Discover Top Posts Tagged with #the decayerrr

Having insys partners is great but also when you're cofronting, being physically affectionate can just look like this.

I'm holding your hand but it's also my hand and yeah that's poetic but it's so fucking funny.

Been seeing a lot of "endos DNI, also mixed origin systems and endo supporters included in the DNI too" lately, much more than usual. Which is absolutely ridiculous coming from the people claiming to protect "real DID/OSDD" systems, considering as long as you support endogenics you're added into the DNIs and grouped in as a "fake". Looks like they have their priorities straight! Definitely looks like it's about protecting disordered systems and not about simple exclusionism to me!

SO. On that sarcastic note.

Mixed origin systems, you deserve supportive spaces. You should be able to access both traumagenic and endogenic spaces if both apply to you. You don't deserve to be cast aside like that. If you have traumagenic aspects to your system, you belong in traumagenic spaces. If you have endogenic aspects to your system, you belong in endogenic spaces. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

Disordered endogenic systems, you should have access to spaces for people with your disorder and I hope you're able to find the support you need. I hope you're able to avoid the discourse and find a community you can feel safe in. You're not less disordered because you're endogenic.

Systems of any origin with CDDs such as DID or OSDD who support endogenics, you shouldn't be barred from your own spaces because you support other groups. You deserve kindness, support, and community, just as anyone else does. Your support of endogenics does not and will never mean you should be removed from CDD spaces and it certainly doesn't mean you're unsafe for those with CDDs to be around.

Endogenic supporters of any kind, your support is immensely appreciated. You also don't deserve to be picked apart and cast out simply based on your support of a group of people. Genuinely thank you for supporting endogenics regardless.

Insect alterhumans I am putting a nice little beverage/snack of your choice in your hand. And your other hand. And your other hand. And your other hand. And your

#therian #alterhuman #insect therian #bug therian #therianthropy #otherkin #otherkinity #terrorpunk #extranthrope #plural #nonhuman headmate #op #the decayerrr

Being median is funny. I'm not a singlet and not multiple, but a secret third thing. Who am I? Depends on the day but when it comes down to it, I'm me. Who's that? Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy. I'm people soup. A coin with two sides, but still a coin.

Every time we see hate toward some sort of identity we have (be it disabled, psychotic, alterhuman, plural, etc) we want to get louder about it out of spite. Our bag we carry everywhere is covered in pins and symbols, we wear the theta delta and/or the otherkin star as a necklace most days, we decorate our cane with stickers, something we own always has a trans flag or something similar. It's great! Take pride in your identity, even if others fear it. That's a them problem.

#terrorpunk #alterhuman #otherkin #nonhuman #psychotic #disabled #plural #pluralgang #pluralpunk #madpunk #syspunk #mad pride #op #the decayerrr

The Problems With Decay.

Sometimes, shit from fictionbased identities (or other alterhuman identities involving memories/noemata!) sticks. Memories, noemata, trauma responses, other things ingrained into your being--it's hard to break old habits. Especially if they're rooted in avoiding disastrous outcomes. It might be easier for some to move on, harder for others. There's plenty of people who aren't affected much by things that happened in their memories--other times it really sticks hard, and finding ways to navigate those things can be tricky. Sometimes, because of that, in your current body/brain/life or whatever framework you use, you have to find ways to make accomodations for yourself.

I'm a fableing (a sort of grey-area between fictive and fictionkin in a median system) of Tomura Shigaraki, from My Hero Academia. For people who don't know, in source, Shigaraki has a power that enables him to basically turn anything he touches with all 5 fingers of his hands to dust. Which, yeah, great for getting rid of problems (and people)! Not too great when it's not a thing you can simply turn off. Any thing I would touch, at all, would dissolve out of my control. If I touched it--even accidentally--with all 5 fingers of one hand? Gone. Can't do shit about that once it happens, there's no way to stop it. Many an accident happened.

Ignoring any specific events that happened in source canon... Even back then, there were absolutely things I didn't want to destroy. I had to be careful how I held things, careful how I interacted with people (if I didn't intend to kill them), careful of every movement I made. Hold a burger wrong? Well, lunch is gone now. Accidentally stumble a little and my hand reflexively touches someone to steady myself? They're gone too.

Now that I'm here in this body, I obviously don't need to worry about destroying things accidentally. I don't have my power in the front, my hands are completely safe to touch no matter how you do it. I can't decay things anymore. But that hasn't stopped me from acting like I still have it, and behaving accordingly regardless of that my hands can actually do now.

