshi-kun,” His friend’s voice was almost scolding at this point. “You made the decision to end things!”
Ushijima stayed silent as Tendou continued to reveal truths about him that he hadn’t even realized were present. He moved to stand up from sitting on the edge of his bed, feeling suddenly restless.
“Do you want to know what I think?”
“Of course,” Ushijima responded truthfully to his friend’s question. He valued his opinion and would have ended the conversation a long time ago if he didn’t.
“I think you have two choices to make,” Tendou said, voice raising slightly at the end. “I think you either need to hop on a train and go to her, OR you need to stop sending flowers and move forward.”
“How di-“
“You are a creature of habit, Wakatoshi-kun.”
Ushijima knew Tendou was right. He wasn’t particularly happy or pleased with the abruptness of it, but knew that in order to be fair to himself and to you that he had to be much more clear about things than he had been.
A week had passed, and while you’d never admit that you were waiting on a certain delivery, you came to find yourself disappointed when one never came.
“No new flowers from the secret admirer?”
You looked over at one of your roommates as she pointedly looked at the empty space on your desk. Since the beginning of the school year, almost every week a new floral arrangement had arrived to be admired by anyone who saw it. They were never big arrangements but they were timely and a constant thing, so it was easy for the new people in your life to take notice.
You brushed it off with an awkward laugh, returning back to reading the magazine in front of you while your roommates chattered on again.
“-mentioned getting tickets to the Rockets game but I don’t feel like spending the money.”
“Who are they playing? If it’s a good game I’ll go.”
“I think the team from Miyagi, the Adlers?”
Your ears perked up at that name.
“Oh yeah!” One of your roommates turned their attention towards you. “(Y/n), doesn’t someone from your high school play for them already? Did you know him? What’s his name…”
“Ushi-something?”
“Ushijima! That’s right.” Your roommate snapped her fingers when the answer came to her. “I hear he’s amazing. Did you know him? You had to have known him.”
“That’d be so cool,” Your other roommate butted in, already searching through her phone for details on the professional game that was a few days away. Not that you were checking. “Would you want to go, that’d be fun to see a familiar face right?”
“Um,” You started, looking over again to the empty space on your desk. You felt that it was a sign. Had the flowers shown up, with their typical message telling you to have a great week but no name telling you who it was from - although you always knew - you might’ve agreed to go. To see him.
But you couldn’t help but think that maybe now was the time to really let go. You didn’t need to see him, he certainly didn’t need to see you.
“Maybe next time?” You finally answered, turning from your empty desk to look at your friends. “I’m going to be swamped with work and homework, so I should probably lay low this weekend.”
“Ugh I know,” Your roommate dramatically flopped onto her bed and began a long rant about how much her professors were piling on.
Your avoidance of their questions was soon forgotten and even you managed to stop thinking about your high school boyfriend - you were moving on.
-
You quickly set down the spoon you were using to stir the meal on the stove when you heard the sound of knocking on your apartment door. Slightly flustered, you did your best to brush the hair away from your face and took in a deep breath before opening the door to a waiting Ushijima.
“Hi,” You greeted, slightly breathless.
“Hello,” He responded. After a moment of staring at one another, you stepped to the side to let him in, motioning through the doorway with your hand.
You happened to glance down and see that he was holding something in both hands. One had what looked to be a very stuffed envelope and you assumed those were the pictures he had been talking about a few days earlier. The other hand was extending towards you, a slightly jerking motion as if he just remembered what he was holding when Ushijima saw you looking down.
“These are for you,” He held out the small bouquet. It was mostly greenery with just a few flowers in the middle. It was very simple and very beautiful, something that you wouldn’t just notice off the street but definitely something you had to search for.
“Oh!” You smiled, pleasantly surprised at the gesture. “You didn’t-”
“This is a date, right?” He said, actually interrupting you which was very out of character for him. “I always got you flowers on our dates. This just seemed… appropriate.”
Your smile softened at the thought, remembering back to your time in high school and how the desk in your dorm room third year was never without some kind of floral arrangement for the entire year that you were together. “It’s beautiful,” You told him, beaming up at him and catching his gaze. “Let me go put it in some water.”
Ushijima followed you through your home, noting the subtle decorations that he knew mirrored your personality so well. You ended up not living too far away from where he was currently living, so it was a wonder the two of you hadn’t run into one another sooner than just a week ago.
