Discover Top Posts Tagged with #suga requests

❝ You are my paradise ❞

Plot: You and Yoongi fight and he says he hates you. So you decide to give him the silent treatment, but he tries everything to make you talk to him again.

Words count: 5,5k+

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Fluff

For anon, I hope you like it cutie!

-M.

The thump of the door closed behind your shoulder was the noise that welcomed your return home for more than three weeks.

The door closed behind your boyfriend without you having time to greet him or spend a few minutes with him.

At every comeback the situation worsened, you knew at the beginning of your relationship and you remember it again after almost two years. But this time there was something different and you couldn't understand. Your mind completely filled with thoughts, which annoyed you without interruption.

The first few days you hadn't noticed the difference, but now it was impossible not to notice. Don't notice those little details. Like the absence of his good morning kiss or the complete disappearance during the day, without a simple message or even a quick phone call.

Your chest was crushed under the weight of the consciousness that you would spend the umpteenth evening alone, with your dog trying to cheer you up and some melancholy song in the background. In short, the dream of every girl of 24 years for her evenings.. Especially when they have a boyfriend.

"Hello to you too.." Your hissing scattered in the air and your little cub of Jack Russell, the dear and adored Agust D, began chasing his own tail to draw your attention. "Hello puppy," you whispered gently, lowering and running your fingers on his short and soft fur.

He barked with happiness but you couldn't prove any spirit of sharing. Yoongi had disappeared for the umpteenth evening and this began to dig into your heart a bigger hole that was scaring you. In ways that you never thought possible, a fear that couldn't be explained.

Since the evening was ruined, you dragged your feet to your room and changed into something more comfortable. The pajamas, a beautiful zebra printed pajamas, was the best solution.

What could be better than warmth and softness and comfort?? You knew it, but you ignored to say the answer aloud otherwise your mood would have worsened further.

"D, what do you want to do??"

The puppy started barking, hopping around the house and dragging behind a little plush, making you smile slightly. At least someone in that house was happy, you found yourself thinking.

The kitchen, the second place where you were more comfortable after the bed, greeted you as you lit the lights and started thinking about what to eat. You weren't starving, but from that morning you hadn't touched food and knowing if you skipped another meal, you would have fainted at the least opportune moment.

"Mmm..."

"Hyung sent you some bibimpap and the cabbage kimchi, they're in the refrigerator."

Yoongi's raspy voice caught you unprepared because you would never have expected to hear it so soon. Thinking that now your mind was playing with your mind to make you believe that everything went well, you wouldn't turn around and keep looking at the various packs of ramen you kept in the cabinet. For any eventuality, of course.

Yoongi remained on the doorstep of the kitchen, astonished by the fact that you had totally ignored him. He was back to ask if you wanted to spend the evening with him in the studio because he knew.

He knew it was going on as always, that he was neglecting you and letting you go. Just as he knew that it couldn't happen every time, despite living well with that situation your heart suffered the consequences. He had spent whole months to make you really trust him, months that were also useless to him to trust at least a bit of you, and every time he walked away he knew that he cracked that trust. That pushed you to think the worst.

But now he was there, in the same room, and you didn't even spare a look to him. And he had to admit that it hurt, but without understanding that it was the feelings that you felt every single time you came home.

It was the first mistake of the evening.

He cleared his voice again, but your attention was still focused on your choice.

"Y/N."

"SHIT!!!"

The pack between your hands fell to the ground while you jumped, facing him and following your gaze you noticed him on the door. His annoyed look and the arms folded across his chest.

The dark circles under his eyes, the black beanie and that fringe that now almost covered his eyelids, his clenched jaw, his black irises that seemed somewhat darker. He didn't seem very happy and you wondered if his feelings could reflect your own.

"S-sorry.. I was thinki--"

"What did you think? Ignore me," he took off the beanie throwing it on the table, "it wasn't pleasant for me. "

You scoffed, feeling the skepticism open a gap in your mind. Really feeling ignored was unpleasant? You'd want to tell him he was welcome in your world, but you'd bite your tongue. A fight was the last thing your mind already full of negativity could endure.

Agust D, feeling that something was about to happen, began to wander near Yoongi's feet, but he ignored him and didn't wash his gaze away from you.

