12/11/2020 Journal entry
We read that it’s the submission of a strong woman most desired by men — yet what I’ve seen is that it’s the women viewed as “weak” who win their hearts, who make them feel “truly” needed.
We “strong” subs are fun to chase, an ego boost if you catch us — but then what? You leave… you’re the king of the hill and become bored? On to the newer shinier model? Or - “she’s strong, she can handle it, she will be ok”… In reality, we are not ok… it takes everything we have to trust ourselves enough to trust you - when you leave, you take the faith we had in ourselves. Does that make sense?
Better to be seen as weak and beautiful maybe? I feel like I just cracked a code, a secret I’ve not before been able to give words...
The thing is... most often, we “strong” submissives are kinda faking it, we are putting on this mask for the world - we survive because we simply don’t know how not to... but neither do the “weak” ones, they too would keep breathing, they too would find ways to survive - shelter, food, drink.
We who are seen as strong are just as afraid, just as in need. We are simply perceived differently because we don’t want pity - we won’t accept charity - we will struggle through with a smile and only cry in private. But - we will also stand by your side in battle, follow your lead and help you build the future you want, the kingdom you will rule. We will challenge you to grow, to be better than you were yesterday, we will (respectfully and privately) call you out when needed, we will stand up to you and stand up FOR you. We will make you and treat you like a king..
The mask I wear, the strength people see, maybe it is dishonest - but for Him, it will be cast aside. He will be the only one to see the fears and the tears, will be the only one capable of providing comfort, the only one trusted enough to allow that soft femininity to shine through, the one who sees the little girl inside me, the one who knows how deeply filthy my naughtiness runs, the one I will serve, for whom I will kneel…
But that mask of a woman seen as weak, the one who is demeaning her man, who yells and screams, who runs to friends and family to complain and cry, who freely provides guilt trips and false tears, withholding sex, withholding words of affirmation and love... that mask is pure manipulation...