“Dinner is almost ready,” You said as you set the arrangement on the edge of a window, a place where you could admire it every day. “I tried to make it less spicy than normal, I just couldn’t remember if you liked spice or not-”
You continued to ramble on, whether from nerves or just to fill what would otherwise be silence. Ushijima didn’t mind though, your endless commentary was almost soothing to him as he sat on one of the barstools at the counter in the middle of your kitchen. You offered him a drink and poured one for yourself as well, sliding the glass over to him and cheersing them together.
“I’m really glad you came over, Toshi.” You grinned, leaning forward against the countertop as the food simmered behind you. Resting on your elbows, you played with the glass in front of you to keep your jittery hands busy.
“I am too,” Ushijima responded, taking a moment to glance down at his own hands before looking back up at you. “I was actually very surprised when you asked me to come over.”
You made a confused face, jerking your head back slightly in reaction. “Why would you be surprised?”
Ushijima shrugged, an uncharacteristic sign of him not really being sure. “We hadn’t talked in so long-.”
“Are we just ignoring all the meetings at the cafe?” You laughed, taking a small sip of your drink and smirking at him over your glass.
“No, I suppose not.” He said. “After everything that happened, I just assumed you wouldn’t want anything to do with me again.”
You sighed as you stood up a little straighter, lips pursing off to the side as you thought through how you wanted to respond to him. You’d been imagining this moment since long before you ran into Ushijima in the supermarket that day.
“Toshi…” You started, pausing to make sure he was looking at you as you spoke. You had a feeling that you wouldn’t be able to work yourself up to say these things again, so you wanted to make it count. “You were… my great romance. The love of my life… I can’t imagine a life where I want nothing to do with you.”
Ushijima stared at you, processing the words you spoke in his mind. The moment seemed to stretch and you started to feel as if you’d maybe said too much, that you had maybe overstepped the boundary and all the recent time you had spent together wasn’t as you had felt it was.
“That was too much,” You said, hoping you weren't cringing as much on the outside as you were feeling on the inside. “I’m sorry, I just kind of felt-”
“(Y/n),” He stopped your rambling. You looked up, afraid to meet his gaze but knowing you had to. “This last week has been very nice being with you again.”
“Why do I feel like there is a but coming,” You sighed, getting over your mild embarrassment but still feeling like something in the pit of your stomach was about to drop.
Ushijima actually chuckled at that, “But.” He almost exaggerated the word as he set his hands palms facing down the countertop before him. The look he gave you was serious and made you straighten your back, unable to turn away from him or his olive gaze. “I want things to be clear where we stand.”
“Right,” You nodded. “I totally understand, I overstep-”
“I’d like to give this another shot.”
The two of you had spoken at the same time so it took your mind a moment to register what all he had actually said. You startled slightly, your head tilting and eyes widening significantly as he looked at you with his very typical calm and collected demeanor. Your mouth opened and closed a few times as you tried to process and think of the right thing to say back to him in your surprised state.
“I thought you didn’t want to make promises,” You remembered the words he once spoke to you, the first time you’d gotten your heart broken. “Or commitments outside of volleyball.”
“I never meant any of that.” He said, his tone confident, as if you should have always known he felt that way. “I do not like leaving things unfinished and I feel as though this past week has told me that you and I are not finished.”
You had to contain the beaming smile that was threatening to split your face and instead looked at Ushijima before you with a slightly teasing smirk. “Wakatoshi, you are being very romantic right now. I’m not sure how to handle it.”
“I remember you appreciating subtle gestures of romance,” He looked down away from you as he smiled softly. The gentleness of it all made you have to bite down on your lip to hold in the squeal of glee you’d otherwise let out. “I hope I’m not being too forward with this.”
“Not at all,” You answered confidently.
The two of you stood in a comfortable silence for a short while after that, the familiarity returning as you gazed at one another - both lost in your own minds and not knowing you were feeling and thinking the same thing. That you were falling again, quickly and unafraid.
a part 2 of “coffee does not come from cows” was requested by the lovely @alviolaudable and i am here to deliver 🥰 enjoy! (in other news, I would like to announce that my Toshi obsession has returned in full force, as seen by my repeated Toshi content)
- bo
Pairing: Ushijima x Reader
Warning: none, but Ushijima deserves a warning bc hes hot
Summary: In which Ushijima is quick to realize his feelings for you, but slow in figuring out what to do about it. Until one day he just couldn’t contain it anymore.
