Today has been the worst day I've had in so long. A part of me regrets going to my family's place yesterday. It just ended like I thought it would. My father yelling at me telling me how "easy" it probably is to get clean (hes never used drugs) while I'm literally having a seizure from drug withdrawls and bawling my eyes out. Also my boyfriend missed his shot in his hand and his whole hand is numb and swollen now and he refuses to let me take him into a hospital. So he did the rest of the dope we had so he could get well, at least the part he was going to do later. Because he did his nighttime shot now he's probably going to be asking for some of mine which I don't wanna do. Then we're going to argue more than we already have today. I keep having seizures and panic attacks over and over and I can't stop crying. Tonight I plan on taking all the xanax and dope I have and hoping that it kills me or at least gets me super fucked up enough for forget all this. I'm so depressed, hurt, angry, and in pain right now.
