#sxf redacted

[caramelmiacchiato]

actual footage of me every time little [redacted] appears on screen

[piracytheorist]

Just had the thought that while [redacted] was a soldier, he didn't have anyone to write to. He'd be surrounded by fellow soldiers anxious to get a letter from home and to write back, and he'd never have such a letter he'd receive or send. And how many of those people did he watch die, knowing that their loved ones would never see them again, while he, the one with no loved ones or even a home to return to, kept surviving?

[heartyhiroshi]

Just my thoughts on Loid

I wanted to ramble and the community here is soooo cool everyone comes up with amazing analyses, so I guess I wanted to discuss my favourite character with others ^^

(been editing this here and there to correct mistakes or add pictures or go deeper into my thoughts, so that's why things might seem different if anyone's rereading)

In 2022 when I first started watching the anime back when it had only 3 episodes (which is crazy to me) and then started reading until I caught up to Loid's backstory, I didn't really get loid. I had 0 braincells so I didn't get the different dimensions, the layers, in fact I didn't even get what I was supposed to call him because who was Loid? Was he Loid forger? Twilight? And there's redacted too, where does he come into this?

Then I saw this diagram

It's not the exact one but this is my recreation of it, with some changes. It was perfect, and I started to understand Loid better.

When I use "loid" I'm referring to the character as a whole, who is different from "Loid Forger"

There's seemingly 3 or 4 main divisions, depending on if you see the overlap as it's own division.

There's Loid forger, who is the role loid is playing. The fakest of loid, the psychiatrist who lost his wife and had a young daughter, who's just a nice guy and a bit of strict father when it comes to his daughter's education, but first and foremost he's a family man with a deep kindness. He's a guy who was against Donovan's position but then started to change his mind when hearing Damian's report "from Anya". He usually had big round happy shiny eyes and preppy voice.

Then there's twilight, who Loid thinks is his core, his actual self. Twilight is the agent who is cold and ruthless, who is efficient. He's talented and aware of everything. He's westalis's best spy. Twilight is the one we mainly see, the one Anya hears in Loid's mind, the one who has the narrowed eyes, a cold voice and much more calculated demeanor.

There's an overlap between these two sometimes. I like to see this overlap as when twilight starts to act like Loid forger but out of personal reasons instead of any logical reason. When he's just kind and loving to Yor and Anya without and real reason. When he acts fatherly or like a loving husband because he feels affectuon for them. When he cares about their opinions and thoughts and emotions even behind closed doors. When he's acting as "Loid forger" even when they don't need the act. On some level he always needs to be loid forger, but it's toned down, and it's always a conscious act. Around Anya especially Loid is much more casual. It's when these actions are natural rather than a conscious thought done to achieve something that the overlap exists in.

This strange little zone Loid as twilight isn't used to navigating is because it ventures into affection and attachment he isn't supposed to feel. This version of him appears like in the mole hunt arc where he calls Yor "Yor-san" instead of "Yor briar" like other agents do. It's the one that got immediately defensive of Yor against swan and later almost punched him for Anya's sake.

But the thing is, I feel like Loid doesn't particularly like this overlap. He thinks to himself right after Yor reassures him it's fine: why did he get mad? She's not even his real wife. With all his identities before he's had no problem separating himself from the act. But this overlap starts to get to twilight, leaving little cracks in his mentality that encroach on twilight as a spy, so "for the mission" is born.

Because now he can relate all these actions he can't logically explain and rationalise them. He can choose to go out of his way to treat Yor even when everyone believes them to be a lovely-dovely couple; or go easy on Anya's studying and let her have fun when she needs to be working to get Stellas, but it's all "for the mission": keeping them happy is not something loid personally wants to do (he does) but simply a rational action twilight performs to maintain the important factors of operation Strix. It denies any personal attachment or affection in his actions so he can tell himself he's still distant.

