#steddie things

[infinite-orangepeel]

steddie x having no understanding of boundaries when it comes to dustin not being their actual child

steve: henderson, eddie and i are gonna need you to sign a few documents before we get married next month

dustin: okay. what for ?

eddie: listen kid, there’s no easy way to say this-

steve: it would only happen in the worst possible case scenario-

eddie: and we’ll do everything in our power to prevent it-

dustin: jesus christ ! you’re scaring me. spit it out already !

steve: essentially, your father and i need you to sign off on us having shared custody over you—on the slight, slight, practically nonexistent chance that we ever get divorced.

eddie: precisely.

dustin: um. you guys do know i have a mom, right ?

[farttdust]

you know when you feel gross and kinda queasy and you don't know what's wrong but then you sit down and poop and life is great?

steve has had that experience too many times to give any other suggestions to the kids when their stomachs hurt other than "go take a shit."

and the various teens are like "ew, gross." but then they do and they feel 10x better and steve just looks at them like 😏

idk but

eventually it becomes his solution for every problem.

the kids are fighting? take a shit.

nervous about a test? shit.

tired? shit.

it carries over to robin too.

she's too nervous to talk to a girl? she just needs to take a shit.

cut to eddie being super nervous for a big gig with cc, like he's shaking and sweaty, and steve is like "don't worry baby, just go take a shit and it'll all be okay." and eddie's like ??? but does, and comes back and "it actually worked?" and steve is just like, "yeah."

[steviesbicrisis]

I feel like Eddie would randomly throw himself in Steve's arms screaming "catch me!" and then get annoyed at Steve's good reflexes.

He would totally keep it going by launching himself at the worst times (Steve holding a drink, Steve on the stairs, Steve helping a customer at work) and Steve would drop everything and catch him just to not make him win and also because he loves holding Eddie in his arms.

[eddiemunsxns]

Steve: what do you want

Eddie: …nothing

Steve: 😐

Eddie:

Eddie: I want more attention

[vesperalhemlock]

After doing the ballroom scene from Labyrinth, Kelmo asked for Romeo + Juliet. So of course, I did it.

This is quickly becoming a series because I have several more in progress haha

[polaroidtelevision]

Gender Armageddon by Shawna Virago is such a steddie song especially if it’s a femme Steve au. “In your prime you could charm the pitchfork from the devil’s arms.” Like shut the fuck up. “Last night I dreamed we stole a car and smashed through the gates of heaven. The god damn place was ready to blow in a gender Armageddon” or “Remember when we stole that car, didn’t know where we were headed, the whole damn town was ready to blow in a gender Armageddon” and. Oh. don’t even get me started on “You grabbed both my hands and said ‘Protect my secrets for me’”

[bramble-berries]

‘90s!Steve loves Hootie and the Blowfish. ‘90s!Eddie is contemplating strangling his boyfriend as he serenades him with “Hold My Hand” because he knows Eddie hates them.