Pairing: Tyler joseph x reader, Josh dun x reader
Warnings: Angst, fluff, heartbreak, language (i think..?) the usuals
Author’s note: This is probably the longest one shot I have ever written, but I hope you enjoy it!!
“We need to talk,” Tyler rubbed his temple as you walked into his basement. His ukulele laid on his couch so you were forced to stand and stare the tired boy. The bags under his eyes were even bigger than the last time you had seen him.
“Ty, bubs, what is wrong?”
“I can’t do this anymore.”
Your heart sunk to your stomach and you gnawed on your bottom lip until you tasted blood. “Do what?”
“This,” he spoke between gritted teeth. He pointed to you two and you knew exactly what he was talking about.
“I have been telling you for the past year that I don’t feel like being in a relationship right now, and all you seem to be doing is pushing it more and more.”
“I thought you loved me, Tyler.” Your vision became clouded with the tears that began to form. The room was spinning, and you wanted to sit down.
“This is why I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep on hurting you like this.”
“You’re not hurting me,” you tried to convince him but he just shook his head.
“Don’t lie to me, Y/N. I know that I’ve made you stay up and cry yourself to sleep. I know that I made you get rid of friendships because of how messed up my brain is.”
“Bubs, your brain is perfectly imperfect and you can’t hate yourself because of that.”
“You’re not listening to me, Y/N.”
“I’m trying too,” you whispered. You could feel a tear slither down your cheek but you didn’t want to wipe it away and make it more obvious how much he was hurting you.
“I’m not happy, and it’s not your fault, it’s my brain's fault,” he explained as he paced around the bottom of his basement. “Life is too short to be unhappy, and it is definitely too short to be making other people unhappy. It’s not fair to you.”
“Only I get to decide what is fair to me and what isn’t, Tyler. You are so much more than your mental health, and you need to realize that.”
“I don’t love you anymore,” he stated. His chocolate eyes burned into yours and you took a step back processing what Tyler had just said.
“This is more than just your mental health isn’t it,” you whimpered.
“The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but I can’t keep on lying to you. You deserve the world and you deserve happiness.”
“You were my happiness, you were my everything.” You didn’t even try to stop the tears, and you watched as they fell down onto your shoes. “My forever promise.”
“Sometimes promises get broken. I need to focus on myself, and my job.”
You wiped your nose and looked up at Tyler. You looked for a hint of regret but his face showed that he meant everything he had said. “Okay.” You started to turn around and walk up to his basement stairs before you felt an arm on your shoulder.
“Maybe we can try again when I figure myself out.”
“Screw off,” you shrugged his hand away and stormed upstairs. You grabbed your car keys and slammed the front door. You didn’t really know where to go because you had moved in with Tyler about eight months ago, but the last thing you wanted was to be on the same premise as him.
You pulled out your phone after you got settled into your car, and you dialed Josh’s number. You waited patiently until he finally answered the call.
“Hey Josh, could I come over?”
“Uh, sure. What’s going on?”
“I’d rather explain in person.”
“Okay, see you soon.” and the call ended with a click. You took a deep breath and tried to recollect your thoughts before starting to drive to Josh’s house which was only about a twenty-minute drive.
The moment you turned on your car the song Tear in my Heart started to play and you were crying once again. You remembered when Tyler wrote you that song, and you remembered how secretive he was. You also vividly remember the first time he showed you the song. It was on your fifth anniversary of him asking you to be his girlfriend, and he blindfolded you and took you to a small stage in Ohio. When you took off the blindfold you were welcomed with Tyler alone on a stage singing you this song acoustically.
You tried to blink your tears away to make your driving easier, but you couldn’t stop thinking about every good memory you had with Tyler. You remember the whole Europe trip you went on with him for his Blurryface tour, and you remember him kissing you under the tower. You thought about how he promised to love you forever and always, and how he promised to always take care of you, but just like he said, promises get broken.
You arrived at Josh’s house and you could hear the sound of Jim’s barking through his door. Josh already was standing at the entrance before you even had a chance to open your car door. You wiped your tears knowing that it wouldn’t do anything since your face was probably all red and blotchy.
“Y/N, what happened?” Josh asked as he guided you into his living room. You took a seat on his couch and petted Jim as he rested his head on your knee.
“He doesn’t love me anymore,” you whispered. The couch dipped as Josh sat next to you.
You nodded and you started to sob loudly, “He told me that he didn’t to be in a relationship anymore because of his mental health and because he didn’t want to hurt me anymore, but then he told me he doesn’t love me anymore.”
“Hey now, it’s going to be okay,” Josh rubbed your back as you tried to regain a rhythm of breathing.
