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the parallels between picnic dude being the dad who stepped up for a parent who loved their accidental kid the moment they saw him and buck meeting chris seasons ago and immediately loving him and stepping up to be the partner eddie needed in raising him. we're eating so well tonight
Ideally, Buck and Eddie never called each other work husbands. Maybe Chimney did once, as a joke, but neither of them ever crossed that line. Eddie has no problem calling Hen his work wife, though, because it doesn't feel like anything more. And Buck has no idea why he's seething over it, because it doesn't matter that Eddie only ever called him his partner. Buck loved being partners with Eddie. He didn't need to be his husband, work or otherwise. But they both still dance around it, never using the term, not even referring to each other as a work ex-husband.
And so the first time they use the word husband for each other, it's romantic. No work qualifier involved.
This is Eddie's season for real. So far we have: accepting religion but not embracing it or rejoining it, grief, his disinterest in dating, the mental chastity belt, and now PTSD from service - like just add a dad plot in and we're bringing in every storyline he's ever had. There's movement here.
recently @heyyoubuckaroo and I rewatched Holy Mother of God together, and it convinced me that there's no way Chimney would let Buck live with them for the months between Eddie and Chris getting back and Buck finding his own place.
So, with renewed curiosity, I ask:
where did Buck live before moving into his current house?
fics were right: with Eddie & Chris
in another sublet/short-term rental
in his truck
in the firehouse
hobosexual with an entirely off-screen partner
with Madney, and Chimney just sucked it up
tims bald/see results
My take on both Buck and Eddie's plots were that they were trying to move on from Bobby by taking things from his life and emulating him but not understanding the deeper meaning behind why Bobby did those things. Buck baked because Bobby did, and they did it together, and in this episode he was obsessed with getting it right for the sake of getting it right. He was unable to see how Bobby's relationship with the kitchen was always more about the people he was cooking/baking for than the perfect recipe. It was how he showed love and care.
Buck behaving in anger and lashing out was very reminiscent of early seasons Bobby. But he took time to reflect, and his decision to go back and drop the charges was him understanding what was at the heart of Bobby's character all the way back to his little black book: Bobby was a true helper, and everything he did was in service of that, even if it wasn't consciously. We also see this same throughline in Harry's story right now, imo, so I don't think we're done exploring it. It was never about the exact recipe, or being just like Bobby, it was always about the people eating the food.
While Eddie, on the other hand, turned to the trappings of religion because his last real message from Bobby—aside from him always having a home with the 118, but I don't think Eddie is in the right place for that message to resonate in a new way yet—was the prayer book. Bobby told Buck to take care of everyone because they need him, and Buck's been doing that in a surface level way. But Eddie didn't get to say goodbye and hear what Bobby would want him to know most like Buck did. Following that prayer book to mass was just another surface level way to connect with one of Bobby's interests rather than a meaningful understanding of why religion was such a comfort to Bobby. And Abuela explained that to Eddie, told him it's about the love and community, and I do think that got through to him. And so at the end, Eddie made the choice to honor Abuela in a way she would see meaning in, which he hasn't consciously been able to do for Bobby yet because he hasn't figured out what Bobby would see meaning in. However, I think Eddie has been honoring Bobby by rejoining the team, stepping into a new role as paramedic, and letting himself be open and vulnerable to new experiences rather than letting the loss freeze him in amber. But he can't see that for what it is yet.
I also think it's very possible that Eddie's story about loving people while you have them will tie back to the advice he gave Chimney seasons ago about how tomorrow isn't promised to anyone. And Eddie needs to let himself reach for his joy (and love Buck). But we'll see if it comes back into play whenever they next pick up the storyline.
Once they get over the elation of Hen being home, I wonder how Hen and Karen are going to handle their emotions about the whole ordeal. Because Hen took Karen's greatest dream and twisted it into a nightmare. Karen will look up at the stars, and see the vastness that nearly took her wife from her. And how can she tell Hen that she still loves it, that she would still love it even if Hen had died up there?
And Hen is living with a constant reminder of space. When Karen comes home and talks about work, will she always think about how she could've—and by all rights should've—died up there? Will her mind drift as Karen tells her about the new breakthrough they're working towards, losing herself once again in that empty void that tried its level best to keep her—not that it was personal, and Hen knows that, because nothing out there cared about her. But still, it's hard not to remember the darkness, and the cold, and the surety that she would be the second member of the 118 to never make it home this year. And every day when she asks her wife about her day at work, Hen is back there again, forever stuck, unable to get distance from it, to move on, even with her feet safely back on solid ground.
Does Karen still wish she had been the one to go, even if she surely would have died? Does a part of her still yearn to experience it for herself?
tbh, I think that Bobby telling Buck that everyone is going to need him is going to live in Buck's head unexamined for years, and play a role in how he handles most of his major relationships going forward. Bobby's advice to him about stepping into Abby's problems and his opinions on Buck devaluing women by viewing them sexually have stuck with Buck for years, even if he isn't consciously aware of how much Bobby's opinion is still influencing him. Buck puts more weight on Bobby's advice than what anyone else in his life says. Having some of Bobby's last words be a request for Buck to look out for others is already fucking him up, and Buck can absolutely find a way to do more damage to himself by taking it as gospel and at face value. Buck is going to hurt himself trying to live up to the man he thinks Bobby wanted him to be.
people i'd like to know better
tagged by @damnit-buck <3
last song: Will Anybody Ever Love Me? by Sufjan Stevens
fave color: purple. but also I can fuck with a nice green, especially in the sunshine
currently watching: 911. Deeply boring/busy rn so that's about it aside from my """weird""" youtube videos like it isn't fascinating to watch someone make a worm costume
currently reading: just finished spoiled milk by avery curran and haven't picked up a new one yet. also still the tenant of wildfell hall by anne bronte with my friend :) necrobane by daniel m ford on audio.
current obsessions: the evergreen ones: buddie, socks, long walks with my dog. but right now I'm really interested in plots and how books/longer stories come together, so I have been absolutely dissecting everything I read and trying to see what makes it tick.
currently working on: I have a million and one projects going at any given time, so if there's something you're like "...weren't you writing x?" the answer is yes. probably still am thinking about it at least once a week. it'll get there. but the project of my heart rn is my body swap au, the shiny new thing is that @sintari and I challenged ourselves to write romcoms this summer, and I am still editing mind reading
last google search: thin slice judgements
current desktop photo: I haven't changed it since I got my laptop, so it's an old picture of my parents' dog
tagging some new mutuals but with zero pressure @ohhsodebonair @iwasraisedfromperdition @frightfullytreeish @buckbakes
