The Ugly Duckling
I met bachelor number 4 at Broadway shopping centre at a small cafe. After getting dropped off by my mother at the train station later than I’d hoped, I was a few minutes late rocking up to the venue. That didn’t stop Prep Boy from sitting down and ordering a coffee and some banana bread for a late breakfast as he waited. A man who knew what he wanted and wasn’t going to allow propriety to get in his way. At least, that’s the assumption I got as he tried to hug me as if we were old friends when I finally arrived.
I quickly disabused him of that notion. The old friends bit. As I’ve mentioned before, I”m not a hugger. Physical touch is basically anathema to my very being. Keeping people at arm’s length means they are less likely to hurt me.
On that note, maybe I really ought to pick up Aikido or other forms of martial arts as a form of self-defence. I mean, yes, I did learn a bit of karate when I was younger but I’d dropped it when I was studying for the selective high school exams.
So, like the awkward Asians that we were (well, more me than him), I settled for a handshake. The best of both worlds, and something that was lacking during the heyday of COVID-19. Although, now that I think on it, I kind of miss doing friendly elbow bumps. So, if you want to boop funny bones, let me know!
After I’d ordered my own drink, hot chocolate (always!), we got to talking.
I learned he had a sister and a number of brothers, that he attended a fancy private school in his youth and that he had just enjoyed a work Halloween event where he went dressed as one of the faceless guards of Squid Game. Except, he didn’t have the proper PlayStation mask so, instead, he opted for one fashioned in the like of a kitsune.
And just like that, he dominated most of the conversation. Not that I minded, dear reader. It allowed me to sit back and listen and learn (and possibly judge). On the downside, he did try to explain where Waverley was (to which I replied most sarcastically) and seemed unsure if I knew the Overwatch characters. Mate, I might not have played the game because it’s an online team shooter but I’d have to be living under a rock not to who who Mercy, D.Va and the rest of all your mains were.
After all, I live and breathe video game popular culture.
To my detriment.
But as they say: Heroes never die!
Besides, if I didn’t know something, I’d probably ask for clarification or just Google. I mean, I had a friend that never provided context to their wild ramblings. And if I could deduce what they were talking about from scraps of information, I’m sure I wouldn’t be struggling to understand your nostalgia for the ‘good ol’ uni days of 2016.’
That, perhaps more than anything else was an indication that a relationship between the two of us wouldn’t work.
Maybe I’m too cynical and jaded, but the sense I got was that Prep Boy wasn’t all that mature and that it would be an ongoing issue with regards to compatibility. In his desire to impress, he only proved to be somewhat belittling and condescending with his assumptions. In the words of Shania Twain: that don’t impress me much.
The other issue that I could not get past, and which I regaled to all my friends when pestered about my love life, were his teeth. Yellow and covered with plaque, the top row so crooked that it would scare even the hardiest criminals to get back on the straight and narrow.
Can you imagine kissing a mouth like that? No, thank you!
Worse, he was a former Prep Boy. Private school born and bred, mingling with the rich elites of east coast Sydney. You would think someone with those means would have taken more care of his appearance. Or, at the very least, his dental health.
Maybe I was too quick to judge. But my overall experience conversing with Prep Boy was unfavourable at best. It was the first time after downloading Hinge that I knew in my bones that this person was not for me. There would be no humouring them with a second date.
Almost immediately after we had left the small cafe, as he was catching up with his family afterwards at 12 in Burwood, I hid our chat and there’s been no contact since!
Certainly, our text exchanges hadn’t been the most scintillating of conversations.
So, progress? Or have I gone two steps back?
I don’t know. Relationships are hard! And yes, I know it’s my fault for not trying to seek a partner in my younger years but I wasn’t interested.
Heck, even now, I don’t know how interested I am in finding a life companion beyond a body pillow.
But at least I’m trying?
For years, I’ve lived inured in my own fantasy worlds, never much venturing past my front door because I saw little need to. However, I’m learning, as I did back in 2016, that putting oneself out of one’s comfort zone can be truly eye-opening in learning who I am and what I want from life.
It’s easy to live a life without change but you don’t grow from those experiences. And perhaps, after spending a year somewhat working on myself, I can spread my wings and reveal to the world the swan that I actually am.
Still, is it weird that during this trek out to the city, I was more excited about learning that Fortress was coming to Sydney rather than the meet-up itself?
Anyways, Happy New Year! Let’s hope 2023 will be as interesting as year as 2022 - at least on a personal scale. I don’t think I like all the shit that’s been happening around the world and I honestly fear where it might be heading to next.
And yet, despite all the misery and the bleakness of an unknown future, here I am just trying to find some love.
