#top angst

[xkpopobsessedx]

Not Good Enough

- Gif credit goes to owner/creator 

- Angst 

---

The busy streets of Seoul buzzed around me, the sound of car horns and shop owners yelling at rowdy kids filled the air. Normally the walk to the YG building wouldn’t have me a nervous mess,  but recently Seunghyun and I came out as a couple after a year and half. Fans didn't respond well to it, or me, for that matter. The threats and nasty comments that swarmed my social media accounts were insane.

I pulled my hood closer to my face feeling stupid for forgetting my mask, the toe of my Nike shoe tapped the gum covered  pavement again as I waited for the signal to cross the road. The big white building so close, I could almost hear the rowdy bunch of boys who go by BigBang.

“ Thank god.” I sighed as the white walking figure appeared,I quickly got across the road picking up my pace, a little faster then a walk.  As I took another step I faltered a little, my shoulder slamming into another girl.

I snapped my head up a string of apologies falling from my lips, “  Are you okay?” I asked not noticing my hood falling off my head.

The girl nodded , “ I’m fine.”

I nodded walking away reaching to adjust my hood panic hitting me when I didn't feel it, goosebumps rasing on my skin when my name was shouted, footsteps getting closer and closer to me.

One of the girls caught up to me, a shove placed on my shoulders, “ No, please leave me alone !” I cried crashing down to the sidewalk, the rough pavement stinging my palms and knees. Feet and fists pounded my back and ribs.  “ Stupid bitch you don’t deserve Oppa!” I took a deep breath bringing my legs under me launching myself off the ground, my feet carrying me into a run.

I cringed as I ran,  my body on fire, “ Damn it all.” I groaned holding my torso.

One block, two blocks I hit the YG steps punched in the code and flew into the building, falling on to the lobby floor startling the guard on duty.

I fell onto my elbows crying, Seunghyun is going to be furious.

“ Y/N?”

I sat up slowly my eyes meet Jiyong’s,  “ What the hell happened to you?” He rushed over to helping me up, his eyes scanning my body. “ Let's take you to hyung.”

“ It was-.”

He held is hand up shaking his head, “ I can tell what happened.”

I whimpered as he wrapped his arm around me, “ He is gonna kill me for not having my mask.”

A quick trip down the hall and up an elevator that stopped in front of a room. Jiyong lead me into the room stopping me just on the other side of  the door way. Seunghyun picked his head up sitting there for a second the sniffle of my nose making him turn his computer chair around.

“ What the hell!”  He jumped out his chair landing on his knees in front of me, “ Jagiya.” His fingers ran over my scraped knees. “Where else?”

I held up my shaky hands showing him my palms, “ They were also punching and kicking me,”

“ How many of them were there?!” He yelled pointing at my body

“ Two.”

Seunghyun stood up pushing my hoodie and shirt up, displeasure painted his face. “ Let’s go report this and then we are go get those ribs looked at.”

I sobbed grabbing his arm, “ It’s all my fault, I forgot my mask this morning then I wasn’t watching where I was going and bumped into a couple girls causing my hood to fall. I just need to be more careful.”

He took a step back shaking his head, “ Do not say that again, ever.”  He stepped forward again pulling my body to his. “ Never again.”

[hollandershane]

harry not being slept on for once, god bless 🤧

[ohprettyweeper-moved]

Make It Better

Summary: Tyler loses control, so you and Josh do your best to help him.  Pairing: Tyler x Reader Word Count: 825 Warnings: Drinking, OOC behavior, implications of depression and anxiety, angst/flangst. Vomiting.  A/N: Prompt is bolded in the text. Sorry this is late in the day; I’m in the middle of prepping for finals next week, but still trying to keep up a fic a day! This isn’t really a request from @razor-tothe-rosary, but I had a list of prompts I couldn’t decide on, and she picked for me! 

Wanna request a fic?

It was after three in the morning when your phone vibrated on the nightstand. The sound of it woke you from your usual light sleep; with a groan, you reached to answer it. 

“Better have a good reason for calling, Josh Dun.”

A whoosh of air gave away the sigh on the other end, and Josh apologized for waking you up. “Hey. It’s Tyler again. Can we come there?”

You rubbed your eyes with your free hand, propping yourself up on your elbow. “Yeah. Yeah, of course. I’ll unlock the front door.”

“Thanks.”

You closed your eyes for just a second, holding on to the last bit of sleep before you switched on the lamp next to your bed. You found a hair tie and piled your hair back away from your face, not really caring how it looked. You were already in a tank and sweats, but you threw a hoodie on, just for good measure. 