And you felt vulnerable. Under the indifference and repressed anger that those dark irises were showing clearly. The phone on the table gave a sound and you wanted to hide behind it while avoiding the way he was looking at you.

And that was the second mistake of the evening. The moment you stood out your arm to grasp it, something snapped into Yoongi's mind.

"Are you kidding? Y/N; I'm talking to you!"

With your arm in mid-air, you froze and turn your head towards him, observing how the rage was transforming his lines. Angry, but for what? You couldn't understand, in fact, you weren't the wrong one.

"Yoon..."

"And I came here to ask you to come with me. But apparently, my presence isn't welcome. "

And that was the third mistake of the evening.

Your arm fell limp, the strength with which you kept him lifted completely erased from your body. The tears threatened to burn on your cheeks, but forcefully you chased them back and swallowed the knot in your throat that had formed in a few seconds.

"It's a shame that your presence is an ephemeral thing in these weeks. Since you're never here and you don't even deem to recognize the fact that I exist and live in this apartment."

The air frozen, you saw him inhaled sharply and with your body, you turned towards him. You felt every part of you tense like a string of a violin, your heart was beating so hard to press against your ribcage as it wanted to get out and run away but you were so tired of his attitude that you had exceeded the limit.

Yoongi looked at you, his mind now completely fogged. He couldn't figure out why he was wrong, but everyone knew that anger provokes and makes the worst out of any person.

With quick steps he came up to you, you knew he could never hurt you, but you stepped back and lifted your hand.

And that hand, open and slightly trembling, was the only stop for Yoongi. He stopped mid-way, feeling his throat going on fire for the desire to yell at you and the bile corrode his chest. He felt hurt, but he didn't understand how intense your feelings of loneliness and abandonment were. You didn't feel anymore that feeling of belonging and it was a feeling that you had hoped never to try.

"Now I understand why everyone ends up hating you, Y/N."

And perhaps that was the worst mistake of the evening.

Your heart took a note of his words, which with hatred were putting their seed. Yes, many people you had given everything had ended up leaving.

Making you feel like you were the mistake, the wrong side of the story. But Yoongi.. You never thought he could use your past against you.

Even the fact that was the anger to make him talk was an excuse. He had no excuse.

"Goodnight, Yoongi," you hummed and walked out of the kitchen, avoiding touching him as you passed by. The dog followed you, his ears low and the tail between his short and thin legs.

He knew, unlike his master, how much you were suffering. He perceived it. Yoongi stood in the center of the kitchen, his gaze pointed where you were standing before. His hands began to tremble, but the error he had just made not yet clear for his mind gripped by anger.

With a sigh, he stepped out of the room and then stormed out of the house, saying that if that was your way of dealing with a discussion, he wouldn't have been the mature part in the couple.

The bed greeted your tired body when you threw yourself on it and the sound of the door didn't surprise you. Sighing you lured your pillow towards you, hiding your face against the soft material and letting the waves of pain begin to hit you. And you collapsed, slowly, accompanied by tears and the first real wound that Yoongi had dealt you.

~

The sky was clear, the kids played and your nephew was having the time of his life with his buddies. And you were there, on that bench, to brood over the events of the evening before.

The fresh air of November made you shudder, for this reason, you tightened stronger your arms around your chest, rubbing your hands on the fabric of the sleeves. Everything to have a pinch of extra warmth.

Brooding was not bringing you much satisfaction, indeed threw more gasoline on a rage that wouldn't have glow more.

"Auntie! Auntie!!"

You smiled at Taeoh's voice, waving your hand slowly to reciprocate and giggling when you could hear "your aunt is really beautiful." At least, someone who still thought it existed, you muttered while your phone emitted three sounds one behind the other.

Being aware that that precise sound was associated with his number did nothing but darkened your mood, but for the sake of your nephew, you kept smiling. Your smile was so wide that your cheeks pinched from the pain, yet that slight physical pain was better than what you had inside.

-I.. -

-I thought that.. -

-I'll see you tonight. -

Bitterness stroked your palate and slipped on your tongue like a hot liquid, reaching your throat. Clashing it and provoking you some difficulties in breathing for a few seconds.

The fact that he hadn't apologized didn't surprise you, you were aware that he didn't know how to apologize yet you felt broken. Perhaps more from his inability to put aside pride and actually tell you "sorry" that from what you had been told.

