Jul 19, 2020
Tony: i had to learn how to shave from watching “Home Alone”
tim: makes sense its like “die hard” for kids
source: Brooklyn nine nine
seen from Poland
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Arab Emirates
seen from Japan
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from Taiwan
seen from Russia
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from Ireland
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
Tony: i had to learn how to shave from watching “Home Alone”
tim: makes sense its like “die hard” for kids
source: Brooklyn nine nine
At My 100th Job Interview 'cause I probably failed the others
Interviewer: Ok, seems great. Just one more question.
Me: Come on, I can take it.
Interviewer: What do you do in your free time?
Me: *tries to find ways to curl hair without curling iron* *questions sexuality* *listens to questionable music*
Me: *sweats nervously*
Me: I listen to quiet music and meditate
Azaiza: Hailie?
Hailie: Whaaat?
Azaiza: Where’s my tack?
Hailie: I, uh, put it away.
Azaiza: Where?!
Hailie: Why do you need to know?!
Azaiza: I NEED IT!
Hailie: Uh-uh! Don’t you think about running off to ride the god damn horses! We’ve been planning this dinner for TWO MONTHS.
Azaiza: THE PUBLIC IS IN DANGER!
Hailie: MY EVENING’S IN DANGER!
Azaiza: YOU TELL ME WHERE MY TACK IS WOMAN. WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE GREATER GOOD!
Hailie: “Greater good”?! I. AM. YOUR. BEST. FRIEND. I’m the greatest “GOOD” you are EVER gonna get!
Gabriel: Oh? You’re approaching me?
Hailie: I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer.