Quill: How come you didn’t turn on me, Rocket?
Rocket: Money wasn’t good enough.
Mantis: This may come as a shock, but I’m actually not very good at talking to girls.
Drax: Why, is there someone you are good at talking to?
Tony: It sounds like something the Guardians can handle. I can’t guarantee they’ll handle it particularly well, but –
Dr. Strange: If they got guns, and brains at all –
Tony: They’ve got guns.
Quill [over intercom]: This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then… explode.
Yondu: Stakar, tell me I’m pretty.
Stakar: Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion.
Yondu: ‘Cause I’m pretty?
Stakar: ‘Cause you’re pretty.
Quill: And I never back down from a fight.
Gamora: Yes, you do! You do all the time!
Quill: You wanna run this ship?
Rocket: Yes.
Quill: …Well… you can’t!
Yondu: Been a long time since Nebula shot me and that was due to a perfectly legitimate conflict of interest. I got no grudge.
[Quill, playing with action figures of himself and Ego]
Ego: Yes. Yes, this is a fertile galaxy, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this galaxy, and we will call it… “This Galaxy”.
Quill: I think we should call it your grave!
Ego: Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!
Quill: Har har har! Mine is a victorious laugh! Now die!
Dey: Do you have any idea how much trouble you’re in?
Rocket: Gee, I’ve never been in trouble with the law before.
Gamora: Sweetie, we’re crooks. If everything were right, we’d be in jail.
Mantis: Also, I can kill you with my brain.
Drax: You know what the chain of command is? It’s the chain I go get and beat you with until you understand who’s in ruttin’ command here!
Quill: I’ll be in my bunk.
[Thanos, pretending to read Gamora’s journal]: Dear diary, today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. Today I was found by my father and dragged home to help him destroy the universe, never to be seen by my friends again. It was the best day ever.