There was just something about you that he couldn’t ignore, no matter how hard he tried. All throughout his morning workouts, during class, and late into the night his thoughts were consumed by you and your adorable little coffee cup; the one with the cow print on it. Even during volleyball, he recognized that there was always a subconscious part of his brain still dedicated to you.
It probably started when he locked eyes with you on the day you first were introduced to his class. You hadn’t been intimidated, or shied away from his gaze like so many others did. You were seated right in front of him, and you sat with your back to him at first, giving him the opportunity to admire your hair. But when you turned around to speak to him? He was lost in your eyes. They were sweet, gentle and attentive. And he couldn’t help the words he blurted out next.
“My name is Ushijima Wakatoshi. The volleyball team has been searching for a manager for quite some time now if you’re interested.”
Ushijima could’ve sworn you’d seen right through his calm facade that day. With the way you looked into his eyes, he felt as though you were setting his soul on fire.
Never had he experienced something like this.
Since Ushijima had no idea how to confront his own emotions, his feelings manifested themselves into gentle physical forms of expression, often without him even realizing. He would often find himself reaching out to guide you through the doorway as he held the door open for you, or with a hand resting on your upper back as the two of you spoke to Coach Washijo before practices.
Ushijima understood that you made him feel things that he had never felt before, but that scared him. He had zero experience with anything outside of volleyball and school, but he wasn’t willing to let you slip through his fingers either. Ushijima felt like a coward; he knew he had to do something but he had just didn’t know what to do.
Getting out of his own thoughts, Ushijima looked up to meet Tendou’s face, the two boys sitting in Ushijima’s dorm room after practice and dinner with the team.
“Well buddy, I gotta say i’m impressed you figured this much out on your own without asking for my help sooner. I might even say i’m offended” Tendou’s eyes crinkled as the edges of his mouth peeled upwards into a grin.
“Are you saying you already knew how I felt?”
“I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you this Ushiwaka, but are not subtle at all with things you are passionate about.”
“Ah. I suppose that makes sense.” There was no shame or embarrassment in his face or voice. Why would he ever shy away from you? After all, it wasn’t that he was having trouble coming to terms with his feelings for you. The trouble was determining how to express such feelings in a way that wouldn’t scare you off or overwhelm you.
“So what do I do now? Do people usually write confession letters in these sorts of situations?” Tendou resisted the urge to visibly cringe. Ushijima? Writing a confession letter? It would probably be the driest, most unemotional love letter ever written. No, no he could not allow for such a boring confession.
“Why don’t you tell her before practice tomorrow?”
“Tell her what?”
“Tell her how you feel Ushiwaka. A face to face confession if you will” Now the redhead couldn’t stop his full on smile, already anticipating how much entertainment tomorrow would bring him.
“Are you sure that’s all I do? Somehow I feel as though simply saying it out loud is not enough, perhaps I should wait and plan out a gift for her”
“No, no. Ushiwaka, there will be plenty of time for gifts and shit after you’re already dating. Just imagine- you could bring her a gift every single day if you were together! You wouldn’t have to wait for silly special occasions!” Admittedly, Tendou was an impatient guy. But he also wanted to the best for his friend and receiving a gift while hearing Ushijima Wakatoshi get emotional would probably be a lot for any person to handle all at once. As much as Tendou loved Ushijima, the guy had the worst resting bitch face Tendou had ever seen.
Ushijima agreed, albeit reluctantly so, but when he woke up the next morning, Ushijima found himself full of nervous energy. He arrived to class early, bouncing his leg in anticipation, eyes watching carefully for you to walk through the door. Sure enough, five minutes later you walked in, little coffee cup in hand as you gave him a smile and a wave from the doorway as always. Ushijima appreciated the little routines you had formed with him. Every morning after waving hello you would walk to your seat in front of him, and as you got yourself set up for class you would tell him about your evening activities from the previous night, and often complain about how late you had to stay up to finish your homework. He could listen to you talk for hours about nothing at all and still listen to each word with full attention.