In this diagram, the overlap starts small early on, but I think as the series goes on, it grows. It grows until the mole hunt arc where he realises how big that overlap is. What happens with wheeler makes him see how soft he's become, because twilight of the past would have killed Yuri. But Twilight now knows that it would devastate Yor to lose Yuri when he means so much to her. He knows he'd be too guilty to face her. I love that someone pointed out whenever we see twilight disguised, his real self is behind his disguised self because he's quite literally the shadow hiding under a mask. But right after he leaves Yuri alive, he's in front, looking tired and haunted and just so exhausted on a bone deep way.

I've come to interpret this as him being exposed; his softness being fully exposed to anyone there aka loid and us. As his true self, his true emotions. He's not hiding as twilight behind his disguises. And just, gosh he looks so tired, it makes me so sad.

At the centre of everything, we've got redacted, who before the flashback we didn't have a name for. Redacted is loid before all the trauma. Redacted is also Loid during the war. Redacted is who Loid has always been. Redacted has been hidden and erased and pushed down so twilight so can exist: so twilight can make a better world. But redacted is still there, even though I don't think Loid knows or notices his true self is still there. We see redacted when Loid looks at the briar siblings and feels jealous they always had each other through the toughest times.

Redacted is who tells Yor about his mother, then it's twilight who then acts as Loid forger to reassure Yor, still completely meaning the words and praise he has to give to her.

We see redacted right after Loid wakes up from his flashback, and instead of scolding Anya, or even praising her in his head for making progress with plan b, he tells her something very fatherly and loving. He tells her to cherish her friends, remembering his who are long gone. I wonder if Anya saw them in his mind. To me, this is why Anya is so surprised by his response. She only really knows twilight. She's not old enough to understand the layers to loid. Her "papa" is Twilight who lies when he's acting as "Loid Forger." But in this moment, he wasn't twilight. Obviously she's not really seeing it like that, but he responds in a way she totally didn't see coming based on what she knew. She related getting closer to Damian as "plan B," expecting Loid to do the same. But he sees it differently, showing it isn't twilight at the helm. One could mistake it as Loid forger, but given we see him think about redacted's friends, we know it's Loid's real self.

Redacted has softer eyes than twilight but they're not as wide as Loid forgers. They have a small shine too, from what I've seen, but that might not always be entirely accurate.

Twilight can only exist because of redacted. Because of what redacted when through, twilight exists to make sure no one else ever goes through that. I'm not the first to point this out, but in the Japanese manga, loids famous line "a world where children don't cry" I believe the larger writing, the katakana, reads "kodomo" - children, but the smaller text next to it on hiragana reads "jibun" - self, or myself. Having seen the previous panel of redacted crying, we can infer what twilight really means is "to create a world where no child has to cry like I did."

(And beautifully, Loid quite literally "rip his mask off" as he thinks that to himself. But also who was it that pointed out his back was turned t us as he admits that, because he would never say it to anyone. He doesn't say it to world, Anya and us only see it/hear while seeing his back. There was something else to be said about this but I can't remember -_-)

At his centre, loid wants to make sure no one ever has to cry like he did. Feeling so powerless all he could do was cry... Twilight's core, his ideal and his reason for doing everything he does is all born from redacted. Twilight's detachment is also because of how redacted loved and the lost everything he loved. It's likely Loid is afraid of the grief he went through. He doesn't want to go through it again. It was so bad he turned to revenge and bloodlust to cope, only to find out he's been mercilessly killing humans just like him, to find out he's been nothing but a pawn who knew nothing, who changed nothing by wielding a gun, who was still so powerless as he was when he was a child.

Twilight is Loid's safe space. It's not actually safe since being a spy is dangerous and exhausting, but as twilight loid can avoid everything that hurt redacted so bad. He can avoid feeling the love that hurt him so badly when it was lost. He can avoid ever being so ignorant and being used by his country to slay "monsters", he can avoid being so ignorant he stands by as his friends walked to their deaths. Twilight controls the very things that redacted could not. Twilight is meticulously in control of everyting. He feels like a response to all the trauma redacted went through. Twilight corrects everything that wronged redacted.

So whenever he's in that overlap, it's likely a source of stress as he's out of the Twilight zone which not only is he used to after a decade of being a spy, but is a mindset that has kept him alive all these years. It's hard for him to step out of it, so I always find myself patient when he doesn't act as fatherly or loving as he want him to. When he refuses to open up, remains dense or cold or distant. It's hard for him too. Trauma can't be easily undone, and his is quite severe. It's only been 6 months so far.