I'll hold my phone with a finger carefully lifted off the back of it. I'll pet our cat usually with only two or so fingers to be safe. I get worried about letting our birds onto my hands--what if they're perched just right that their feathers touch my other fingers? I'll hold food and drinks with a finger lifted off of them (which kind of looks ridiculous with holding cups because it's so obvious to other people). I'm still so meticulously careful about how I touch things, and yeah, I get really fucking anxious about it when I'm handling things I care a lot for. I know I can grab a glass without it fading away, I know I can pick up our cat without worrying that I'll end him, I know I can hold our birds, I know I can hold someone elses hand. It's something I logically know isn't an issue, it's not how it was in my memories, but living that life left a mark on my brain and it's hard to shake.

But, kind of recently, I learned something. Digital artist gloves. We've wanted some for a while, to make it easier to draw. We'd originally planned to wear them pretty often if we did get them, because we need to wear gloves a lot of the time anyway due to having circulation issues that lend our hands to getting real cold real easy. We normally wear fingerless gloves, as we need our fingertips to use our phone and type. But we thought more on it, and were thinking about how maybe artist gloves wouldn't be enough to keep our hands warm--typically they only cover two fingers, and are joined by a thin strap, overall covering less skin than regular fingerless gloves. But from that line of thinking I realised, they completely cover two fingers, and don't really touch any of the others.

Operating off of the logic my decay used, the gloves wouldn't be turned to dust because they don't cover my whole hand, and neither would anything I touch, because two fingers have a barrier over them, effectively disabling my quirk for as long as I wear them. It was the sort of middleground compromise I needed, between ignoring my anxiety and playing too hard into it by being terrified to touch things. Even if theoretically I could accidentally touch the glove with my whole hand and make it go away, in this body I can't do that, and unless I remove it, I will just keep being able to feel the glove on my hand as reassurance. A safeguard--not from anything literal anymore, but something to give me peace of mind.

I wear them all the time now, both in-system and in the front. They're just a permanent part of my outfit at this point (as you can see below in the art we made of myself), and they've helped me stop thinking about it so constantly. I don't need to worry about decaying things around me because I have protection measures against that.

While me wearing them was spawned out of exotrauma-induced anxiety, they're also really identity affirming the more I think about it. Yes, I'd like to not have to worry about decaying everything I touch--but that's just a trait of me. That's as much of a part of me as my other memories or my other experiences. They make me feel more like source-me, because I know if I thought about this solution before as an easier way to eat, drink and sleep? I absolutely would've done it. I don't see it just as wearing the gloves because I'm anxious or traumatised. I'm taking a positive out of it--I'm wearing them because I'm Tomura Shigaraki. Of course I'd need to have something like that.

So, I guess, the point--aside from me simply just sharing this--is that sometimes, you need to figure out some sort of compromise for yourself. Some way to navigate your own noemata, exomemories or exotrauma that you might have to get a little bit creative for. Is it always going to be foolproof? No. It is maybe a bit silly sometimes? Possibly! But this is something that both saves a lot of anxiety for me, and is in a roundabout sort of way, identity affirming at the same time. You can find positives in the weirdest things.

Bug hating and violence toward bugs being the Normal Reaction sucks so much, but it also hits different on an alterhuman level. We picked up a millipede from our bathroom (silly guy somehow got in there)--and me being very closely related in an alterhuman way to these guys, I accidentally slipped into front. So I go "damn ok I'm me now" and start carrying it outside to put it in the garden.

Buuut. One of our siblings just comes up to us, sees the millipede, and starts freaking out and telling us to kill it. Like that's... I dunno! You can clearly see I'm removing it from the house, it's just an animal, fear is one thing and I understand fear! You can stay away from it if you want. But you're screaming at me to kill this random animal? And unfortunately, that caused other people in the house to also come gawk and call me a freak too.

And I'm just so tired. Can't be a centipede therian without people going "eww" and can't carry a pretty similar little guy outside to a nice spot in the garden without people wanting me to get violent. Like.. I see myself in this little thing and even if I didn't I wouldn't understand why "kill it" is the okay reaction to have. I'm arthropodhearted in general and it's so upsetting that we're expected to be okay with just killing random animals because people find them scary or gross.

I guess there's some solidarity about it between me as a therian and the concept of bugs being almost universally hated... but I honestly think people should just not start telling people to kill things they're holding, just a thought! That shouldn't need to be something to even be a concept.

Anyway I put the guy in our garden, there's plenty of nice places for it to hide out there and it won't be disturbed again.