A/N: In a nebulously after season four era, I write out my feelings about MK's new monkey form (sorta) cw gender dysphoria talk
"Alright, MK," Tang says, taking a seat next to MK at the bar just before closing. "Why do you hate your monkey form so much? I know it's not just because of demon stuff."
"What do you mean?" MK laughs nervously, refusing to look at Tang, as he grabs bowls off tables. Though MK can't see it, Tang gives him a rather flat look in return. The way MK's shoulders go up, nearly to his ears, Tang knows he can sense it. "I'm not acting weird at all! I'm just being MK. Good ol' delivery boy MK. Perfectly normal, not weird, MK! A good 'ol boy."
An awkward laugh follows the ramble, and Tang's mouth screws up, because that's just it. Not MK being normal or not normal, but the defensiveness of it. How much he asserts just who he is. And suddenly, it hits Tang, like a lightning bolt, and he feels a little dumb for not seeing it sooner. Because he has seen this exact behaviour from MK once before. Gently, Tang pats the stool next to him. "Come on, tell me what's really going on."
MK frowns hard, biting his lip and squeezing his fingers around the bowls till Tang thinks the ceramic might just break. Then he puts them down on the counter with a sigh which makes his whole body deflate, sitting next to him. "I just-" MK starts, leg bouncing and playing with his fingers. Tang watches patiently, leaning on the counter. The foot MK isn't bouncing curls around the stool's bar, his knee knocking into the leg. His voice is quieter when he starts again. "Every time I'm in the monkey form, it's like-" He flounders, hands coming up to gesture, his fingers curling into his palms. Reopening them, MK looks down, seeing the familiar lines and pale skin he's used to. There's no fur there, not now, but a part of him still sees it. Like it's hiding, just under the surface, and for a moment he's scared he'll glitch again like he did in the scroll. But he hasn't glitched since they got out, not really. (It doesn't mean the form isn't there, hiding under his skin like an omen. Like a crawling itch he can't scratch but makes him want to claw into his skin and pull, that feels so wrong in a way he can't articulate. Curling his hands up again, he tucks them between his thighs, grasping the stool under him. MK takes a breath, and lets it out slowly, reminding himself that even if the others won't understand, Tang will.
"I like my body," MK says slowly. A corner of his mouth ticks up, a small huff of a laugh leaving him. "Really like it, actually. It's- It's me." He looks at Tang with a smile. "I look in the mirror, and I'm able to go 'yep. that's MK!' and believe it, you know? But the monkey form... that's... that's not me. That's not MK- I don't know what it is, who it is, but it's not MK."
MK bites his lip again, feeling emotions he hasn't felt this strongly in a few years crop up again, swirling in his throat like weighted heat. Really, all of this just feels like a reminder of a few things he'd prefer to forget. Of fears he'd forgotten, when the surgery made those fears obsolete. He sighs again, resting his forehead on the counter. "It feels like I'm reliving puberty. Which sucks, like, I thought I was done with all that, you know? You and Pigsy, you... You helped me fix it, and now it feels like it's all ruined. Like I'm getting a body I don't know again, except this time I don't even know if I'll be permanently stuck with it like Monkey King is or what. And everyone wants me to just accept that! Like, sure, MK, have fun with weird demon monkey puberty!"
Tang watches as MK rubs his hands through his hair, making it a mess and causing his headband to slide down into his eyebrows. Frowning softly, he reaches out, gently readjusting the cloth to rest higher up MK's forehead. Really, he feels sort of ashamed in himself, that he hadn't even considered this. It'd... it'd mess him up, too, if he were the one with the sudden new form. MK looks at him, eyes big and brown just like Pigsy's, tears making them watery. Tang brushes his hand higher, straightening MK's hair. "Do you want me to talk to Pigsy for you?"
"Please?" MK says, lower lip out in a pout, and Tang ruffles his hair, completely undoing what he'd just fixed.
"Of course, MK," Tang says with a smile. If anyone can really understand what MK's going through, it'll be Pigsy. After all, Pigsy has his own demon form. "We'll fix it together, okay? Just the three of us. It'll be alright, you'll see."
Eyes watering, MK moves forward, wrapping his arms around Tang in a tight hug. Tang hugs him back, just as tight. "Thanks, Mr. Tang."
