Some "fun" family session highlights below the cut:
My dad looped back to ask how they were supposed to know about the onset of my eating disorder (16 years ago) when I "fooled trained professionals" into thinking I was fine, that none of my doctors flagged anything. I said that hurt to hear, because it shifted the blame to me, rather than reframing it as "it's sad professionals let me down when it could have been different" (my dad understood elements of that in relation to my earlier cancer treatment, knowing that those doctors were trained in pediatric oncology and were still missing the very real emotional impact cancer treatment had on me//others. My dad DIDN'T seem to connect the dots that general clinicians are deeply misinformed about eds, and that it hurts that the adults in my life weren't stepping in and asking questions//showing support when I really needed help).
My parents were together as they Zoomed in tonight (vs my dad Zooming in separately from work). My dad is home preparing for a colonoscopy tomorrow. My mom gestured a bunch while our therapist, Ty addressed my dad, specifically calling my mom out to say, "I can see you want to chime in, though---" (as Ty was very very likely going to ask my dad to speak for himself), my mom interrupted and said she wanted to speak on behalf of my dad. She and said, to prepare for his colonoscopy, my dad basically "hasn't eaten for two days" and that he's "hangry" and asked us if we knew what hangry meant. I semi dissociated, but I'm 98% sure that as Tyresponded I laughed and said, "Join the fucking club." No one commented directly on that. I don't feel proud of it. I do feel more angry than expected --- to have my mom speak on behalf of my dad, and to look at his reticence as specifically related to hunger//medical restriction, and explain the concept to hangry in a setting where my [theoretical] literal actual eating disorder is being dismissed as impacting anyone (including myself) at all
