#source: fam

[military-newsboys]

Buck: Shh! I told Eddie that Dad was dead.

Maddie: Why would you do that?

Buck: Because he's a narcissistic sociopath.

Maddie: Then what are you marrying him for?

Buck: I'm talking about Dad.

Maddie: Oh. Oh, yeah. He totally is.

[incorrectonceuponatime]

Snow: Shh! I told David that Dad was dead.

Regina: Why would you do that?

Snow: Because he's a narcissistic sociopath.

Regina: Then what are you marrying him for?

Snow: I'm talking about Dad.

Regina: Oh. Oh, yeah. He totally is.

[incorrectonceuponatime]

Snow: Well, that's done. I told my dad he's not walking me down the aisle.

David: How'd he take it?

Snow: He didn't seem to care.

Snow: He just asked me if any of my 'hot friends' would be sitting at his table.

Snow: I wish I had a dad who wanted to be part of my life.

David: Well, if he hooks up with one of your hot friends, he'll be part of your life.

Snow: ....

David, laughing at his own joke: I was trying to make you laugh.

Snow: ....

David:... You don't want to laugh...

[incorrectonceuponatime]

David: All right Dad, what's going on? You're on time, you brought a gift...

David: It's 6 o'clock and you don't smell like tequila.

Robert: What? I can't make a good impression?

James: No. That is why we're confused.

[incorrectonceuponatime]

David: Speaking of school, what are you, a sophomore?

Teenaged Emma: No I dropped out last year so I'm a no-more.

Snow: You dropped out of school?

Emma: What do I need school for?

Emma, holding up her cellphone: The lady inside of this, she knows everything.