Feb 11, 2024
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What your favorite Izzy ship says about you
Blackhands
Your parents were your only model for what a relationship should look like and you never really got over it when they got divorced
Gentlehands
You're capable of basic media literacy and you can pick up on obvious sexual tension
Steddyhands
You're basic (not that there's anything wrong with that)
Cjizzy
You're not gay as in happy, you're Queer as in fuck you (also you're into some really nasty shit)
Jackedhands
You didn't get to attend any frat parties in college and you don't really regret it but you are curious what they would have been like
Stackedhands
You just really hate making choices
Ouizzy
You've seen those posts about introverts being "adopted" by extroverts and you're still waiting for that to happen to you
Rizzy
You're fascinated by the dialectics of violence and tenderness and the homoerotic undertones of both and also you're really into those posts about soup
Sprizzy
You use the word 'twink' as a synonym for 'gay'
Butthands
You're neurodivergent and extremely sexy
Bellhands
You're so picky when it comes to potential partners that you've decided to give up entirely in favor of an idealized fictional boyfriend
no one asked but these are the given names in my lesbian au:
Eden “Ed” Teach
- Like canon she also goes by Eddie and sometimes Eden she’s not picky.
Stephanie “Stede” Bonnet
- Stephanie started going by “Stede” after meeting Ed and thinking she was cool decided to emulate her.
- She doesn’t particularly mind people still calling her Stephanie.
Isabel “Izzy” Hands
- No one refers to Izzy as “Isabel” only her mother.
- She doesn’t particularly like her name but she’d never admit that bc her mother was the one who chose her name and she would never admit to disliking something her mother chose for her.
- Once Stede learns her given name she abuses it— mostly to get under her skin— until Ed has to finally tell her “yeah so maybe don’t do that.”
- Over time it become less mocking and more their “thing.” Stede only uses her full name in private.
Jackelyn “Jack” Rackham
- Jack is not fond of her name, which is why she never mentions it.
- The only person she’s told real full name to is Anne.
- Ed never stopped to consider any alternatives. Jack has always just been Jack.
- Izzy sorta just assumed Jack wasn’t tied to her real name and that she named herself that, bc it seems like something she would do.
- Stede guessed her full name, only bc she automatically assumes the names people introduce themselves as must be their birth names, unless it’s extremely obvious. So to her it was just common sense that Jack’s full name would be “Jackelyn.”
- And seeing as Stede has a habit of full naming people she’s not fond of, I think she would refer to Jack as Jackelyn in front of Ed and Ed would literally laugh it off like “that’s rich.”
Anyway! Have some rambling about an AU I thought of in my discord server a while back (mostly just gonna copy/paste it lmao):
Ed's super into paranormal shit, runs one of those youtube channels that reads stories/shows videos of hauntings/etc. He desperately wishes for something paranormal to happen to him. His best friend/fwb/'whatever they got going on', Izzy, is a skeptic.
Ed's new boyfriend, Stede, insists that he's a medium and that there's something haunting Izzy's house. Izzy always has an explanation though. (The lights are flickering because the place is old as shit and the electricity is shot. There are cold spots because the windows are drafty and the house isn't well insulated The creaks and thumps are the house settling or animals in the crawl-space. Etc.)
Ed calls him a buzz-kill but ultimately lets him be with his explanations until something happens that could have legit hurt Izzy (Honestly not sure what yet, maybe something falls that shouldn't have been able to or he gets locked in the basement all night in the middle of winter? Something like that.) and Ed is worried so he asks his other friend, Jack (who has his own youtube channel, where he does paranormal investigations as a medium), to come over and have a look to see if he can help.
Izzy thinks they're all full of shit but Jack agrees to not record it for his channel so Izzy lets Ed have this because 'I care about you Iz. I know you don't believe in all this shit but I'm worried and it would just make me feel better, letting you keep staying in this place, if someone came and looked at it.' and Izzy can't say no to that.
Izzy's surprised Jack isn't more like Ed (who's got the whole goth aesthetic) or Stede (who's got the whole 'white gay appropriating other people's cultural myths for clout' vibe) but just a normal (if a little frat-like) dude.
Jack's understanding of him being a skeptic and doesn't try to convince him, just talks about what he is thinking and feeling. He even commends him for checking the practical possibilities first (had the place tested for black mold/replaced the co detectors/etc) and he keeps getting little digs in at Stede so he lets them keep doing their thing without much fuss.
So he's not as dickish as he could be when he's told 'Yeah I mean, Steve's picking up on something, but man he's just barely dipping his pinky-toe in it to be honest? My heebies are fully jeebied!'
Stede starts to object about the name but Ed jumps in with a 'So the house is haunted?'
And Jack's like 'No. Whatever's here, it's not here for the house. It's here for Izzy.'
(I don't have much of the in between, because I like concepts but am notoriously bad at following through, but the gist is: Izzy gets full on possessed at some point, they all manage to save him, and afterwards Jack takes him out on a date to Waffle House.)
i think ed is naturally seductive in a “im a hot girl ive never had to try” kinda way. like he just hits you with those big baby browns and you’re already on your knees. meanwhile stede is naturally seductive in a haruhi from ouran highschool kinda way. the “you wear fine things well” line? thats haruhi behaviour for sure. and izzy... izzy is a great shag, but hes not a seductress. hes blunt. he’s a “walk up to you in the bar and asks can i suck you off” kinda guy. but luckily that works for some people (jack rackham)
New au idea; Ed's a famous comedian, Stede is a clown who's kinda bad at it, Izzy is a mime who tries to be serious but it turns into slapstick comedy, Jack is a funny storytime TikTok influencer but all his stories are actual crimes. They all fall in love. It's called Comedy of Errors. Thank you for listening
Ok so i guess I have a question then. I have an OFMD Heather's AU long fic. It's a college AU with a toxic frat, I've aged every character down by like 30 years, it only loosely follows the plot of Heathers, it casts Izzy as JD, Ed as Veronica, Stede as Martha, and Calico Jack as H. Chandler, it's about Ed's rampant daddy issues and it's another one of my terrible stackedhands aus from pre season 2. I don't like Izzy after season 2 so at this point if I finished it it would be a shameless comment grab, but I have like 35k words already so it would be a shame to scrap it so I'm asking
would anyone read it?
yes
no
I'm currently working on an OFMD horror game. It's Steddyhands with Stackedhands endgame.
I'm working on it in my spare time but I'm very busy right now so no promises however I want to show off all the things I'm working on for it so here everything so far: (I will add more to this post every time I have something to show :)) (also I'm crossposting to Twitter)