Being a spy and being genuine as a person, father, husband etc are in opposition for him. He's meant to be fake but every time he is it doesn't particularly work with the Forger family, either because Anya can tell or Loid feels guilty for lying to Yor. In @piracytheorist's post

Post by @piracytheorist · 4 images

💬 2  🔁 42  ❤️ 318 · While it's valid to say that Twilight's reaction to the whole hijacking incident was underwhelming, I think it plays a r

this is a really nice post that is kind to manga readers who were disappointed with Loid's lack of reaction but also does explain he is caring in his own way, in much more subtler ways. I talked about how he's stuck between those 2 areas (in the tags), so he ends up compromising in small ways. He does little things like driving Anya to school with a car he got from WISE after the bus hijacking, and he can justify that as Loid forger being worried for Anya after such a tragic event or simply caring for Anya after such a traumatic event, but we all know he's just genuinely worried and wants to make sure himself she's safe. But when he thinks about Anya's trauma, he immediately links it to the mission. It kinda saddens me to be honest, because he's so intent on denying his attachment, but the mole hunt arc shows us he knows. Every time he makes progress, as Twilight he has to regress, to be cold and detached, to be the spy that considered abandoning Anya and would have killed Yuri. But if he keeps acting as that spy it gets in the way of being a good father and husband for operation Strix.

Loid has changed huge amounts - it's subtle but there. There's a moment in the manga that shows this but I want to avoid manga spoilers, and there's plenty in the anime. All those times he shows genuine care and worry, even if it's under the guise of "for the mission." But compared to Yor and Anya, who are freely allowed to grow for the better, anytime Loid starts to grow it's in conflict with Twilight, which is Loid's natural state of being and how he, ideally - in his mind - needs to be. So out of the 3 of them, he's changed the least. I remember endo mentioning this in an interview when asked the question "who's changed the least and the most."

Ok I had more but Tumblr's being dodgy so I'll save the rest for another post if I can be bothered

[goodoldfashionedengineer]

TwiYor soulmate AUs are great no matter which soulmate method is used

Sharing pain? The angst of Yor realizing that her soulmate is probably Westalian, because the pain she felt matched with the time eastern Westalis' provinces were attacked. Of how she will probably never meet her soulmate or only as the enemy. Of them both harbouring so many scars, burdening the other with it but still choosing to fight

"What you write on your body appears on their body?" Again, really great. I'd imagine Loid would have a much harder time getting a pen, so imagine him writing messages with ash, gunpowder, mud, blood-. Yuri writing toddler-threats to Loid with some sharpie. Them writing sorry and goodbye messages to each other every time they think this is gonna be the end, only to survive

Soulmate identifying marks? Twilight is at such a loss of identity, maybe WISE would even have them removed for safety reasons. He's a spy, he can't have a family so it doesn't matter anyway. Maybe most Garden members do it too, so they don't burden themselves with the thought of "what if". Maybe Yor sees Loid and gets a tingle in her stomach, but then she sees he has a daughter so she dismisses the thought of him being her soulmate. Because surely Loid would only have a child with his soulmate. And because of these assumptions and because they are so afraid of stepping on each others toes, that the soulmate conversation comes up way latter than it should

You have each others names tattooed? I don't know how naming conventions are in the sxf universe, but maybe Twlight's birthname could be immediately recognized as Westalian and maybe Yor's name is distinctly Ostanian. This idea of "Oh, you're destined to the enemy, you must be a traitor then. Because those people are monsters." Yor being pressured by society to get into a relationship but knowing that it will not be the love of her life. Loid being hesitant in choosing Yor, but still risking it because, well, if they're soulmates, there could be some natural instincts that would make it less likely that she would leave

[eccentwrit]

I think Twilight/[REDACTED]'s father is still alive. I'm not sure if I quite believe he's the SSS Captain like many are speculating, but I do think he is alive and will come back at some point. Because:

1. We never actually see him die- his death is implied. The last time someone from Twilight's childhood was implied to have died (his friends), we later saw they had actually survived.

