#splittheroom

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

Things you must try on an elevator

[Redacted]: Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off

Glargan: Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you admiral

Mayonnaise: Meow occasionally

Nate: Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror, “You’re one of them!” and back away slowly

M.O.T.H.E.R.: Say DING at each floor

Greg: Make explosion noises when someone presses a button

Dot: Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce that this is your personal space

M. Bubz: When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you

Cookie: Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up then scream, “That’s mine!”

Guy: Call out a group hug, then enforce it

^

[pembrokewkorgi]

In the latest Pemmy and Friends series, Pemmy and pals play Split The Room with hilarious effects! Pals include @JIrish780, @Sphynxhibition1, Kyo, Drax, Maxie, @Verdant_Range, and @arrowny18! https://youtu.be/IKFZ1U-zSPc

Posted using PostyBirb

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

Cookie: "Which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different when you put it in hot water?"

All: *SHOCK*

Bidiots Host: "You were putting it in COLD WATER?"

Schmitty: "Cookie? Answer the question, Cookie!"

Cookie: "Yeah? I thought for years you just use hot water to speed up the... 'tea-ification' process. Didn't realize there was an actual reason."

[REDACTED]: "You don't have the patience to microwave water?!"

Narrator: "Why are you... putting it in the microwave... to boil it?"

[REDACTED]: "You think I have the patience to boil water on a stove?!"

Narrator: "IT TAKES! LESS! THAN A MINUTE!"

[REDACTED]: "BESTIE, IS YOUR STOVETOP POWERED BY THE FRIGGIN' SUN?!?!"

Narrator: "HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YOU TO BOIL A CUP OF WATER ON A STOVE?!"

[REDACTED]: "LIKE SEVEN MINUTES!!!"

Narrator: *tired* "Just put the mug on top of the stove on medium heat, and it boils in less than a minute. Less than that, and you use a saucepan!"

[REDACTED]: *in shock* "You're putting the entire mug on top of the stove?! ON MEDIUM HEAT?! Your stove is enchanted!!"

Mayonaise: "Everyone in this conversation is a lunatic..."

Lord Tippet: "DO NONE OF YOU OWN A FUCKING KETTLE?!?!"

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

Schmitty: “Okay, let’s unpack our groceries and put everything away.”

Schmitty: *starts unpacking and handing items to Quips.* “Uncanned ham,”

Quips: *takes ham*

Schmitty: “One casaba melon,”

Quips: *takes melon*

Schmitty: “One small child,”

Quips: *takes Buttercream*

Schmitty: “One box of corn flakes-”

All: *Realise Buttercream is the small child.” !!!

Schmitty: *rechecks the list* “Peanut butter, instant mashed potatoes, American cheese, corn chips. No. No baby on here.”

Cookie: *enter stage right* “Look at all this stuff you bought! Candy and sausage patties and popcorn and a baby and donuts and... Oooh just put it all away! *walks away*

Schmitty: “I usually do. Watch this, I give him 5 seconds.”

Schmitty: “4. 3. 2. Que Masterson.”

Cookie: *rushes back* “A BABY?!?!?”

Buttercream: *laughs cutely while clapping his paws*

Cookie: *stutters a bunch of gibberish in shock*

Schmitty: “I didn’t know Cookie spoke Swahili!”

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

Mayonaise: “One day, a man comes up to your house. He knocks on the door. You open it. He gives you a box, inside of it is a button.”

Mayonaise: “The man sits down with you and explains that ‘Alright [REDACTED], Schmitty. If you press this button, someone somewhere on this Earth will die’.”

[REDACTED]: “I press it.”

Mayonaise: “No not yet! You can’t press-”

[REDACTED]: “I press it again!”

Mayonaise: “I’m not done!”

[REDACTED]: “I press it five times!!!”

Mayonaise: “THAT IS NOT THE END OF MY STATEMENT!”

[REDACTED]: “FIVE TIMES!”

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

Dixie: *carrying an abundance of shopping bags.*

Mayonaise: “Yeah, please tell me all of those aren’t for my son.”

Dixie: “They’re not!”

Mayonaise: “Good.”

Dixie: ... *shows the black bag* “This one is for [REDACTED].”

Mayonaise: *sighs*

Cookie: *chuckles*

Dixie: “WHAT? It is my DUTY as a fairy godmother to SPOIL the CHILD! And Buttercream is finally old enough to be fun when opening presents! I’m not taking them back! Give me my coffee and nobody’s gonna get hurt!”

Cookie: *gives Dixie her coffee.*

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

Mayonnaise: “If you’re fortunate enough, your internal organs will spend their entire lifespans in absolute darkness.”

Schmitty: “Not if I swallow this glowstick!!”

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

Schrodinger:

 There’s an old cat proverb that goes, “It’s better to live one hour as a tiger than an entire lifetime as a worm.”

Cookie: 

There’s an old human proverb - “Whoever heard of a worm-skin rug?” (Source: Red Dwarf)