in honor of me getting my first speeding ticket today, can you rank the acotar characters of how good they are at driving? i really just need to know who matches me for max speed, max music volume, and 13 cans rattling on the floor lmao -@mmiscbutterflies
Okay but not one man on this list is a good driver.
16. Tamlin- ROAD. RAGE. WHY ARE YOU IN THE CARPOOL LANE- YES I KNOW ITS FOR CARPOOLING NOT SPEEDING (except it IS FOR SPEEDING OH MY GOD)
15. Azriel- Agrees with every point Tamlin made but also playing the LOUDEST metal you've ever heard. Whole car is shaking. Cannot hear thoughts. Multiple tickets for evading police simply because he did not hear them behind him. A menace in every residential neighborhood
14. Eris- Stop sign is merely a suggestion. Not even rolling it, just acknowledges it is technically there. Yellow means SPEED UP, chugging 5th coffee by 5pm, should be illegal for this man to be on the road.
13. Cassian- LIFTED. PICK UP. So wide it is in TWO FUCKING LANES.
12. Rhysand- flashy sports car he drives with one hand, seat all the way back. Vroom vroom ladies, my dick is big. Always zipping through rush over traffic, not caring he is what is SLOWING US ALL DOWN
11. Lucien- Talking while driving, yelling at the other cars for doing unforgivable things such as: stopping at a red light, slowing down to yield, not mowing through pedestrians in the crosswalk. Music is entirely too loud, car is immaculate though.
10. Jurian- using car as a hotbox. Technically not a car so much as a trashcan on wheels. Doing the speed limit but nothing happening inside that vehicle is legal.
9. Helion- Cat calling from his window. HEY LADIES WANT TO SUCK MY DICK? Works more than you think it should. Road head while doing 80 through a school zone? It's not a crime if you don't get caught.
8. Amren- Makes a lot of jokes about how many points she'd get if she hit a child...and swerves A LOT when one steps off a curb.
7. Vassa- ALWAYS ON HER HORN. HONKING AT PEDESTRIANS WITH THE RIGHT OF WAY. HONKING AT CARS WITH THEIR BLINKER ON MAKING A VERY LEGAL TURN. If you flip her off, she'll roll down her window and threaten to fight you.
6. Feyre- Doing 15 over, but is also putting on her make up and texting 8 people all at once while listening to bright, bubble-gum pop music. Other cars? Oh my god, I don't even remember how I got here!
5. Gwyn- NERVOUS. Riding the break HARD. "The speed limit is 65, Gwyn" "Okay but it's a range so 45 is fine"
4. Mor- Leaning out her window to make fun of what the car beside her is listening to. Always filming a tiktok, hits a curb once a week because she's trying to edit her videos in traffic.
3. Emerie- Aggressively daring city police to pull her over. Locking eyes with cops while making a u-turn. I DARE YOU. Sometimes they call her bluff.
2. Nesta- Yeah, doing 90 in a 55 is fine if I KNOW there won't be any cops on this stretch but I would NEVER run a red light AZRIEL. Filthiest audiobook playing at full volume, listening stone faced with the windows down.
1. Elain- Has a little flower vase in dashboard and beads from her mirror. Obeying the law 100% because she wants to put into the universe good vibes only. Is in 0 rush to get anywhere. Music reasonable volume, she likes to sing along. Washes car every Friday.