“It might be okay soon, but right now I am not okay.”
“Just talk to me,” Josh whispered.
“I just don’t know what I did wrong. I know that he blames himself but I gave up so much for him so that he could be happy. I gave up friendships, and I gave up my job to go on tour with him. I never made him feel bad about his mental health.”
“You were so good to him and he knows that.”
“I guess I wasn’t good enough,” you whispered softly to yourself. Jim licked your hand and it made you crack the tiniest smile.
“At least Jim is good at making you smile that beautiful smile,” Josh laughed softly. You looked up at him and inspected his eyes. You both just stared into the eyes of each other.
“I should have realized that he didn’t love me anymore when he stopped kissing me good morning and goodnight, and when he would stop writing songs for me.”
“I wish he talked to me about it,” Josh mumbled and you just shrugged.
“The past six years of my life is just gone. I feel so broken, and I feel so empty. He has hurt me before, but nothing as bad as this.”
“You deserve to be happy, Y/N,” Josh said as he brushed a hair out of your face and to behind your ear.
“That’s what he told me too.”
“But I mean it, Y/N. Tyler might be my best friend, but I would never lie to you as he did.”
“He lied to me because he didn’t want to hurt me,” you argued. Josh was talking about the time when you found deleted messages from a girl on Tyler’s phone and he had lied to you about who they were, but it turned out that it was just a friend from high school and he lied because he didn’t want to hurt you.
“He lied and deleted them because he knew it was going to hurt you, and he did it anyway.”
“Have I feel blinded by love this entire relationship?”
“I don’t know, Y/N. You’ve put up with a lot, and maybe you guys aren’t just meant to be together like that.”
“It hurts so bad, Josh. I feel like I will never be good enough for anything. I tried so hard to make him happy.”
“And that was the issue. You were so focused on making him that happy that you were giving up your own happiness. I know it hurts but maybe this is better for both of your guy's mental health,” Josh said. He studied your face, and you kept your eyes down and focused on Jim.
You wanted to be defensive and argue but you knew that Josh was right. “I don’t know what to do now, or where to go. I moved to Ohio like a year ago but that year was spent in Europe. I don’t have family or friends here, and I don’t want to go back home. Not with him there. I don’t want to see him for a long time.”
“I’m not a friend? Hell, I consider you to be one of my best friends, Y/N.”
“You’re also Tyler’s best friend. I can’t just stay here.”
“Why not? You can take my bed, and I can sleep down here on the couch. I care about you too, Y/N. Like I said earlier, you deserve to be happy and I want to help you.”
“Thank you, Josh,” you whispered and you smiled back up at him. You pulled your phone out of your back pocket to check what time it was and your screen saver made your stomach twist. “I need a new screen saver, also how did it get to be midnight already?”
“I’m not sure, and here change the picture to a picture of Jim. He always seems to make you feel better,” Josh said as he pulled out his phone to airdrop you some photos of Jim he had. He sent about six, and they were all very cute and you decided on a picture of Jim wearing a birthday hat in front of a ‘pupcake’.
“I’m so tired,” you yawned and Josh nodded in agreement.
“You should get some sleep. You know where my bedroom is right? You can use one of my t-shirts if you want to sleep in, and I’ll stay down here and watch TV if you need anything.”
“Okay, thank you Josh.” You smiled at him before heading up the stairs and taking a right to his bedroom. It was very modern and there were two different electric drum kits in the corner. There was also a framed picture of you, Tyler and him standing on stage at the very last concert from the Blurry face tour.
You remembered that show vividly. It was a hometown show, and Tyler had brought you up on stage and played Can’t Help Falling In Love. You didn’t want to start crying again so you flipped the picture over.
You weren’t sure exactly which drawer Josh kept his t-shirts in but after looking through four different ones you finally found his stash. You decided on an oversized In-n-Out shirt that ended right before your knees. You stripped down so you were wearing just your underwear and the shirt. It felt like a dress and you giggled to yourself as you stared at yourself in Josh’s mirror.
You braided your hair so it was out of the way, and you washed your face in his bathroom. You were starting to feel better, but you definitely looked like you had been crying all night because your eyes were almost swollen shut and your cheeks were flushed.
You crawled into Josh’s bed which was surprisingly more uncomfortable than you were expecting. With all the money he had, you thought he would spend it on a supportive mattress. You tossed and turned until you finally found a comfortable spot, and you closed your eyes and counted until you drifted to sleep.
“Tyler!” you screamed as you sat up drenched in sweat. You looked around and it took you a couple of minutes to realize where you were. You rubbed your eyes as you tried to get the thought of the night terror you just had out of your brain. You hadn’t had a night terror for about four months now, and you were so used to Tyler holding you close and whispering to you how you were going to be okay but instead you were alone in an unfamiliar dark room and you couldn’t stop shaking.
