What you like most about fear, Abigail?
''{This is such an unique sensation... Yet, with so many contrasts...! How can I say it ? There are so many types of fear. Three main categories, so far. All of them leaves a feeling that gets you whole...}
{There is for example, the Jumpscare type of fear. It leaves an unique clutch in the neck that I think of as such a shock of pleasure. It is sadly short, but is easy to trigger.}
{The Unhealthy type of fear is triggered by, usually, elements related to the body, such as blood, insides, skin torn apart, disembodied body parts, eyes, teeth and mouth, hands... The body twisting in manners that are usually not allowing a person to survive. What is commonly called 'gore' or 'bodyhorror'. This is apparently based on empathy and the sensation you get in your body is your brain anticipating the pain these things would cause you. But, I am not responsive to this type of fear and the necessary stimuli are just too messy to gather, so it is not so interesting. (Although it is the most effective way to get cries... The process to obtain the stimuli, I mean. Um.)}
{The Anxiety type of fear is my personal favourite, and is caused by the environment. An eerie setting, some darkness and above all a good sound ambience... And it triggers a category of shivers and a sensation in the chest and the shoulders which I think are the best sensation ever♡. I do not believe I will ever get bored of it.}
{Oh, and there is actually a fourth category, but this one is not much worth talking about. It the Insanity category. Witnessing someone go through it doesn't get the same type of screams, -although it create really good fear stimuli- but to feel it frankly just gives terrible headaches and feelings. I could most likely do without.}''
{*then goes on a interminable and excruciatingly detailed rambling about the many variations of fear with way too many examples and anecdotes than mortals can probably handle*}
[At this point I think I should make the point on something.
Autistic people, especially with an Asperger syndrom, often possess one absolute specific interest which can become obsessive for some, to the point they dedicate themselves entirely -some to the point they'd forget to sleep, eat or drink and basically neglect everything else. They can talk about it for hours and hours without flailing. That interest can be sometimes understandable to neurotypic people, sometimes not. Sometimes it's about space, cars, dinosaurs. Sometimes it's about plans, feeling textures or spotting dust. Sometimes it's even something that harm them physically. Anything it is, it's their comfort field and their main source of joy.
It is often hard for them to explain why they love it so much to neurotypic people. It is something that seems evident for them, and really- what's the point in explaining something evident ?
So {Abigail}'s specific interest happens to be fear. It may be harmful to other people. It may be unhealthy for her. But whatever it may be, it is her evidence of happiness, she can't justify it and will back up against nothing to satisfy her passion.
After all, it's not really as if she can tell or even get that people do not necessarily enjoy what she loves...]
