Here | Sungwoon
genre: fluff?
member: sungwoon
requested: yess!
summary: you always choose to keep your problems to yourself until you met sungwoon, who changed your world.
side note: thank you for requesting anon 💓 i’m really so sorry that i took so long to write this ㅠㅠ i don’t know if this is messy but i tried my best writing this so i’m praying hard that this meets your expectations!!
whenever you ask your friends the impression they have of you
“reliable, strong, positive, happy” are usually the answers that you heard
but deep down in your heart, you know you’re nowhere near how your friends describe you
in fact, you are the complete opposite
yes, in the past, you’re like what your friends describe
you’re someone that does everything well
when it comes to grades, you’re always at the top of the list
even when it comes to school activities, you’re one of the black horses too
at some point in time, you even got friends who get envious of you for being able to achieve so much in life
even your parents
they expected so much from you
just when everything seems to be happening the way you want life to be
just when you thought things are going well
after working so hard and putting every blood and sweat into anything you do
you thought you could finally breathe and say, “i’m doing good”
but life doesn’t simply let you go like this
just within a few months, your life changed and crumbled down
for some reason, you started becoming more careless in your exams
you could gradually see your rank drop in each term
even when it comes to school activities, you gave your best but it is still isn’t the best
since you’re class president, you are expected to take care of everyone else well
but the truth is
when everything started changing for the worse
you felt so weak
you didn’t know what to do when everything changes
all of your strengths became your weakness
even your smiles
you smile not because you’re happy, but because you want to cover up
cover the fact that you’re scared
you’re afraid of the reality
you became a coward that didn’t want to face the reality
when everything started falling into pieces
“things will get better”
that phrase constantly appeared in your mind
you brought yourself to believe it but you know yourself well
as days pass, who are you lying to?
“things are never getting better”
no matter how hard you try, you just couldn’t pull your grades up
when you accepted your fate, you thought you should reach out for help
maybe people will
but fate seems to enjoy seeing you suffer
whenever you tried reaching out, no one seemed to be beside you
it always feels like you are in a room with a glass dividing you and everyone else
“what do i do?” you asked
“everything will be fine, y/n! you’re y/n after all, nothing is impossible for you” your friends laughed
even when you wanted to someone to lean on, no one was there
when you turn to your parents, you know that isn’t a wise choice either
they noticed that your studies and school activities have gotten worse
and as if it wasn’t enough, they compared you to your siblings
whenever you hear your parents sing praises about your siblings
that pain in your heart is practically indescribable
it feels as though someone is rubbing salt onto your wounds
“what about me?” you wondered
as time pass, you started feeling smaller and less significant
the pile of worries and problems continue to form in your heart
that burden on your shoulders gradually got heavier
while people’s expectations of you continued to rise
and no matter how many nights you cried your eyes out, you know you still have to do this
you know you still have to be the person that everyone knows, and not the real you
with that, you carried on going to school as usual
continued carrying all those responsibilities on your shoulder as usual
you thought you will never be able to see the light in your life ever again
until you met sungwoon
sungwoon is one of your classmates
and also the vice president of the class too
since you guys work together most of the time,
the both of you have a very close relationship together
he is always around helping you with class activities
even when you guys ended class late, sungwoon would offer you dinner
and sometimes, to even send you home
since it’s been such a long time that someone actually cared for you
you couldn’t suppress that fluttering feeling in your heart
there is no one except sungwoon that would care about your feelings
even during those times where he walked you home, there are countless of things that you guys would talk about
you enjoy his company
whenever sungwoon is around, you feel comfortable
just within a few months, you feel like you’re about burst into space when sungwoon told you his real feelings for you
you could still remember the exact words that he said
“i like you, y/n. can we get together?” sungwoon confessed
you didn’t bother trying to hide that smile on your face
instead, you hug sungwoon in response
just like that, you thought you finally could feel happy once again
but with the reality hitting you, you got troubled all over again
since midterm is coming soon, everyone started studying hard for their exams
your stress level rise once again, knowing that so many papers are coming up
and now that your grades have dropped, you know you have to study real hard
besides that, you got reminded of all the expectations that your teachers, your parents have been giving
instead of heading for dates, sungwoon and you would hang out at the library to study instead
without wasting time, you buried yourself in your books and notes
on the first day, you got pretty lost
everything just feels so overwhelming
you studied a few chapters of chemistry here and there
you tried memorizing all those equations but only a few managed to get into your mind
“i got a week to do this so it’s okay” you sighed for the thousandth time
but you are not too sure if you’re doing fine
sungwoon seemed to be studying well
“i felt productive today, i studied almost 5 chapters today” sungwoon said as he stretches
to be honest, chemistry isn’t your best subject
and because you’re weak in it, that made you worry more than usual
you thought of asking sungwoon for help
but you thought you would be slowing him down
and drag him with you
whenever you’re on your way home with him, you always contemplating to ask for help or not
“to ask or not” you hesitated
before you could make up your mind, another day is gone
and you’re just another day closer to your exam
“maybe i should just try studying harder” you shut your eyes at the thought of your chemistry paper
strangely, those thoughts kept you up the whole night
and even after all those tossing and turning, you’re still not getting sleepy
you decided to get up and start studying at that ungodly hour even though you still got class the next morning
when you reached class, that’s when the sleepiness kicks in
you know you got to listen in class but your eyes are not cooperating
"don’t sleep in my class, y/n” you got embarrassed when your teacher called you out
“is there anything happening? you seemed like you didn’t get any sleep” sungwoon approached you
“nah, i’m fine, don’t worry” you gave a faint smile
shortly after, it is break time and that is the period that you look forward to every day
but probably because of all the stress, you didn’t want to move and have any food
“are you sure you don’t want to eat? what about drinks?” sungwoon offered
you shake your head and decided to look at your notes again
“i have to study no matter what” you sighed
and right after lessons, you continued studying with sungwoon
after so many hours, you started getting frustrated at yourself for not being able to understand anything quickly
even when you head home with sungwoon, you carried on looking at your notes
you thought by doing this, you would eventually understand everything
but days have passed
and you only managed to get a few lessons into your head
what’s worse is that
your insomnia at night has gotten a lot worse
during your meals, you didn’t want to have anything
you didn’t give yourself any breaks as well
you just wanted to push yourself to the limit
until a day where sungwoon stopped you
“y/n, talk to me” he stood in front of you
you ignored sungwoon and continued walking past him
“y/n, i know there is something going on, please tell me”
“i’m really worried seeing you like this” this time round, sungwoon hold onto your shoulder and look into your eyes
for some reason, you could feel tears forming in your eyes after hearing sungwoon
you looked away, blinking quickly, hoping that your tears would dry up
“n-no, i’m fine, sungwoon” you remove his hands away
“i have eyes, y/n. i know there’s something bothering you”
“i’m your boyfriend, y/n. you can tell me anything that is bothering you”
that is all to make you go soft
you lost it
all those tears that are threatening to fall, starting to pour out
you crashed into sungwoon’s arms and cried
“just let it all out, y/n” sungwoon said as you could feel his hand going up and down your back
you have no idea how heavy your heart feels right now
you know sungwoon’s shirt is probably wet right now
but he still patiently waited for you to be okay
sungwoon brought you to a quiet place to calm you down
and he would even initiate hugs in between, knowing that you’re not okay
“i got so worried seeing you in this state, not eating well, not sleeping well and you’re constantly studying”
“and i feel so terrible because i don’t know what’s happening and i couldn’t make you feel better” sungwoon apologized
“you know i’m always here, y/n”
hearing his words made you happy and sad at the same time
sad because you’re dragging sungwoon into your problems
while happy because it’s been such a long time
a long time where you had someone beside you, actually hearing everything you had to say
“to be honest, everything is wrong. nothing has been going well and no matter how hard i tried, things are only getting worse” you sighed at the thought of everything that you been through
it is so draining
and all it takes for you to cry again is sungwoon’s hug
from the day that you started dating him, you know he is the one
you know he is someone that you could lean on
but because everyone else seemed so far away, you have forgotten the feeling of love
or to be exact, the feeling of being loved
looking at sungwoon now made you wonder what did you do to deserve him
all you did in your life is mistakes and you could meet such a great man here
“even when everyone else has turned their back against you, i will still be here for you, y/n. regardless, i promise”
“i don’t care if it is 6 am in the morning, i will listen to each and every one of your problem, y/n.”
“since i’m your boyfriend, i promise to take care and be here with you” sungwoon assured you as he intertwined his fingers with yours












