#this is rambling

[wullu]

You know, one of the things I really love about Gu Cheon as a character is how he has the potential to be so absolutely and pathetically in love with Saeng Gang.

Of course, we don't get to see the full scope of it in the drama, but the signs all point to him being the clingiest, most devoted person.

He latches on to Saeng Gang pretty fast because she is the only person showing him any amount of concern -- and despite his attempts to derail her, she keeps coming back, which must seem even more intoxicating to Gu Cheon.

Like, he doesn't have to do the things he does. But Saeng Gang is the deciding factor -- rather her consideration for him makes him want to do even more. The moment he starts connecting with her, he's irreverent as always but also looking to appease her. At first, it is all, I want to protect my life. But once the connection has been made, the man develops the survival instinct of a lemming. He constantly wants to toss himself off a cliff.

No eyes? Saeng Gang is in danger, let's jump into spirit world and make all sorts of deals.

Like the time he's been stabbed by the King's soldiers, and the man is legitimately bleeding out, but he's so pleased by the fact that Saeng Gang came hurrying to see him. At that point, Saeng Gang is also all in, so it's not like its a scrap of affection, but when you have been starved for so long, even a scrap is a full meal. It just so happens that Saeng Gang has endured her own kind of emotional starvation, which enables her also to return his consideration with equal ardor.

Even the fatalistic way he slits his throat, its like his sense of self is so warped, that the only use he sees in himself is ability to barter himself for her. He doesn't see any future, but he can only see a present where he saves Saeng Gang.

All this to say, this kind of characterization in a drama feeds me SO well.

If a man isn't hanging onto every scrap of attention, every tiny little detail, or doesn't see a point in existing if his person of choice is not there, then I simply do not want it!

[l3viat8an]

Omg so imagine you are sitting on the couch with the bros and all of the sudden you feel it. That clot means it's shark week for you. Panicking you sit up can check your spot, yep it's blood.

Lucifer sees first and is immediately in protect mode. The human is bleeding! Why? Are they hurt? Is this an attack? What's going on?

Beel smells the air and connects what he's seeing with the blood on the couch, now he thinks you're dying and he starts to yell in panic

Now everybody is on your ass, asking questions about what's wrong. You try to walk off but Satan is determined to know what getting on with you as well as all the brothers.

So now you're here Asmo and Mammon crying that you're gonna die. Satan is trying to put his human anatomy books to good use. Lucifer has Solomon on the phone. Belphine is actually awake and Beel and Levi are having an anxiety attack.

Finally being able to escape walk out of the conversation you change and pop in or put on a tampon/pad. As you walk back down there are even more people, now you have to explain the concept of a period to not just seven demons but, nine demons and four angels

Great 🫠

Ooooh so we’re going the full dramatic route!!!- I mean crying and panic attacks over a lil blood??? c’mon now boys sjksjs

Although humans are far weaker then demons- if you got a paper cut in front of them they’d probably act like you’re dying too lolol

I’d like to think Solomon just laughs and hangs up on Lucifer, simple as that. Solomon knows you’re not dying and this is something you’d be better at explaining anyway.

Actually getting the demons and angels to relax long enough for you to explain that it’s perfectly normal and not a big deal is another matter all together-

You’ll have to hope Satan’s anatomy book is actually up to date and show them all on paper how it’s perfectly normal. Most guys are visual learners- so thank goodness for Satan’s book!!!- jsksjksha

Belphie’s the first one to actually listen and fully understand you’re not dying. (and you’ll have to keep reassuring the others you’re not dying the whole time you explain.) over the dramatics, crying ‘n the endless question it’s going to take awhile-

But when they do calm down they’ll all start worrying about how you feel and asking if they can at least get you something so you’ll be more comfortable!! Beel’s vv worried about the cravings for chocolate you mentioned- jkjk (Now that they know you’re not gonna die it’s time for them to fuss over you the right way )

Extra/side note; I honestly don’t think Asmo would be freaking out. As the avatar of lust it’s kinda part of his job to know about stuff like that. So he could potentially help you explain or he’ll stand there laughing his ass off because everybody else is so worked up over something that’s completely natural for some humans. jsksjskjs

[yuudamari]

i feel like since i read orv the first time, ive had a pretty clear idea of how demon king looks like to me but before the webtoon i only had time to draw the huge wings properly (which im glad people agreed with me.)

then the webtoon came out and it looked sort of similar to what i had pictured but n the ugly webtoon style and i got mad bc it looks good in my head but now i feel like it doesnt.

