#solitaries

[bohemkokusu]

“Hayat, hayatın dile getirilmesine engel olur.” 

Max Richter - Solitaries 

(Spotfiy)

[quietnqueer]

The difference between introverts and solitaries

Solitaries tend to be introverts, but not all introverts are solitary. So what distinguishes the ‘solitary introvert’ from the ‘non-solitary introvert’?

1. Solitaries have a stronger preference for their own company 

Introverts, solitary and non-solitary alike, need time alone. Socialising drains introverts and they need time by themselves afterwards to regain their energies. It’s just the way they’re wired. However, the non-solitary introvert still likes to socialise, especially with close friends and family. They may even be the ones to initiate the social engagement. They’ll “turn down an invitation to a party” but still “invite(s) a friend over to hang out the next day.” * 

A solitary on the other hand, doesn’t just need time alone to refuel after a bout of socialising; they simply prefer their own company full stop. They are never happier than when they are alone. The solitary rarely seeks out or initiates social interaction - they’ll turn down the invitation to the party AND fail to invite friends over to hang out the next day. 

To sum up: all introverts may enjoy being alone some of the time, but the solitary introvert enjoys being alone for most of the time and that’s because they enjoy solitude more for its own sake. 

2. Solitaries have less of a need to form emotional connections with others 

The mainstream ‘introvert discourse’ likes to emphasise that, far from being aloof loners, introverts are actually very pro-social. They may not be the biggest party animals, or have the largest social networks, but they do have the ability to establish genuinely deep connections with others, and therefore make great friends/partners/co-workers, etc. 

What distinguishes the solitary introvert from the non-solitary introvert is that the solitary has far less of a need to form attachments with other people. 

The non-solitary introvert has a rich inner world they like to retreat into, yet they still have a desire to connect with other people and form relationships. For example, they may need the sense of belonging a friendship group gives them. Non-solitary introverts are very much invested in their social networks, even if those networks are small. Or they may need other people for emotional support. The non-solitary introvert likes their own company, but this doesn’t stop them from getting  lonely sometimes, and that’s when they’ll reach out to a trusted confidante. 

Solitaries on the other hand are far more self-contained and autonomous. They don’t see themselves in relation to others that much and have less of a need to ‘belong’. Solitaries rarely get lonely. Unlike the non-solitary introvert, the solitary introvert does not, “seize the phone and call” someone when they “feel miserable… even in the gloomiest gloom” it is not the solitary’s “instinct to talk it over.”** They simply keep their own counsel.

In a nutshell, the difference between solitaries and introverts is that solitaries don’t need other people that much, whilst non-solitary introverts do, even if that’s in smaller doses.  Solitaries are less intrinsically motivated to seek out other people’s company and to establish interpersonal connections.   

*Quote from How to be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic & Rise Above Social Anxiety by Ellen Hendriksen.

**Quote from Party of One: The Loners’ Manifesto by Anneli Rufus.

Like this post? Then you can find similar content at: www.sociallydistant.xyz

[santmat]

All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Blaise Pascal

[evelyncristinaart]

🌾🌿🍂Inspirações🍂🌿🌾

[santmat]

By stillness of the body and ceasing from this world, solitaries imagine the true stillness and the withdrawal from nature which will occur at the end of the corporeal world. By means of the mind, the solitaries are united with the world of the Spirit. By means of meditation, they are involved in the expanse above.

Isaac the Syrian's Spiritual Works, translated by Mary Hansbury

[santmat]

A person who has stillness and the converse of knowledge will easily and quickly arrive at the love of God, and with the love of God he will draw close to perfect love of fellow human beings. No one has ever been able to draw close to this luminous love of humanity without having first been held worthy of the wonderful and inebriating love of God.

Isaac of Nineveh (Isaac the Syrian), translated by Sebastian Brock

[ghostinvisiblegirl]