#split ink

[topazpantoja]

Say that you remember

I can still see myself walking those streets at 6 am, I see her waiting by the door with a cup of coffee in her hand, she complained about my lateness, and I couldn't help but laugh. That's how our mornings were usually spent, and maybe right now these memories are tearing me apart, but i hope that you remember this:

I hope that you remember sitting by Bryant Park talking about all our dreams and hopes for the future, say that you remember me holding you tight as the rain came down, we danced to Michael Jackson songs like we were kids again. Say that you remember the hours we spent on one photograph, and the messages that went into the late hours. Please tell me you remember the first time we met and how we instantly hit it off, you told how beautiful I looked in that dress and I still think about it till this day. Say that you remember the adventures we went on, and the laughters that filled the air, maybe I should've told you that you were meant for me. I know that you remember the last time I saw you, I was thinking it was over but you know we'd meet again.

I hope that you remember these moments, with our memories plastered in every part of my memory, and every place I go. Because there were words left unspoken, I fell in love without knowing.

Topaz Pantoja

[paintedgreypoetry]

I always associate rain with depression I don’t why but the spring rain And it’s harsh cold droplets Always remind me of the pain inside me. I always associate you with my depression You with my insomnia You with my coffee You with the rain. I keep writing about you And the damn rain. In my head we were this hurricane of love But to you we were Just two clouds passing over the same area. My soul being the space that You happen to pour over. I am sick of being an ocean of heartache Over you and the damn rain. These storms that rage in my head Are just ways for your memories To thunder around in me. It rained today and I only thought of you And your cold embrace. When the waves of depression Crash over me and try to pull me under. I tend to feel closer to you. Maybe that’s why when I sit in the shower I always feel your kisses.

Looking back now you were more of an anchor then a life vest.

[and-souls-collide]

I want to write you / into all things tender / lock you away in my ribcage / record the melodies in your voice / and play them on repeat / over / and over / hold  your beating heart against mine / say this is your home  now / you are safe here / you are always going to be safe.

- 06:51 AM // Danielle Paige

[moonshinenoire]

They are not long, the days of wine and roses:    Out of a misty dream  Our path emerges for a while, then closes    Within a dream.

Ernest Dowson (2 August 1867 – 23 February 1900)

[topazpantoja]

Time goes on, but I’m still in love with you

You were an example of appreciating what you have until it's gone; The memories live, and days go by, but time hasn't healed any of the wounds you left inflicted in me. Years go by, and your name forms a knot in my stomach whenever I hear someone talk about how you've been, they talk about you in the present, but I talk about you in the past tense, I wasn't fortunate enough to stick by you as long as they did. Sometimes I'm alone and the crowds get larger, and memories get stronger, that time you were with me I said, "I wish I never met you" I was mad but I'd take it all back if I had seen what the future holds. I had everything with you, and now I'm searching for something that's lost but won't be found. I'm sorry I couldn't love you the way you deserved, the way someone should be loved. You're happy now, but I'm still reminiscing. If you'd ask, I'd never come back to you nor will I ever want to see your face again. It kills me everyday to come to this conclusion, but no one has hurt you more than I ever did, and I rather disappear than make you feel that all over again. I still love you, but you don't need to know that. you deserved the world, but I wasn't ready to give it to you.

---Topaz P. September 18th, 20176

[topazpantoja]

Forgotten

In my mind you don't seem real anymore. The color of your eyes became foggy, and your voice is a distant echo. I'm trying to remember your touch, but it's a mystery to me. I promised I wouldn't forget, but you're being erased like we never met.

--- Topaz P.

July 28th, 2017: 2:45 am

[paintedgreypoetry]

What stories your hands must have to tell. Touch me; Tell me. Show me with every graze, Let your fingertips on my skin Be another word. I want to read your body. I want to know you cover to cover; Head to toe. Let your kisses on me Speak every word you’ve Always wanted to say to me. I want to hear you, Not just with your voice But with your skin on mine What to hear it Whisper something more then Words could ever say. I want to feel your “I love you” Not just hear it.

Kisses me a lullaby

[topazpantoja]

Home

The only home I knew was wrapped in your arms, feeling the rhythm of your heartbeat.

I miss being home.

--Topaz P.