‘Day 5’: song inspired: things I wish you said by Sabrina carpenter w/ Clark Kent
ughhh late post bc im slightly tipsy, just a little 🤏 ^_^
warnings: angst, open ending ig…. Idk what else to say bc my brain is so sloshy
“Wait, watch, you have to watch this part” Clark laughed, pulling back down onto the couch. You groaned playfully but stayed still, watching the screen. “I don’t get it” you admit, you felt him shift, the scene paused. “What do you mean?” You shrug, turning to look at him. “I don’t get the appeal, I mean what’s so interesting about it?” He looked at you offended, his mouth opening and closing.
“Baby, what?!” You struggled to hide you smile. “I dunno, I just don’t find it interesting” he shook his head standing. “It’s Star Trek! How is—“ he sat back down his head in his hands. “I’ll still watch it with you Clark, I just don’t really like it” you said leaning your head down on his hunched back. “Clark?” You mumble, he hummed in response slowly sitting back up. “Are you okay?” He nodded. “Yeah, i just— it kinda sucks, I was hoping it could be our thing” you smiled, brushing his curls back. “It still can, it’ll just be… more your thing than mine” he chuckled, turning to face you. He grabbed your wrist, bringing your hand up to his lips to leave a chaste kiss.
“I love you” he whispered, you giggled. No matter how many times he said those three words to you, it still left you feeling giddy. “I love you more” he groaned, pulling you into his lap. “Not plausible” you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. “Mm,I love when you bring out those big journalist words” you tease softly leaning down to peck his lips. Before you could pull away he reeled you back in, capturing your lips in a sweet kiss.
When you pulled away, you watched him with a lovesick smile, his cheeks were a light shade of red ,his hands resting on your hip. “You’re it for me” he murmured. You smack his chest playfully. “Stop being so cheesy” he rolled his eyes laughing. “I can’t help it, you make me melt” you groaned, pressing your palms against his face to shut him up, he let out a hearty laugh. “Oh! C’mon! I thought you liked me cheesy” his voice muffled by your palms. You slowly dropped your hands. “Sadly” you sighed. He gasped, looking at you with a mock offensive. “Really?” You nodded, the smile on your face hadn’t moved once. He smirked, pushing you back onto the couch, moving to hover over you. “Gosh,” he breathed out. “I really do love you” you smiled brightly pulling him down into a kiss, your hands tangling in his hair.
“Hey” Lois waved her hand in front of your face, you slowly came back. “Sorry,” you mumbled rubbing your eyes. “Stop looking at him, you’re only hurting yourself more” you nodded. “I know, it’s just— how— how is he so normal about everything?” Lois shrugged, she wasn’t sure what to say. “I overheard Cat telling Jimmy he went on date, it’s been a month and he’s already dating” you laughed bitterly, Lois frowned her hand squeezing yours. “What even happened?” You shrugged. “I don’t know, he just said it wasn’t working, that it was him not me, like what a fucking cliche” you scoffed, remembering the moment everything came crashing down.
“What’s wrong?” You asked, your tone soft as you sat down next to Clark on your shared bed. He continued to stare down at the floor, fidgeting with his hands. “Clark?” You grasped his chin between your pointer and thumb, turning his head to face you, his eyes were rimmed red, tears spilling down his cheeks. “I’m sorry” he cried, you tilted your head confused, your heart clenched and your gut pulsing with anxiety. “What’s wrong?” You wiped his tears away with your thumb. “I’m sorry” he repeated. “Clark, why are you apologizing, what’s going on?” Your nerves only grew. “I don’t want you to hate me” he whispered, you looked at him stunned, cupping his face gently. “I could never hate you” you reassured him, he pulled away, turning away from you. “We need— it’s over” he croaked out.
Your hands fell down into your lap. “What is?” You questioned but you knew what he meant, you just hoped that it wasn’t. He sniffled, wiping his eyes. “Us” your ears began to ring. You watched as his lips moved, but you didn’t hear a thing he said. He reached for you, your name falling from his lips as you came back. You stood abruptly. “Why— what— I don’t understand” he looked up at you. “It’s— I just I can’t— it’s not you, it’s me” you looked at him bewildered. “Oh, fuck that, don’t— don’t try to hide behind that” he shook his head standing. “I’m— I’m not hiding behind anything okay? It’s the truth— I just— I can’t being in a relationship right now—“ you threw your hands up frustrated. “It’s been two years Clark! Two! We live together— you— you couldn’t have realized this sooner? Before I let you become the person I build my life around— th-the person I build a life with?” You cracked, he looked down ashamed.