Coffee was going, you had clean towels and a couple of warm washcloths in the bathroom, along with a glass of room temperature water. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the first time in the last few weeks that Josh had called in the wee hours and asked to bring Tyler to your place. He couldn’t very well take him home, anyway. 

“Why are you covered in neon body paint?” you asked, opening the front door so Josh could help Tyler inside the house. 

Josh shot you a look. “Best not ask.”

With a nod, you followed him into the bathroom where Tyler collapsed to his knees in front of the toilet. Josh ran a hand through his hair; you put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Go try to rest,” you encouraged. “I’ve got this.”

Josh didn’t argue. “You’ll wake me if you need anything?”

“Of course.” Before he was too far gone, you asked, “What brought it on tonight?”

“I don’t even know anymore, Y/N. He’s just … I don’t know.” 

You nodded. “Okay. Thanks.”

Josh made to leave, but turned again at the door, picking at a place where the wood had splintered on the doorframe. “You know, I know when he’s had enough. He always tells me he needs to see you. That he’s ready to come here. I think you’re a safe place for him.”

At the stool, Tyler began retching into the bowl. You put out of your mind what Josh had said for the time being, and laid one of the washcloths over the back of Tyler’s neck. When there was a pause, you made him drink some water. He sipped at the contents of the glass, then leaned back against the tub. 

“I’m sorry I keep doing this to you,” he said, his voice scratchy from the burn of the liquor coming back up on him. 

You took a seat against the wall, not far from him. “I don’t care that you’re doing it to me, Ty. But, I wish I knew why you’re doing this to yourself.”

His head leaned back against the ceramic ledge of the tub. “You ever felt like the world’s just going to swallow you up, Y/N/N? The world and the things it wants from you and the things you feel and the demons you can’t chase away. Felt like I needed to float away.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling,” you answered quietly, afraid that if you spoke any louder, the lump in your throat would turn to tears. “But you can’t float away from all of that in a sea of alcohol. You just … tell me what to do to make this better for you.”

Tyler’s head lifted from the edge of the tub, and his tired, bloodshot eyes looked at you. He stared at you for a moment, licked his lips, and set his elbows on his knees. 

“You do make this better for me.” He rubbed a hand over his face and reached for the glass of water, chugging it down. 

“Not so fast. You’ll make yourself sick again.”

Tyler shook his head. “No. I think I’m done being sick for tonight. I’m tired.”

“Okay,” you said, standing to dust off the seat of your pants. “C’mon. Bed.”

He took your hand, holding tight to it even after he was standing and steady. Though you had done it before, using the other washcloth to wipe his face down before letting him sleep seemed a much more intimate thing tonight. 

He kicked his shoes off, and you rid yourself of your hoodie. Tyler crawled under the covers, curled around a pillow, and reached out for you. You sat on the edge of the mattress, trying to decide how things had changed so quickly — and maybe they wouldn’t even be the same in the morning. 

Despite all of that, you scooted back on the mattress, molded yourself into the little spoon with Tyler’s arm draped comfortably over your hip, and fell into a comfortable, deep sleep. 

[turnedoutartsy]

who is up for some angst?

It doesn’t tie in with a lot of theories but whatever... LOVE to all of you playing lill detectives

[thepatricktreestump]

black & red

one : reader

// gender neutral reader and trigger warnings throughout //

Josh would never shut up about this kid. Every single day when he got on the phone with you, he would talk for hours and hours about this boy who played the ukulele and screamed dark lyrics and had strange tattoos and liked to cry a lot. Ever since high school, Josh and you had still remained friends. Through those four years, the two of you created the best friendship you could ever ask for, and although you had to leave to go to college, you had managed to keep your relationship with Josh alive. He called you almost every single day for hours on end, and you would both talk about your day, about the people you’ve met, the places you’ve seen, the things you had done. You weren’t all that special really. You found your passion for your career in high school, got fairly good enough grades to get a halfway scholarship to college a handful of states away, and ended up graduating with a degree and no place to get a job. Sure, it was nice to feel accomplished, but unable to apply yourself only made everything feel so useless. You had called plenty of companies and people and managers, but nobody seemed to want you. Without a paycheck, you were forced to take the long drive home back to Columbus, Ohio where your friend Josh had offered to let you stay with him until you could get back on your two feet.

