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Enneagram 2
Need: To be loved.
Belongs to: Heart triad. The compliant heart triad that caters to others’ needs to fill their sense of pride and make themselves feel loved.
Kind, sweet and caring are one way to describe enneagram 2. However, something that a lot of people overlook when it comes to this type is their pride. It’s interesting because type 2s genuinely approach people and try to convince one to love them from a position of rejection and shame. However, on receiving love, to avoid rejection, they start taking pride in how others need them.
2s are also quite aggressive in how they try to attain love. In unhealthy versions, they can be extremely manipulative; they can guilt-trip you into providing them with the love they think they deserve by bringing up all the times they made sure you were loved and taken care of (if you notice, you can see how much pride they take in taking care of people and in people needing them)
Like the other heart types, 2s create a persona to navigate this world. This is the caring, motherly, “what would you be without me” version. They understand the manipulation behind giving and receiving love to the point that they can perfectly execute a version of themself that would be fit for loving. This persona of their would differ based on their dominant instinctual variant.
2s as children were rejected, so they taught themselves to earn love through manipulation and persona. This includes providing service, seduction, innocence, etc.
Wings:
2w1: The 2 that enjoys receiving and giving love “moralistically”. Along with rejection, they have this inner anger, which makes them mold their “love” to perfection. They also believe that they wouldn’t be able to convince people of their love if it isn’t for the right/good/perfect cause.
2w3: Being a double-image type, these types really really care about being loveable. Bit less moralistic, more concerned about self-image, have an essence of vanity that threes would have, but this would be more centered towards the amount of love they receive. Can have the “notice me senpai” feeling to them.
Subtypes:
Sp: Since this subtype is more about preserving oneself, the 2 in this case would go about trying to present a persona that can be protected and loved. They might portray themselves as this weak, cute, soft and caring person who will be loved because they’re harmless, and can be cared for.
Sx: They are your typical “dark femme”, “seductress”, “man eater” persona since they manipulate the sx attraction and make it something that can be used for being admired, loved and worshipped. Once merged, they would do anything to maintain that image of love that they initially displayed to their object of interest.
So: Your typical, mother-hen, goddess, savior. Will create an external structure or society that is built out of their persona of wanting to protect. However, like every other subtype, this “giving” stems from a lack of receiving, and from the hopes that on wanting to protect, they might find love.
One of the biggest misconception of enneagram 2 is that people believe that they’re self-sacrificing, kind, caring, etc. They assign 2 with these trait to depict how they receive love. We must remember that 2 belongs to the heart triad, who have concerns around shame and being accepted for who they are. Since it is all about shame and struggle with self-acceptance, your typical 2 is more likely to create a persona that they know will be loved. So try viewing 2s, or all the heart triads from a position of image. Yes, they might show love by doing everything for you, but they can also show love by being a strict ruler who treats her subjects as her kids (Daenerys Targaryen), by being the unattainable confident bad-ass who only serves herself, cause she loves the attention she gets (Maddy Perez), or by being the cute girl next door who wishes to be protected (Historia Reiss).
2s infact know what exactly they want and far-from sacrificing. So differentiate them from other types as someone who is concerned about obtaining love by creating an image that can be loved..
Common Mistypes: So 9, Sx 9, So 6, So 7, So 8
Enneagram Countertypes
For each type, one of the three subtypes is considered the countertype. These types are most commonly misunderstood and mistyped because their enneagram's nature runs counter to their instinct. The enneagram's motivation is opposed to the following instincts:
Social 9 - very outgoing and energetic in contrast to the more subdued sp and sx 9. Generous, selfless, self sacrificing. Work hard and try to accomplish for the group. Still has a sense of inertia with own needs and wants. Can be workaholics but avoid showing stress and putting burden on others
Social 8 - express lust and aggression in service to others. Protective, loyal. Defend the weak and exploited. Outwardly calmer than sp and sx 8. Rebels against authority to protect the oppressed through power and control. Seeks solidarity. Still out of touch with own need for protection and care.
Social 7 - against instinct of gluttony, consciously avoid exploiting others. Assuage their guilty pleasure in gluttony with altruism, work for a better world in which there is no pain or conflict. Five-ish acetic ideal. Indulgent and generous character. Repressed guilt for unconscious mix up of altruism and self interest. A desire to reach an ideal purity based on social consensus (opposed to 1's internally generated sense of perfection)
Sexual 6 - turns against the passion of fear by taking a stance of strength and intimidation. Best defense is offense. Bold, fierce, assertive as opposed to the more doubtful and deferring sp and so 6. Use ideals of "strength and beauty" to defend against fear. Disconnected from feelings, tend not to acknowledge the intensity of their aggression/intimidation. Contrarian.
Sexual 5 - inhibited and introverted but less removed from emotions than sp and so 5. Avarice expressed through ongoing search for connection that will satisfy need for most perfect idealized union. Reserved and laconic on outside, more romantic and emotionally sensitive inside. Trust is still difficult so confidence is held as a romantic ideal in which one is safe to share secrets, taboo fantasies. Guarded in the face of emotional intensity but have desire for deep intimacy among trusted few.
Self-preservation 4 - stoic, dauntless suffering. Expresses less outward melancholy than so and sx 4. Swallow feelings of shame, envy, sensitivity, suffering. Withstands frustration. More masochistic than melodramatic. Works to get what others have instead of enviously dwelling on what they are missing. Attachment to enduring.
Self-preservation 3 - vanity for having no vanity. Wants to be successful but wants others to know that image isn't important. Self-sufficient, not forthcoming about accomplishments unlike so and sx 3. Developed focus on autonomy and security due to not having enough protection and resources. Need not only to be seen as the ideal model quality in what they do, but to be the ideal. Productive, secure, "in control" with underlying sense of anxiety.
Self-preservation 2 - childlike, youthful as opposed to the overly adult seductive qualities of sx 2 or the so "power 2". Unconscious assertion of childlike priority, being loved for simply being cute and lovable. Want to be seen without showing themselves. Tender and sweet but more guarded than other twos. Don't want to see themselves as dependent but unconsciously engineer situations for people to take care of them.
Sexual 1 - more of a reformer than a perfectionist. Zealous and driven to make changes in others, less focused on perfecting the self. Unlike sp and so 1, is explicitly angry. Intensity of desire fueled by anger. Impatient, invasive, asserts will over others. Avengers, not afraid of confrontation. Brave, strong, impulsive. Repress pain. Need order in relationships.