"Taeoh! Come on, your mother is waiting for us! "

"But Aunty!!"

Albeit with displeasure, you ignored his cute whines and you walked to your house, where your sister was spending her quality time filling your refrigerator with food.

The little hand of Taeoh tightened your forefinger with force, while at every step the building was approaching and he was telling you which wonderful games he had done with his buddies. You were only partially listening and your body stuck when you noticed a boy dressed completely in black, a bucket on his head and a mask to cover his face.

Yoongi noticed you and blocked, right in front of the large glass doors that acted as the entrance of the building. He seemed tired, his dark circles even more pronounced but the warmth you felt in your heart every time you saw him was missing.

And the solution to his behavior was formed in your mind fast, a bit devious but necessary. Min Yoongi would have received the treatment he deserved.. Starting from that moment on.

"Hey.. Hi. "

"Uncle Yoongi!!" the little Taeoh yelled, abandoning you to your destiny and rushing towards the boy. Who smiled, you couldn't see it but the mask had moved and you knew how affectionate he was with the child. "It's nice to see you little man.."

At that moment your sister opened one of the doors, covered by her new beige coat and with her blond hair moving to the light breath of the wind. You told her what had happened so a mock smile drew on her thin lips and Yoongi understood. He greeted her with education, letting her take the baby and you said goodbye with a small wave of your hand.

"The park..?"

The eye contact lasted a few seconds and he hoped in your answer, but he was disappointed when without saying anything you crossed him -exactly like the night before- and went into the building.

That was the first stab and Yoongi knew, having spent a sleepless night on the couch of his studio, that he deserved much more.

~

"Do you want Italian take away?"

Yoongi's suggest remained unheard of while you kept arranging the documents for the next day's presentation. He sighed, trying to keep calm but it seemed almost impossible. It was three days that you didn't speak to him and he was starting to feel the weight of the situation worsening more and more. On his shoulders, as a boulder impossible to move and that he had created himself.

He apologized, or so he believed. His "pretend that nothing happened" wasn't worth as an excuse and he was understanding at his expense the reality.

Composing at home had become a habit of those three nights, but he was sorry because he couldn't avoid the practices with the boys. And he dragged himself to the room, under the worried gaze of the guys who couldn't figure out what was going on. He missed your sudden hugs or your singing in the shower. He missed your ginger biscuits, despite not loving the sweets, and felt the lack of your caresses on his face just before falling asleep.

Yoongi sighed again and you lifted your eyes to the ceiling to that sound, pretending boredom. No, having Yoongi near was perfect but you had to keep on your way. It was too easy for him to pretend that nothing happened when he created a scar into you. A scar that, in those days, was infecting with fears that you thought you had driven out.

"Could you talk to me..? Please? "

The silence was his answer and he began to snatch his hair angrily, leaving the bedroom before worsening the situation. Agust D ran after him, looking for his attention and when Yoongi gave it to him, kneeling, he licked his cheek.

The rapper chuckled, messing the fur of the dog that barked satisfied and disappeared again into the room. At least someone, Yoongi thought, gave him attention.

"Don't you want to talk to me? Well.. Then I'll make sure you're forced to come to me. The war began, Y/N. "

With a cunning sneer and on tiptoe, Yoongi reached the kitchen. His goal right in front of his eyes. A small adrenaline rush ran through his veins when he started with his plan and knew, he was confident at 100%, that it would be winning.

After forty minutes your stomach proclaimed the surrender and began to grumble, you gave little patting on your belly trying to calm it but the sound became more vibrant and intense. With a sigh you would get out of bed and be careful not to bump into Yoongi, you ran into the kitchen.

He was sitting on the couch and oddly enough he didn't try to talk to you, ignoring you and he kept watching television.

"Yes, I understand, stop grumbling," you swear against your belly, resting your hand on it while you opened the refrigerator. Your favorite jam greeted you and joy began to crack inside your chest, anticipating the moment when the sweetish taste of peaches would invade your mouth.

Resting the jar on the table, you also took the sliced bread and sit on the kitchen counter.

And there came the first, strange, problem. With strength, you tried to unscrew the cap but your hand slipped and you risked to fall forward because of the sudden movement of your arm.

"I didn't remember.. It was so difficult to open a damn jar."