The clock on the nightstand next to you read 2:34 am and you groaned. You didn’t want to go back to sleep, and you didn’t want to stay awake alone in the room. You decided that you were going to go down and see if Josh was awake because you needed someone to talk to to help ground yourself again.
You walked slowly down the stairs and you saw Josh sitting on his couch watching an episode of the X-Files with Jim laying on his lap. You didn’t want to scare him so you made sure to make your last footstep a little bit harder so he would turn around.
“Y/N, what are you doing awake? Are you okay?” His eyes looked you up and down, and he smiled softly at the t-shirt you were wearing.
“I had a night terror, and I can’t sleep,” you mumbled.
“Oh Y/N, I’m sorry.” Josh paused the TV and stood up. You walked over to him and wrapped your arm around his body. He was warm and smelled like Jim but you didn’t mind.
“I know this sounds so stupid but can you please sleep with me. I won’t be able to sleep if I’m alone.”
“Of course,” Josh whispered. He pulled away from you and placed a strand of hair behind your ear once again. “I like your shirt.”
You blushed, “It was the biggest one I could find.” You followed Josh up to his room and Jim pranced along behind you.
“Jim is going to be upset that you took my place,” Josh teased and you rolled your eyes as you slid under the covers. Josh walked into the bathroom and brushed his teeth.
“Sorry Jim,” you petted the golden retriever head as he whined.
“I don’t want to make this awkward but I can’t sleep in a shirt, so are you comfortable if I sleep in just basketball shorts?”
“Oh, um, yeah it’s fine.” Your heart started to race and you didn’t really know why. You turned over and faced the wall as you could feel Josh slide into the bed next to you. You tried to control your breathing and count again so you could fall asleep but the memories of the night terror kept on flashing in your head.
“Are you okay?” Josh asked. He must have heard your breathing get heavier.
“I can’t stop seeing the night terror,” you whispered. You felt an arm wrap around your waist and soon you felt Josh’s bare chest against your back.
“Is this okay?” he asked and you nodded. His arm was creating a sense of security and almost instantly oxytocin began to run through your veins making you calm down. You reached down and intertwined your hand with Josh’s and he held it tight.
“Thank you,” you whispered.
“Of course.” Josh’s breath was hot on your neck as he held you tight. You missed being held like this because it must have been months since the last time you fell asleep next to Tyler. He was always up late writing music, and he slept far away from you. The more you thought about it, the more you realized how much you and Tyler had grown apart the past year.
You eventually got uncomfortable from being stuck in the same position and you released Josh’s hand and flipped over so that you were facing him. His eyes opened and stared into yours and you couldn’t help but smile.
“Hi,” he whispered back. You both layed their, gazing at each other for what seemed like the longest time before you broke eye contact and looked down at Josh’s lips. He must have noticed because his head inched a little bit closer towards yours.
“Can I?” you asked softly and he nodded before he touched his lips to yours. It was a soft kiss, but you didn’t want to pull away.
“Y/N, we shouldn’t” Josh whispered as he pulled away. You bit your lip and looked down.
“Tyler is my best friend, and you’re my best friend, and we just shouldn’t.”
“Then why does it feel so right?” you asked. You looked back up at Josh who was already looking down at you. “You said I deserve to be happy, and what if you make me happy?”
“You make me happy too, Y/N but it’s too soon.”
“Tyler doesn’t love me anymore, and I don’t want to love him anymore either. Please just kiss me,” you stated leaning in and planting another kiss on his lips. This time you wrapped your arms around Josh’s neck and his hands danced around your back.
“This does feel so right,” Josh spoke as he took a breath. His lips came planting down back down on yours as he pulled you up onto his lap. You moved your kisses from his lips towards his neck and Josh moaned. You pushed your hips into him and you could feel him become excited.
“Josh,” you murmured as you could feel his hands make their way under the t-shirt you were wearing. “Stop.”
“What’s wrong?” Josh removed his hands from your shirt and you sat back down next to him.
“Can we just kiss? Like, take it slow?” You were glad it was dark in the room because you could feel your cheeks were hot with embarrassment.
“Of course, Y/N. I want you to be happy, and feel safe,” he planted a soft kiss on your forehead and you sighed. You hadn’t felt this safe in a long time, and you felt so comfortable and happy being wrapped up in Josh’s arms.
“We should sleep,” you whispered. Josh nodded and you both laid back under the covers and Josh’s arms were around you once again.
“I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” Josh purred into the back of your hair and the last thing you remember is falling asleep smiling.