Jul 19, 2020
Tony: i had to learn how to shave from watching “Home Alone”
tim: makes sense its like “die hard” for kids
source: Brooklyn nine nine
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Tony: i had to learn how to shave from watching “Home Alone”
tim: makes sense its like “die hard” for kids
source: Brooklyn nine nine
At My 100th Job Interview 'cause I probably failed the others
Interviewer: Ok, seems great. Just one more question.
Me: Come on, I can take it.
Interviewer: What do you do in your free time?
Me: *tries to find ways to curl hair without curling iron* *questions sexuality* *listens to questionable music*
Me: *sweats nervously*
Me: I listen to quiet music and meditate
Azaiza: Hailie?
Hailie: Whaaat?
Azaiza: Where’s my tack?
Hailie: I, uh, put it away.
Azaiza: Where?!
Hailie: Why do you need to know?!
Azaiza: I NEED IT!
Hailie: Uh-uh! Don’t you think about running off to ride the god damn horses! We’ve been planning this dinner for TWO MONTHS.
Azaiza: THE PUBLIC IS IN DANGER!
Hailie: MY EVENING’S IN DANGER!
Azaiza: YOU TELL ME WHERE MY TACK IS WOMAN. WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE GREATER GOOD!
Hailie: “Greater good”?! I. AM. YOUR. BEST. FRIEND. I’m the greatest “GOOD” you are EVER gonna get!
Gabriel: Oh? You’re approaching me?
Hailie: I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer.