#source: dropout

[incorrectfantasyquotes]

Elend: Ladies and gentlemen of the court, over the past four days you have witnessed the prosecutor’s attempt to effectively bamboozle you with a series of hearsay arguments and loose, speculative evidence placing my wife near the scene of the crime during the time of the murder. You are tasked to consider the evidence and whether it proves beyond a reasonable doubt whether my wife is guilty. Is my wife a perfect lady? No.

Vin: I killed him, yeah.

[daemon-is-perfectly-unhinged]

rhaegar doing rhaegar things

[anneslovegood]

Same energy

[foolilazuli]

Scotland’s sworn oath starts to concern England

Scotland, kneeling on one knee: My Lord

England: Yes

Scotland: I’ve journeyed far to pledge my fealty to you. I have slain many a fowl beast

England, nods: Hm

Scotland: Many a geese—

England: Hm?

Scotland: Running through the fields of Sussex

England: Wh—

Scotland: The geese were absolutely out of control. Many fell to my blade. They have those long, slender necks, pretty easy to take out

England: Uh—

Scotland: I didn’t eat any of ‘em, I don’t like eating geese, it’s sort of gamey

England: Scot—

Scotland: But enough about that. I’m here and I will do whatever you want, I will KILL whoever you want, I will SLAY whatever geese may run a-fowl of you. Pun intended

England:

Scotland: But enough about that. What were you saying?

England: I didn’t say shit, man. I didn’t say shit. You keep saying enough about that, and frankly, Sir Scotland, I disagree that we’ve had enough about that. How many geese did you kill on the way to the castle?

Scotland, thinking: Uh, 60–

England: Holy—

Scotland: 70 thousand?

England, gobsmacked: Sev—[taking a moment to process]

Scotland: There are no more geese in these lands, for I have taken them all out in your name and I shot—

England: IN MY NAME?!

Scotland: “For England”, I said, “For England!” [mimics slashing his sword]

England: What the— [looks out his window] Oh bollacks, there’s an angry mob outside, you piece of shit

Wales, outside: It’s fucked up what he did!

England, yelling out the window: Wales!

Wales: Yeah?

England: I’m handling it!

Scotland, yelling out the window: You’re welcome!

Wales: Oh, there he is!

England: Bloody hell, Scotty!

Scotland, back to kneeling on one knee: But enough about that—

England: STOP SAYING “ENOUGH ABOUT THAT”

[incorrectmahabharatquotes]

A Defendant (Bheem) Stupidly Interrupting his Lawyer's (Sahadeva) closing remarks

Sahadeva: Gentleman of the jury, you have seen over the past few days, states' prosecutor using loose speculative evidence and hearsay- placing my client at the scene of the crime of Keechak's death, and at the time of the murder. You are tasked to examine the evidence and determine beyond a reasonable doubt, whether my client is guilty. Is my client a perfect man? No-

Bheem: I killed him, yeah.

*chaos erupts*

[douglas-duke-keane]

Ted rummaging through his parents' fridge: Oh, whiskey! *Drinks the bottle and spits it out in disgust* Ted turning to Pete: What was that!? Pete: Apple juice

[ohana-means-quoting-incorrectly]

Jumba: Let Pleakley name 5 sewing styles, and I'll name 5 experiments- I'll name 100 experiments!

Nani: Nobody wants your experiments Jumba!

Jumba, desperately: PLEASE!!!

[sammys-magical-au]

Lionel: now, here to read my social security number- *laughs in dismay* is a field reporter named after the amount of people I performed oral sex on in one night in 7952.

Fives, reading off the paper in his hands in complete and utter horror: hello… I’m… FIFTY?!

*everyone turns and looks at Lionel in shock*

Padmé: in one-?!

Rex: that CAN’T be right!

Lionel: there was a party that I went to-

Echo: WHAT-?!

Lionel: they had parties underneath Uhmandasee Market in the Underworld…

*everyone still staring at them*

Lionel: …I guess that’s the end of the sentence-

Echo: LET’S SAY every blowjob took a minute and a half!

Lionel: they weren’t ALL to completion-

Echo: THAT IS SEVENTY-FIVE MINUTES!

Padmé: such a round, even number - fifty?!

Lionel: so when you walk in, you- you chuck your clothes and they write your number on your arm, and then- and then… ANYWAY, you can see everybody’s number and you know how many people are in there.

Padmé: and you’re positive you blew all fifty??

Lionel: I’m positive. 😏

Cody, way too amused: OH, they’re positive! With a lot of things-

Rex: *giggling*

Anakin: did you have water?!? I mean, fuckin’-

Lionel: yeah, there was a snack bar!

Anakin: *WHEEZE*