Unlike you, Josh had managed to find his passion for his career, and be successful with it. In fact, he had even gone on tour with this band he got in, traveling state to state and playing drums alongside the boy he constantly talked about. Most people would think that you would get sick of hearing your best friend babble about their new best friend, but honestly, you were interested. You wanted to know everything about this ukulele boy, not only because Josh was so infatuated with him, but because you were too. Josh spoke about how this boy used to write songs in his basement when he was only a teen, how he had played basketball for years on end, how his older brother taught him how to rap and became his biggest inspiration, how he came from a dark and terrible past, how his eyes light up whenever he hears a Death Cab For Cutie song come on the alternative radio station. You were happy for Josh, that he was able to find a friend that meant so much to him, to be able to be living his dream, to be so successful in so little time. You were driving back to your hometown, just a couple hours away, talking to the phone with Josh when the subject came up.

“So, you’re finally going to meet Tyler,” you could practically hear Josh beaming on the other side of the phone. That’s the name of the ukulele boy. Tyler. His name had been ingrained in your head from the moment Josh had first mentioned him. “I’ve told him so much about you. Like all the crazy pranks we pulled off in high school or that time we ditched school or when-”

“When we went through the Taco Bell drive thru with the motorcycle we stole from my dad,” you finished, laughing a bit. “Yeah. I remember that.”

“Anyways, you’re going to love him,” Josh sighed. “Geez, I can’t believe I haven’t seen you in over five years. That’s wild.”

“College is rough,” you simply responded. “But I missed you too.”

“Did you finally listen to that video I sent you? Of our show last week?” he wondered eagerly.

“Yup, that was amazing,” you grinned. “I really liked that song.”

“It’s a new one,” he explained. “Tyler wrote it with the mind set of playing it in a huge crowd you know, with everyone singing along. He can’t wait until the day when that happens.”

“I’m sure it will happen,” you reassured. “With the way you guys are cranking out content left and right.”

“Anyways, it will probably be late when you get here,” Josh reminded. “Just knock on the door as much as you need to until I get up in case I fall asleep.”

“Will do, knucklehead,” you rolled your eyes.

“Alright,” he smiled.

On the entire ride home he kept talking to you, and when you reached his apartment, he captured you in a huge hug. “Oh my god!” your face hurt so much from smiling. “It feels like forever!”

“Gosh I missed you,” he sighed, hugging you even tighter.

“How have you been?” you inquired.

“Come on, we just talked like two minutes ago on the phone,” he laughed. “You know how I’m doing.”

“Alright then,” you sighed. “Then tell me something I don’t know.”

The two of you talked almost all night long. He had picked up Chipotle for the both of you and you listened to music and watched television shows, caught up on life. You actually ended up falling asleep on the sofa together, and that’s what led to the events the following morning. The events that little did you know, would change your life forever. Meeting Tyler. Because it was that next morning when everything began. The day when you met the boy who you would want to spend your entire life with. The day when you would meet the guy who would bring you the best joy you’ve ever known in your entire life. The day when you would meet the person who you would sleep next to every single day for the rest of your life. But also, the day when you would unknowingly meet your worst nightmare.

[sugacoataed]

One Last Smile.

[swingsdown]

in preparation for tackling these angst fills, i’m replaying in my head the scene in ootp where sirius has just gone through the veil and harry screams himself into a grief-filled rage

[k-hiphopshit]

How Are You? (T.O.P x Reader)

P.S This eas requested from an anon. I hope you like it and it’s how you imagined it, it was really fun to write so show me some love. Enjoy!

———————————-

Seunghyun was a good man. He loved you and cared for you, you had those late night talks with deep meanings, you both had gone through some pretty dark times, you came out stronger and more mature. You looked very mature but you had a very funny and weird side that you showed from time to time, you were eachother’s alley, the power couple.

But it was getting harder. He had to constantly leave you, either travelling or doing band related stuff, he recently had a movie, he was on top of the world.The higher he got, the harder was for you to catch up to him, while you had to balance your work. Also being in the public eye was really taking a toll on you, the nasty comments, the articles, you started doubting the relationship. Was it really worth it? Yes you loved him but… is he the one?

You had enough. You had to go through so much but all you got was rushed dates and missed calls, why were you the only one fighting? Did he even care? Did he want to be with you? You told him you wanted to talk, he agreed and told you to pass by the studio. You prepared yourself and walked in the room, you were greeted by the other members with hugs and smiles. They left you alone after that and you took a seat at one of the chairs.

“Seunghyun, do you love me?”

“Of course”

He was genuine. He did love you, but was love enough? could that keep you together? You took a deep breat to continue

“Do you want us to break up?”