The second attempt went blank, it almost seemed like the cap and the jar had been glued together but you knew it was impossible. That morning you had loosened it without problems and now it seemed the most difficult challenge in the world.

Surrounding at having to give up the jam, with a plop you slipped down from the counter and take the jar of peanut butter from the shelf. In short, it was your special delight, after you had tasted it during a trip to New York had been impossible to part, and perhaps it was even better than the jam.

But with your high amazement, and a pinch of anger, you couldn't even open that jar.

You tightened it forcefully against your chest, one hand on the glass of the jar and the other firm around the cap. One attempt, two attempts, your face began to redden because of the effort, three attempts and at the fourth, you cursed loudly giving up.

You felt the sweat glue your hair against your neck and never in your life having a snack had been so tiring.

Your last chance was Nutella. Your eyes lay on the jar on the counter, near the water kettle, and there was almost a moment of uncertainty. You didn't want to hope to have your taste buds caressed by the sweet and enveloping flavor of the chocolate and... then find out that was another flop.

Your fingers felt a strange electric discharge when they caressed the jar of the spreadable cream. With waiting and the anxiety that shook your heart, you tightened the tip of your tongue between your teeth starting to turn the wrist with the cap hold tight into your hand.

Nothing. The Void. Failure on all fronts.

"FOR THE PETE'S SAKE! DAMN!"

The frustration led you to throw the jar against the wall, sliding it on the counter, starting to walk back and forth to the room in search of a solution to that strange conspiracy that the jars seemed to have concocted against you.

A light glowed after a couple of minutes. And you didn't know whether to be surprised or annoyed by the childishness that your boyfriend had just shown.

A boyfriend who had listened to your cursing with a satisfied smile on his lips, ready to welcome with open arms your pleas to help you.

The sound of your bare feet on the floor gave him chills, his gaze fixed on a program he wasn't following. He opened his mouth to answer, sure he would hear your pleading and miserable voice, flared it when he saw your figure go next to the couch and go to close in the bedroom.

No word, no supplication, nothing.

And that was the second stab, but Yoongi engrossed it, feeling more and more on the brink of despair. Because he didn't want to admit it, but he was starting to be scared. Terrified of ruining everything and that from one moment to the next you would slip away, leaving him to the misery that a life without you would be.

~

"She really is sensitive to the cold.. So.. Yes, this could work," chuckled of his intelligence while altering the thermostat and making sure that the apartment was cold. He set it so that the temperature couldn't be raised if not a certain time-out, running in the bedroom when he heard the door of the house opening.

He threw himself under the blankets, the computer immediately to fill the space on his thighs and the headphones well arranged on his ears. He had to pretend indifference, he had to succeed in his intent.

In the meantime, you slid your coat on the coat hanger and rested the keys in the hallway cabinet.

The difference in temperature was still elusive and in your ignorance, you went into the kitchen to retrieve a protein bar from the pantry. You had no time to prepare dinner, you were swamped with work and the table of the living room would be your companion for the whole evening.

Munching you entered the room and a chill of cold ran along your back, but you shook the feeling of it off because you connected it to the tiredness.

The soft cushions of the couch were a relief for your back, you sank on them with a sigh of happiness and despite the little desire, your computer had the best in your devastated mind.

After fifteen minutes of crazy typing on the keyboard, your body began to tremble, but you were still too focused on your work by not noticing. It was only when your breathing began to condense into whitish puffs in front of you that you sensed something wrong.

"What the heck.." You hummed, noticing the purplish of your fingernails and feeling like your hands were small popsicles. "I paid the bill, why the Fuck is so cold," your voice trembled, you grabbed the blanket on the armrest of the couch wrapping around your body feeling a rush of pure heat. But it wasn't necessary to stop your teeth from starting to beat them and your body from shaking more and more violently.

Walking to the thermostat, your mouth wide opened seeing the temperature on which it was set and your heart dropped at your feet. How could you survive a similar temperature in the place where you could control the hottest heat level for you?

The culprit was always him, you knew, but no, you wouldn't have succumbed that time either. Barely holding the waves of anger that were almost suffocating you, you went back to the living room and closed the computer. Useless working and slowly losing the sensitivity of every part of your body.

You entered the bedroom and Yoongi, the most innocent expression that you've ever seen painted on that face that you wanted so much to punch, took off the headphones looking at you with an arched eyebrow.