“Maybe he got scared” Lois offered up gently. “It’s fine” you shook your head. “It doesn't matter, if he’s moving, then so can I” you decided, Lois grinned patting your back. “That’s the spirit”
“How’d the date go?” Jimmy asked Clark, slapping his shoulder playfully. “What date?” Jimmy smirked, rolling his eyes. “Don’t play coy” Clark still, confused, stopped his typing and turned in his chair to look up at Jimmy.
Jimmy sighed leaning closer to explain. “Cat told me that Steve told her, he overheard you say you had a date” Clark raised his eyebrows. “Cat said Steve said that?” Jimmy nodded. “Jimmy” Clark said dumbfounded. “Right, I forgot,” Jimmy laughed. “He probably overheard my conversation with ma and pa, they were asking about—“ he paused suddenly. If Cat told Jimmy then she must’ve told you— he looked over towards your desk, you were talking to Lois. Okay maybe he could fix it before the rumor got to you, he thought calming himself, he looked back at Jimmy.
“What were they asking about?”
“Who?” Jimmy made a face. “Your ‘ma’ and ‘pa’” he clarified, adding Clark’s ‘barely there’ accent to the words. “Just about — and I” Jimmy nodded. “Right” Jimmy leaned against Clark’s desk. “What even happened there?” Clark leaned back in his chair with an exhale. “You know,” he shrugged.
This was your first, first date in two years, and you had never felt more anxious.
As you stepped out of the cab and made your way into the fancy restaurant you realized two things. One Clark wouldn’t be sitting there waiting for you and two, you were going to have to start over, you weren’t about to just know everything about this person, and vice versa, this was terrifying.
“Hi” he greeted with a smile standing to pull out your chair. “Hi” you greeted back, he had a nice smile, but he didn’t have dimples. Stop it, you reprimand yourself. “Have you been here before?” You shook your head. “No, sadly” he nodded. “So… you’re a journalist?” He tried, he really did, and it wasn’t him, he seemed great, he wanted to know you, you could tell, but you couldn’t sit there and get his hopes up without feeling like the worst person ever. “God, I’m sorry, I can’t— I can’t do this—“ you confess standing, he looked confused standing with you.
“Why? Did I do something” you shook your head. “No, god you seem incredible, I mean—“ you looked around the restaurant. “—I just— I just— got out of a relationship… and I’m realizing that I’m not ready for this, and it doesn’t feel right dragging you down with me— I’m… im really sorry, Paul” even as you let him down he looked understanding. “It’s okay, it’s a good thing we didn’t order right?” He joked, that pulled a smile from you. “I’ll Venmo you for the wine—“ he held his hand up. “No need, I got it covered” you hesitate before agreeing. “I’m really sorry” he only smiled. “And, when you are ready, and if you don’t get back together with your ex, you have my number”
You yanked your heels off as soon as you entered your apartment, digging for your phone in your purse to call Lois. “Hey! How’d it go?” Her voice rang through. “I couldn’t do it..” you sniffled, Lois sat up on her end.
“What happened?” She fretted. “I don’t know, I mean he did everything right, and I just— I couldn’t stop comparing him to Clark” you cried. “It’s not your fault, it was just too early” she reassured, you nodded. “Yeah, its— what if… what if he was it for me Lois? What if I’ll never love someone the way I love him?” “Don’t say that” Lois warned. “It’s not true” she continued. “It’s just going to take time” you hiccuped wiping your eyes.
“I miss him” you confess, Lois sighed. “I know you do, but you’re going to be okay, I promise” she sounded so sure, and for a second you let yourself believe her before you felt your mind reel you back, you would always love Clark Kent, and eventually you would have to watch him love someone else. His voice rang through your head, his words, his promises, ‘you’re it for me’ you felt anger run through you, and slowly you realized this was phase two of grief, because that’s what it was, you were grieving a love loss.
“Hey, you still there?” Lois’s voice rang through your phone. “Sorry, I just— you’re right” you agreed. You stayed on the phone with Lois for another hour or two, before bidding goodnight.
