Kurogiri: You're sure you can handle yourselves while I'm gone for the weekend?
Shigaraki: Yeah yeah, we'll be fine.
Kurogiri, walking in: I'm back... WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE!?
Dabi, in full body cast: Well, once you left Shigaraki realized that he didn't know how to cook, so Spinner volunteered, but he forgot that metal can't go in the microwave, and it blew up on him.
Spinner, still slightly charred: So we decided to get takeout, but I was too sore to drive so I tried to coach Dabi... it didn't go well.
Mr Compress, bandages wrapped around his stomach: I managed to take the subway and get us some Chinese food, but Toga didn't recognize me in my disguise.
Toga, covered in bug bites: I saw him walking nearby and didn't recognize him, so I stabbed him 37 times in the stomach, and stole the food, but I tripped coming in the door, knocking myself out and dropping the food, which Tomura slipped on and hit his head on the bar, knocking himself out. Apparently there are fire ants here, and they were attracted by the spilled food.
Shigaraki, also covered in bug bites: When I hit the bar it knocked over the stress relief scented candles we had on there and lit the bar on fire.
Twice, covered in ash and burns: I managed to get the fire out eventually though!
Kurogiri: What about the upright piano embedded in the ceiling?
Dabi: I honestly did not see that until just now.