[asriteko]

i don't stop drawing demon slayer characters btw

[notitlesapply]

A few weeks before Christmas, my spouse and I got wonderful news. A second baby was coming! The excitement was so so high. We had to tell everyone right away. Friends, Family. Work needed to know of course so we could prepare for leave and accommodations. My coworkers were excited for me. Our family and friends were of course excited. My mom was fretting over my health. We checked with our best friends if they'd like to be godparents again (they said yes and laughed that they had already guessed what our good news was.)

I started nesting like crazy lol. My spouse joked that I was making my Fortress of Pillow-tude. Our eldest started copying me. The little guy liked being buried in pillows. He pretended to be a turtle or living in a cave or a nest. It was cute. He made little nests in his room and our room. He got a bit clingy, wanting to snuggle with me and the baby in my tummy.

Fast forward to yesterday. I had been getting some pain the night before. It felt kinda like an ovarian cyst (I'm prone to those). I wasn't too worried. The on call nurse didn't sound too worried either, tho they suggested I go to the ER to check it out since it could be a cyst or it could be my appendix. You know, just in case.

I wish it had been just a cyst.

You don't really understand the horror of a miscarriage until you're living through it. Especially the miscarriage of a child you wanted. It's the worst kind of body horror. Your child is inside of you. Dying. There's a corpse inside of me right now. My baby is dying. I can't wrap my head around it. My baby is alive. My baby is dead. My baby was never born. I'm bleeding out. It's not my blood. It is. It's my child. It's my baby. My baby is bleeding out. My baby is dying.

Where is my baby? Where where where? They're dead. They were never alive. They were alive. I loved them. I felt them. I wanted them.

My baby is a corpse in my belly. They're coming out. Slowly. It can take a few days or weeks. It's an unholy horror of a birth. Just blood and pain and no baby.

No baby.

Apparently your body can take months to recover. Your mental state can take longer. I'm trying to be careful. I'm going to make therapy appointments. I know I did nothing wrong. It wasn't anybody's fault, especially mine. Knowing that doesn't make it hurt any less.

I'm crying. I wish I cried more. Both me and the spouse alternated between ugly crying and numbness. Shock. This can't be happening. The baby was fine. We were still picking out names. We were planning for a baby.

I understand that there is a difference between a child dying and a child never being born. Logically. But...my baby. My baby is dying. My baby is already dead. My baby is in this weird liminal state of being dead and never being alive and currently still living inside of me attached to my living organs as my body tries futilely to make my child grow.

There's only a little blood now. I've been told it will get worse.

We were so indecisive about baby names. We kept going back and forth. The spouse joked we wouldn't settle on a name until the baby was closer to coming out.

They were right. We figured out a name after we got the bad news. Eden. Our little Eden.

Our baby is tiny. Less than a centimeter. Just a little dot on the screen. My spouse called them a little rice grain. So so small. They won't get any bigger. I thought they looked like a seed. A little seed that would never grow. There is no garden.

I never knew grief like this. I wish it was a giant well that would just swallow me up and let me drown, but it's not like that. Not really. It's numbness and pain and if I think too hard I feel like I crack open and everything spills out like an infected wound but other times I'm just there. Numb.

I don't want this to happen. My baby is supposed to grow. I'm supposed to get round and bloated and grumble to my spouse that I want my tummy rubbed. My baby is still in there. Right now. I can feel their weight still.

I'm bleeding out.

[timaeusresponds]

Something something dirks fracturing identity from a life where he has had nothing but time to preform endless introspection but no resources or examples to follow in the process so it became a deconstruction of the self so he could better feel control over a situation he has never been in control of (his life) (his destiny) (his survival) (his existence in an apocalyptic hellscape as part of a predetermined fate he must fulfill)

With nothing to control except himself he has no choice but to try and become the most efficient, trying to force himself to be the honed blade protagonist that was prepared from birth for his purpose by curating himself blah blah. Cut off pieces of the self to carve down to the version of you made to survive. The pieces are alive now.

[quantumseeker]

The sun is setting where I am in Minnesota, and as the first day of 5786 I ends I find myself reflecting on what changes I want to make in the new year. It feels daunting and almost unattainable when I look at my list but I failed to take into consideration what I’m writing; “Never feeling anxiety again”, “being fully independent and not having to rely on anyone.”

I feel I need to do something big to make G-d proud, something that seems impossible and impressive. But that is not what G-d wants nor is it what is taught by Judaism. Judaism teaches that even your smallest actions make change, it doesn’t matter the size but the intent. It is all about choice. I chose to be Jewish, nobody is forcing me to do this. I choose to look out for others, to take time to learn, to surround myself with others who care. That is what matters.

I am sure I am not the only one alone in this feeling which is the only reason I’m writing this. Your goal don’t need to be massive, life altering changes, they just need to be done out of good and they need to be because you chose to do it. There is no one answer to your personal growth.