“Do you?”

He answered with a question. You didn’t know the answer to that, could you leave him? so many questions runned around your mind, it made you get a headache

“You are obviously doubting our relationship”

He said. You were suprised by how calm he looked? No sadness, no anger, nothing, it was like you meant nothing, that’s how you certainly felt.

“I don’t think I can do this Seunghyun”

“I understand”

You looked at him confused. You were ending the relationship, he was just sitting in his chair looking at you, he didn’t protest, he didn’t beg you to stay, he didn’t throw things. It made you mad

“If you want to leave us, then I won’t stop you, it’s your choice”

You nodded and got up, you didn’t know if you should hug him or kiss him. You decided to just walk out of the room, you opened the door but stopped, maybe if you turned you could see him cry or look sad. As you turned he just looked calm, like nothing has happened

“It was nice knowing you Seunghyun”

He watched you walk out of the room, as he controlled his emotions. His love walked away, he didn’t stop you, he wanted to but he didn’t want to force you, you were not happy with him. He got up and watched you walking out of the building and walking in your car, trying to protect yourself from the rain. He watched as the car dissapeared, and a pain in his chest appeared.

————

He should forget you, move on, but he couldn’t. It was raining again, like the day he met you, like the day you broke up. He remembered the old times, when you were both so in love and happy, it made his stomach turn, will this feeling go away? will this feeling pass? the bed felt big all of a sudden. He got up and runned a hand in his hair. He walked to the kitchen and got a glass of water, as he chucked it down he looked out of the window, days like this the memories became stronger. You loved the rain, you would cuddle him and look out the window, the only sound that would be heard was your breathing and the sound the drops made when they hit the glass. He walked over to his phone, dialing the number he knew by heart.

“Hello”

He heard your voice. He couldn’t speak, the words were stuck to his throat. He hanged up and threw it at the bed. 

———————-

He saw you again. You knocked on his door and you were holding a big box. His belongings that he had left at your house

“It’s been two months and I thought you were going to pick them up”

You explained. Avoiding eye contact, he went to the side and let you in

“It would be better if you just took them”

“Come on (y/n), walk in”

You slowly took a step in the familiar apartment. You were usually so happy to go in this house, but now you felt a lump in your throat.

“Put them at the table”

He said closing the door. He took in your features, you looked skinnier, your cheekbones were showing, the pants were loose on you. He didn’t know if this was on purpose or if the break up made that happen, he also didn’t know which one would make him happy, if you had moved on and took care of yourself? or that you were as sad as him?

“How are you?”

You said, rubbing the back of your neck. You looked around the house, nothing has changed, everything was like you left it.

“I’m fine, how about you? are you really fine?”

He really just wanted to ask if you were hurting just as much as him. You nodded, you were never good at lying

“You want a glass of water?”

“umm sure. It’s pretty hot today”

He walked to the kitchen, leaving you alone. You didn’t know if you should take a seat or go to the living room, so you just stood there and waited for him. He got back with a full glass of water

“Thank you”

You said and placed it in your mouth. He smiled, you still drank water the same weird way, some drops escaped from the side of your mouth, you still made some noises as your puffy lips had such a strong grip and then you released it. You wiped your mouth and gave the glass back. He took it but didn’t go to the kitchen, you just looked at eachother, it was like your eyes were doing the talking, you saw how much he was hurting, he could see that he was not taking care of himself, he looked tired.

“I shouldn’t have let you go, I should have treated you better”

He said out loud. You broke the eye contact and looked down, biting you lip to hide the pain you felt.

“We- we are both struggling”

You said. It was true, no one was fine, you bothed missed one another, it was like a part of you was missing

“If we are both in pain, then why aren’t we making this easier. Do you want that (y/n)?”

He basically asked you to get back together in his own way. You looked at him one more time, you let yourself free, letting your guard down. You nodded, you couldn’t speak, he reached for you, breaking you in his arms. You placed your head on his chest, you felt a smile reaching your lips. He kissed the top of your head

“I missed you”

“Why did you let me go?”

That question was the reason you cried every night, the reason that you lost apetite, the reason you stayed up all night. If he loved you then why would he let you go?

“When you love someone you let them go, you were not happy, love is all about making the other person happy, how could I keep you by my side if you weren’t?”

He explained on a hush tone. You looked up, he took your face in his hands

“I want you to be happy”

He said and kissed your lips. You missed his lips, he kissed you like you were about to break. As you broke the kiss you looked in his eyes

“I’m not happy without you”

“Good, cause I feel the same way”