#trauma integration

[theweightofdivinity]

Some of us learned the hard way that pain doesn’t disappear just because you stop talking about it.

I didn’t learn this in theory. I learned it by living inside my body when it wasn’t safe to look away. So I learned to stay. To feel. To name what was happening so it wouldn’t rot inside me. Over time, pain became something I learned how to listen to, not because I wanted to, but because avoidance can destroy you from deep within. So when something hurts now, I don’t know how to pretend it didn’t happen. I need to understand it. I need to speak it out loud so it can settle… it’s awareness. When I’m asked to “just move on,” my body doesn’t feel peace. It feels abandoned. When I name what happened, I’m not trying to fight, I’m trying to stay connected to myself. Avoidance may calm the surface, but it doesn’t repair the rupture underneath, and when something isn’t repaired, it doesn’t disappear. It comes back later to visit as distance, resentment, fear, or withdrawal. I need to be allowed to exist without being minimized or rushed, because I’ve already lived what happens when pain is swallowed instead of integrated.

I know the cost of that.

[thepointprocess]

TRAUMA INTEGRATION AND RELEASE

TRAUMA INTEGRATION AND RELEASE

Do you find yourself on shifting sands—where the ground beneath your feet are constantly changing and throwing you off balance, and leaving you scared and defensive? We disconnect from our emotional life when we are overwhelmed, humiliated, or perceive ourselves as insignificant, unseen, invisible, undesirable, non-loveable, inadequate, unwanted and awkward. I can help you create a supportive…

View On WordPress

[divineexpression]

Toxic behaviour is found in being human. It makes it way more conplicated, if we put the labels female & masculine in front of it. People just have unhealthy patterns that keep them from being loving individuals. Of course we can individuate what is what for whom, but in general, the source of imbalance is the same. It is the same issues that make us act ugly towards others & towards self.

[divineexpression]

In unhealthy dynamics the wounded self says "I love you, so I stay with you" & the patterns repeat, nothing changes, the hurt multiplies. The loving self says "I love you, so I leave", for the sake of things being able to settle down, integrate & change.

(This cannot be generalised, if both parties are able & willing to change the dynamic there is no need to go seperate ways, but if not, it is time to change things up & interrupt the dynamic)

[divineexpression]

Whenever you find yourself longing for a partner, believing that once you have them by your side you will feel whole, loved & at peace, remember that you are projecting the responsibility for your well being onto your romantic partners. Don't try to go to them to find release! As children, we long for our parents to save us, to love us, to give us what we need. & as we grow up these longings still exist within us. We still want our mother to soothe us & we still want our father to be proud of us (vice versa). To live fulfilling relationships with others we have to speak them free from needing to heal us. They are not here to do this job & whenever you put them into this role they will set boundaries, hopefully. We will meet resistance at least & then we ask "why don't you just give me what I need? Why are you hurting me? You need to be different!". We can not put this burden onto them. It is our task to care for us, to join groups in which we can be honest & authentic about our feelings, in which we can heal & release the pain, to become so loving with ourselves that we don't project the parental role onto more or less romantic encounters anymore - sometimes it's just friends, or teachers, or whoever you meet, anyone who is a space to project your mother/father on. Speak them free & become your own loving parent by no longer trying to get from them what you need to give yourself. It's time to meet as equals, fully responsible for how we feel.

[divineexpression]

A lack of relationship skills & unhealed childhood trauma leads to a chaotic recreation of "love" in later relationships. It is the inability to soothe oneself & care for one's own needs (those we wished our parents would have fulfilled) that leads to disoriented romantic relationships - always fighting for what we need. All we wish for is to feel at home in another ones arms. All we find is the roller coaster of connection & separation created by showing up immaturely & not being able to handle inner conflict with grace & patience. The only way to create harmonious & peaceful relationships is by building a home within self & looking at those self sabotaging patterns. All we want is peace, but inside there is still war, so there must be peace first. It starts with being okay about the places where there is war - Acceptance of self.

[divineexpression]

The question is when did it feel so unsafe to express myself openly that I rather shut down & started to hide parts of me...

[divineexpression]

When i was 15, i was always told that I already look like 18. Just a few days ago a woman thought I was 14!! & it kind of shocked me to hear how young she thought i was. But thinking about this & reflecting on my journey so far, it does make a lot of sense. Back then I was full of unprocessed trauma, my teenage years were heavy & while one can argue that it was the makeup that made me look older, I definitely feel much lighter today than I did with 15. It's like the heaviness has lifted since then & I could let go of the things that drained me & depleted me of energy. I feel energised, I feel happy & i feel free, which might give off innocent energy to people not aware of my actual age. I hope to keep this youthfulness as I progress further on my journey.

May you find the courage to go new ways, face what's holding you back & open your heart to the love & flow that is you. May your inner child be free & radiate from the inside out.