"Something wrong?"

The hope of hearing your voice was so much that he would want to jump on the bed, hug you and fill you with kisses. He had so much desire to be able to keep you in his arms that he didn't even realize that you had begun to change.

"Y/N..? Come to bed then? "

"No. I'm going to sleep at Youngjae. "

You answered coldly, without looking at him and hoping that your detachment would hurt him. As bad as he had done to you.

For Yoongi that was the third stab, stuffed with jealousy just at the thought of you in your neighbor's apartment.

"At least he doesn't make me die due to hypothermia and above all he doesn't hate me," what was you added just before getting out of your bedroom, threatening your heart to snatch it from his shelter if he hadn't stopped beating too fast.

Yoongi stared at the door, letting your words fit perfectly into his mind.

So while you were greeted by Youngjae's sweet smile and the warmth that you had hoped to find at home, Yoongi remained to look the door starting to prepare for the worst.

Lose you, completely.

~

"So between the lines, he said he hates you then he started doing all those little things that would have pushed you to him?"

You nodded, a cup of hot chocolate between your hands and the smell of the boiling liquid that invaded your nostrils. It was like being in paradise, especially thanks to your plush pajamas and the blanket that Youngjae had wrapped around your shoulder a few minutes before.

"And do you thought he just doesn't know how to apologize?"

"He simply is a proud bastard who fails to notice when he makes a mistake," you spit with sharpness, then drinking a sip of chocolate feeling your mouth celebrating for that goodness. "Yoongi simply can't understand when he goes over the line and the one that suffers it's me."

"Then why are you with him?"

That question caught you unprepared. Your gaze wandered from the boy with black hair and crescent-shaped eyes to the cup that you started to squeeze forceful.

"Because he's the only one to remember how I like coffee," your voice shattered against the cup while sipping, "because he's the only one to get up at four in the morning, although he loves to sleep, to bring me to take the train when I leave for my parent's house," a little smile stretched on your lips, "because he's the only one that when I enter the house and I don't salute our dog, he understands that there is something wrong. Because he's the only one who really spent his time to tear away the layers of fear and insecurity that stuffed the person who I am, " you sighed, resting the cup on the table and rubbing your hand on your face with dizziness.

"Y/N.."

"Because he's the only one, Youngjae, who has ever looked at me with the eyes filled with the only thing I have always craved for in my life."

Your neighbor looked you quietly, not knowing what to say but imagining the feeling that you had desired for so long. The tears that you had held back in those days began to fill the corners of your eyes and soon you felt them fell on your cheeks, but you didn't bother to dry them.

You were missing Yoongi so much that the weight in your chest wasn't diminishing. Your silent treatment tactic wasn't working, because he was too dull to understand. He was too immersed in his world to really understand that he was your air and the only thought of his hatred broke you into a thousand pieces.

"YOUNGJAE OPEN! YOUR DAMN BELL DOESN'T WORK, IT'S TEN MINUTES THAT I PUSH THIS DAMN THING. OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR. IF I FIND OUT YOU'RE HITTING ON Y/N, I DESTROY YOU. OTHER THAN TOUNGE TECHNOLOGY, I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS!"

"I think you have the proof that he's not as careless as you thought.." whispered an amused Youngjae, getting up from the couch and disappearing from your sight.

You snuggled up into a ball on the couch, your knees tight against your chest and your chin on your knees. You would have wanted to disappear and not face that moment, but you couldn't lie to yourself. It was what you were waiting for, you couldn't make the chicken and get away.

"YOUNGJAE DID YOU TRY TO STOLE MY GIRLFRIEND?" Yoongi's shouting was mighty, despite his voice usually so raspy and slow, and your eyes moved to the entrance of the room. Waiting.

"Yoongi, I didn't hit on your girlfriend.. You might not scream, though?? "

"WHERE'S MY GIRLFRIEND? REMEMBER MY THREAT, KID. "

Youngjae giggled, pointing the living room and the rapper, controlled by a homicidal fury against the boy, ran to the room.

"I am gay, Yoongi.." confessed the black-haired boy but Yoongi pretended not to hear it, shrugging his shoulders and blocking himself on the entrance seeing your condition.

His heart was almost torn from his chest because he didn't deserve it.