2. Twilight's father making a reappearance would make for a really juicy foil to Twilight's current predicament vis a vis his "fake" family.

If Twilight's father is still alive, then there are three scenarios we have to work with:

He never came back because he thought his wife and [REDACTED] were dead, and therefore saw no reason to return.

He wasn't able to return because he was held prisoner somewhere.

He never came back because his mission/assignment/work in Westalis was over.

Options 1 and 2 would still be fun to explore, since Twilight has so much guilt and unresolved issues surrounding his father's sudden demise. In these scenarios, I think Twilight might struggle with wanting to reconnect with his father versus maintaining his cover. It could be interesting to explore the sudden collision of his life before and after becoming a spy.

Option 3, however, is particularly fun to me because it throws Twilight entirely into Anya's position. I think others have noted that there are quite a few similarities between Anya and [REDACTED], and this would just be one more thing to add to that pile. If Twilight's father's death was faked so his father could be recalled/reassigned, then Twilight has to confront that he knows exactly what will happen to Anya and Yor at the end of Strix if he leaves. Additionally, Twilight would have to grapple with his feelings of being on the other end of that deal, where he was the one abandoned. Not to mention, if his father works for Ostania, then he has to grapple with all the implication of that- was his father involved in planning the war? was he trying to stop it? what are his positions now? is his father an ally or a threat? BUT, what if his father worked for Westalis, or even WISE? Imagine the betrayal if WISE knew his father was alive this whole time and never told him- if WISE let him think he was alone on purpose? What if his father is the reason he was recruited in the first place?(Why was he recruited by WISE? Do we actually know what caught their attention? WISE reached out to him and went through the effort to dig up his old name- why did they do that?)

There's just so much that could be done with this that I can't think that Twilight's father won't become relevant again in some form or another.

[spencer-is-someone]

so there’s this Vocaloid song called “the transient apple salesgirl” about a girl who sells apples in a town where people live forever, and the apples grant you the ability to die of old age. AND THE CHARACTERS IN THE MUSIC VIDEO LOOK JUST LIKE REDACTED AND BABY YOR

Like that’s literally them, especially with the boy. It’s almost scary

here’s the song btw

[abdy-18]

sxf headcanons

just bc im bored hasgjh

Twilight sleeps in jeans

[REDACTED] was the youngest of his group of friends, so he was the only one who had to lie about his age to join the army.

Even if nowadays Twilight is a very tall man (he is 1'87m) when he was a child, (after his parents died), his growth was affected due to malnutrition that he had being an orphan in the war, so he was shorter than a child of his age should be.

Loid is the one who chooses most of Anya's outfits.

I think Anya is going to be short even as an adult (I don't think she's going to be taller than 1'60m.) she will always be the shortest of her friends. 😭 haskhdh

I don't remember where I saw it, but here on Tumblr someone noticed that when she's with Yor, Anya wears one ponytail, while when she's with Loid, Anya wears pigtails, and now my mind can only picture Loid brushing Anya's hair in ponytails during the crusader arc. man i wish i could draw

Considering that the sxf story takes place in some year during the 60's, I can imagine Loid and Yor taking Anya to the premiere of the 101 Dalmatians (1961) or the Jungle Book movie (1967) in the cinema.

Loid and Anya have put on a little weight since living with the Forger's. Since Operation Strix began, Twilight cooks 3 healthy meals a day and Anya had no good quality food at the orphanage.Both of them look healthier now :D

When she grows up, Anya has the same tolerance for alcohol as her mother.

I feel like Anya's hair color only looks pink to us viewers, in universe her hair would be a reddish color.Something like this idk:

The same with Yor and Yuri's eyes, they look fantasy colored to us (red) but in the universe they are more of a hazel color.

[i-draw-sp]

*runs in as fast as i can because i need to eat dinner*

please enjoy this spy x family fan art. i think they should all interact. as a treat.

oh gosh please say the quality didn't get EVEN FURTHER FRIED by tumblr. please click on it maybe that'll help somehow. 😭