@novasillies tagged me to do a WIP Wednesday (thank you so so much! Your snippet was absolutely INCREDIBLE.) and I am never on time for this, except today! I was determined to make it this time!
I wanted to share a bit where Derek gets cookies in payment for his radio services but it isn't ready so have some Stiles FM from the post apocalyptic wasteland instead!!
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"So. I've taken up knitting. Don't ask me where I got the wool. And definitely don't ask me where I got the needles. You don't want to know.
Okay I totally got sent them!
Guys, I got fan -mail!
How cool is that?
The only downside - actually I'm not convinced it is a downside - but like, my only comment, because I've totally got to have something to comment on, this is a radio show after all. It would be a pretty shit radio show if I didn't comment.
Anyway. My only comment is this:
So look. Listeners, I am super appreciative of you, you know that. Really. Truly. Deeply from the absolute bottom of my heart. I love you. But look. I'm not as dumb as I sound. I know a bone when I see one and honestly… well I mean…
Right. If you're scavenging, that's one thing. But like, if someone's carved out their rib cage just to get me a pair of needles, I don't want to know.
Actually that's not true. I really want to know - especially if you survived that shit - but I also very much do not. But also, I think you can absolutely remove a rib and survive - provided you don't die of sepsis or something. Maybe it gives you some added benefits too. Like maybe a bigger lung capacity? Maybe you can hold your breath for longer. That'd be cool.
But uh very much Do Not Do This. Just to be clear I am not advocating rib removal. Do not try this at home.
So uh, yeah anyway, I'm just going to say thank you for those lovely knitting needles and leave it at that. And uh. Public service broadcast announcement I guess: don't remove your own ribs. There is absolutely no need to take bones from the living.
I mean, have you seen the ruins out there? I imagine there's plenty of dead bones to go around. uh. Maybe… look there? I don't know.
Or, oh wait! Is this a custom out here? Giving people things made of bone? Is it just practical? Durable? Sharp? Covert weaponry?
Anyway. We're doing this. I said I could and I would. So. I am here to Stitch. And bitch.
My biggest bitch right now?
This fucking daylight.
Yeah that's right, you heard me.
Look. I am aware that complaining about the sun seems pointless and petty. But, listeners, I am both of fair polish decent and I am also deeply, intrinsically, petty. One glance at that eternal fireball and you might as well drop me in the pot because I am a lobster.
No but seriously. How is it worse now? Did you guys strip away all the atmosphere or something because that thing is barbecuing me every time I step outside. I mean I understand why jerky seems to be so popular now but still. I resent becoming food so easily.
Seriously. You should see my fucking face. I am a literal lobstrosity- minus the claws but I'm pretty sure I could build some. And, predictably, there is no sunscreen in the apocalypse. What? No Walgreens left to raid? Fucking hell. And there is no hat on earth big enough to shield me from that thing. It would probably incinerate it. Honestly it's so intense you're lucky I still have clothes.
I was led to believe that this was the water planet but apparently Beacon Hills has turned into death valley. Look. I just resent being cooked alive every time I want to leave my fortress. Because as if there wasn't enough to contend with, even the thing that's supposed to give us life is trying to kill us!
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Tagging the wonderful ever lovely and beautiful @greyhavenisback
Then no pressure whatsoever tags to: @violetfairydust @all-or-nothing-baby @gege-wondering-around
And literally anyone else who sees this and wants to share! Please do! There are SO MANY incredible writers and I really love seeing what everyone is working on. Cariad mawr pawb!