The one day you decide to walk to work it decides to rain, you tried hailing a taxi, but with no use you decided to just power through, you would be a soaping mess but at least you weren’t going to be late, (or so you thought). “Watch out!” A voice shouted, you turned to look but felt yourself be carried away, one second you’re standing in front of a hot dog cart the next your under a shade, Superman holding you up.
“What are you doing? It’s raining you shouldn’t be walking” his tone was scolding. You were frozen, (and not just from the rain) “I’m— I’m sorry Superman— I didn’t— sorry” your teeth chattered as you stumbled over your words, Superman was holding you, Superman saved you. You had never seen him so close, only in the pictures Clark would use in his articles and the ones that would appear on the news. You hadn’t seen the similarities between the two until now, Clark was maybe an inch shorter, but he was always hunched over, and his eyes,the voice…it was unmistakable, “Clark?” You mumble, Superman’s (?) face faltered. “What— who—ar— I don’t know who—” He stammered , his cheeks (already red from the cold rain) deepened in color, and that sold it for you. “I know it’s you Clark” you deadpanned still shiver from the rain.
“It makes sense, I- I mean I just accepted that maybe you did have crappy time management but— now it makes sense— and why you always just disappeared throughout the day—“ you rambled, he didn’t know how to cut you off, he needed to be helping the justice gang(?) but also didn’t want to leave you alone, especially now that you figured it out. “I promise— we’ll talk later, I just— I need to help my friends and I need to get you home—“ “I was on my way to work” you cut him off. He shook his head. “Not like this, I’m taking you home I don’t want you getting sick” before you could protest he wrapped his arms around you and lifted you with him and before you knew it, you were flying. Oh God, this was too much to take in.
The rain was still cold against your skin, but having Clark’s arms around you, your face pressed against his chest as he flew you back home, kept you warm.
Clark led you inside your apartment, he made a beeline for the hallway cabinet, hoping all the towels were still there. He quickly wrapped the towel around. “Get warm, I’ll be back— I promise” you could only nod, still in shock. You boy— ex-boyfriend was Superman. And then it really hit you as you sat on the couch shivering, your ex-boyfriend was Superman, And he didn’t bother telling you once in the two years of your relationship?
An hour later or so (you weren’t exactly sure) Clark, still in his Superman attire, knocked on your apartment door. “Oh you came back” was the first thing that left your lips. “I promised I would” you hummed letting him in. “Yeah, well your track record isn’t the greatest” you shot, he nodded. “I deserve that” he ran a hand through his slick backed hair. “We should talk” you lead him to the couch, sitting down. “I don’t—“ he hesitated. A simple ‘I’m sorry’ was what he settled for. “I just don’t get it, we were together for two years, and you never once thought to tell me?” He listened to you intently, his hand rubbing the couches fabric nervously. “I know, I— I swear I planned on telling you— that night we broke up..” he paused, making sure you were looking at him. “I was going to tell you, I swear, but— but then the fear crept into my mind— what if they figured out Superman was Clark Kent? And what if they came after you to get to me…and-and, I couldn’t lose you— not like that” his voice cracked, you began to tear up, watching him break in front of you, all over again. “You could’ve just told me Clark… you should’ve told me, I would’ve been there for you—“ you sniffle, he nodded. “I know— I’m an idiot,” he said with a teary chuckle. The tension slowly eased, silence taking hold.
“I heard about your date” you broke it first, he looked at you surprised. “What dat— oh, no, that was just Steve starting a stupid rumor, I promise, I— I swear,” he took hold of your hand. “The thought of ever— ever loving someone other than you… it makes me want to vomit— I, I only want you” your lips quivered. “I went— I went on a date” you admit. You felt him tense but he didn’t let go. “Oh?” He sniffled, “how did that go?” You licked your lips. “He was nice but I told him about you— us, and how I wasn’t ready”
“I only went because I thought you were moving on” Clark had no idea how he could feel even worse but somehow he did. “I’m so sorry, baby” he used his free hand to cup your cheek, you leaned into him. “I wanna say it’s okay, so badly—“ he shushed you softly. “I know… I’m sorry— I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you’ll let me” he whispered, you let out a shake breath. “I need— I think I need time to— process everything Clark—“ he nodded, his thumb now caressing your cheek. “Okay, I— I understand” you sniffled, wiping your nose with your wrist. “Just give me some time, please?” He smiled lovingly at you. “Of course” he pulled you in kissing your forehead. “I’d wait a lifetime for you”
taglist: @cokewithcameron