He didn't deserve a person like you since he could only hurt you.

"I Leave you two alone," Youngjae's whisper reached both, but neither of you considered it.

You're too tempted to hide beneath those blankets, hoping to disappear.

Yoongi too destroyed by the sight of the woman he loved with all himself in that state because of him.

His anger had completely vanished, leaving an empty space that was immediately filled with displeasure and approaching the couch, he knelt and rested his hands on your ankles. The only point discovered that he could reach, too scared to make too long steps.

"Go away.."

"Now you talk to me, huh?"

Your eyelids closed to your command and you ignored his attempt to dampen the tension, the weight in your chest getting heavier. So heavy that your body was reacting by going tense and preventing you from breathing normally.

"No, breathe.. Y/N, breathe and don't think," he whispered softly and the notch into you stomach loosened, albeit little, "think of the little Agust D, who is wagging waiting to be pampered by his gorgeous mommy. Think of Taeoh, that tomorrow will be with you all day long because you are too good to say no to those big and joyful eyes," the tone with which he was talking was slower than normal, his voice had lowered a few octaves and now it seemed almost honey, "Think of.. Whatever makes you happy."

The heaviness of your eyelids pushed you almost to close them altogether, lie down on the couch and sleep, but something hot touched your forehead and immediately your eyes opened wide.

He was stroking your forehead, moving the small locks of hair and his eyes were full of concern.

"Breathe Y/N.. No panic attack will come back to haunt you, not under my watch. "

"How do I breathe if you are so close and you’re invading my personal space..?"

Yoongi interpreted that phrase in a wrong way, the disappointment immediately washed his smile and nodding he rose. The panic struck you in full and your hand grabbed his wrist, tugging him and he fell on the couch next to you.

"Nononono.. stop, don't go away, nononono. "

"What the he--hey, I'm here," every word dosed and cautious, as he lifted the blanket and wrapped both, "I'm here, Y/N."

The warmth of his body against yours was useful, after not even a couple of minutes your eyelids started to close again but this time for weariness and not for a possible panic attack. And without noticing you fell asleep against his slightly edgy shoulder but that felt like the softest pillow in the world.

~

"You know Y/N.. I've been taking everything for granted lately, at least.. I was taking you for granted. Am I a real jerk? Yes, I know.. And even those attempts.. "

You turned around on the bed, snuggling more into Yoongi's arms who immediately went quiet afraid to wake you up with his random babbling. In his eyes, you seemed more than asleep, but actually, you woke up the moment he had taken you into his and you were back in your apartment, now warm and welcoming as always.

"I don't even know why I did it, you know..? That is.. I deserved the silent treatment.. But I think I didn't manage well the situation.. And I feel a huge jerk for that," he said and gently stroked your cheek, while you carefully breathed slow and kept your eyes shut, "I was afraid to lose you, Y/N. And only now I realized that you're feeling these things for weeks, right? That I neglected you, that I neglected the person who gave me the strength to deal with everything. What an idiot I am."

"Yes, you are."

"Shit, I knew you were awake, fuck," he swore and the redness began to color those cheeks usually so pale, even arriving on the tip of the ears, "Why the fuck were you pretending to sleep, you petty person?"

"Otherwise you would never have told me these things, you moron."

"Hey, watch your language," he pouted and opening an eyelid you looked at him, grinding your teeth pretending a disgust that was far from what you really felt.

"Ouch Yoongi, you're awful when you do that.. Please save my life and avoid it."

"The truth is, you're jealous, that's all."

"Jealous of an idiot, of course," you nodded, biting your upper lip, and he sighed, "I have a dumb girlfriend," he sighed again letting those words be stuffed by a despair that he really didn't feel.

"This girlfriend can always leave you, you know?"

The atmosphere quickly changed and the tension you saw on his face in Youngjae's apartment came back to drawing his lines. "Hey.. Yoongi I.. "

"I deserve but I'll be honest, I don't remember how it was my life before you and.. I'd rather keep not remembering. "

"W-why..?"

"Because I had the privilege of tasting paradise and I don't want to go back to hell Y/N. You are my paradise."

And the sincerity in his eyes made you realize that no, he hadn't ceased to love you and that he would give up anything in spite of not losing you.

#suga requests

Trending Tags

Recently Viewed Tags

#suga requests