During the morning break in between classes, you pulled out a container of strawberries to snack on. You had turned sideways in your seat, talking casually with a classmate, and Ushijima had a perfect view of your side profile. He could see everything in slow motion, as your fingers delicately held the strawberry to your awaiting mouth, lips open in a soft ‘o’. He watched, eyes unblinking as your lips wrapped around the fruit of the berry, taking a bite as you listened to your friend ramble on. He watched as the juice dripped just slightly onto your lips, and he genuinely feared that the urge to grab your chin and lick your lips clean might overtake him entirely.
He excused himself to the restroom, breath catching in his throat as he was overcome with nervousness all of a sudden. How could he say anything of consequence to you later this afternoon when you looked like that? When your lips were curved so perfectly like that? When your face looked so gentle like that? Ushijima splashed some cold water on his face and steeled his nerves in the mirror. He would do this. He certainly wouldn’t allow himself to be the one to stop himself from getting closer to you. Besides, Ushijima wasn’t really the type to get stressed like this.
He was able to keep his nerves to a minimum throughout the rest of the school day, but when he entered the locker room to get ready for practice, again he could feel that jittery nervousness creeping up his chest.
“Quit shaking your hands like that or you’ll make me nervous Ushiwaka” Tendou’s teasing voice ripped Ushijima’s attention away from his slight panic, thankfully grounding him enough to get a proper hold over himself. Tendou’s eyes softened as he turned to fully face Ushijima.
“She will not reject you. I am sure of it.” Secretly, Tendou had already figured out that you returned Ushiwaka’s feelings. But he promised he wouldn’t interfere with the “natural flow” of your relationship and kept his observations to himself. Ushijima nodded, and walked with the rest of the team out to the gym, where he knew you would already be waiting. As the rest of the team began some warmup drills, Ushijima approached you, his heart in his throat.
“Y/N. May I have a moment to talk to you?” Your body turned to face him, your eyes glancing upwards to meet his in the most innocent expression of curiosity.
“Of course, is there something you need help with Toshi?” God- how that nickname made him melt. No words came out as he stood there before you, eye contact never breaking as Ushijima felt all of his love for you bubble over. His mind clouded, his vision focused on solely you as the rest of the world faded away.
He should’ve practiced what he wanted to say to you, or a least thought it out beforehand. Now he was trapped in that same rising panic from before, only there was no turning back now that you were right here in front of him.
“I- I...” It was as if his heart had severed the connection between his brain and his mouth, and Ushijima knew he would never be able to say it to your face. He had never been a man of many words anyways, always prefering action over empty promises. So he did the one thing he’d been dying to do since the first time he introduced himself to you, in hopes that it would be enough to get the message across.
He took a strong step closer to you, and his large palms came to either side of your face, squishing your cheeks slightly as he pressed his lips to yours. Ushijima felt his heart flutter with that unfamiliar feeling you always gave him, his fingers dipping into the roots of your hair as he pulled you closer to him. He sighed out through his nose gently, as if to say “finally”, as his mouth opened slightly to meld with yours once more; the kiss softer now as you felt every move of his lips against yours.
Ushijima was kissing you. In the volleyball gym. In front of his entire team. And you were kissing him back.
A loud shriek of laughter broke the shocked silence in the gym, breaking the concentration Ushijima had on you. You turned to look at Tendou incredulously, but Ushijima’s hands remained on your face, and his eyes remained on you. He needed to know if you understood his intentions behind his actions; if you understood how deeply he felt for you.
And as you turned back to him, a happy smile across your gorgeous face, he knew. He knew when you threw your arms around his middle and buried your pink cheeks into his chest- you felt the same way.
The laughs and hollers of his teammates finally came back to his attention as his nerves fell away, and Ushijima heard a shell shocked voice from across the court practically yell out,
“Does every Ace have to kiss a girl like that to be a real Ace???”
Ushijima just let out a huff of laughter, and watched as Shirabu aggressively smacked Goshiki on the back of the head, scolding him for “yelling such embarrassing things”.
With the tension in the gym broken, and Ushijima’s heart and mind lighter than ever, he simply pressed your face closer to his chest and smiled to himself.
Ushijima knew that would never regret a single moment of what just happened. Even if the entire volleyball team was eyeing him strangely for it.
