Sparrow had resigned herself to the growing discontent in her chest. But Tsala, neighbor turned friend, could see it plainly on her face that Sparrow needed someone to listen to her. So a late night when the sky had exploded with stars, Tsala had asked for Sparrow to accompany her for a walk.
Tsala led Sparrow to a place in the village Sparrow had yet to visit. After some time, Tsala exhaled, sitting down on a rock and looked at the murky lake in front of them.
“It’s a nice night out.”Tsala said after an extended pause. Sparrow only made a low grunt in agreement.
“I like to come out here to think or when something’s bothering me.” Tsala said, eyes aglow with the midnight twinkle of stars. “No matter what I’m struggling with, coming out here makes that problem seem so small, so insignificant. Under the stars I know my ancestors are there, giving me strength.”
Sparrow turned her eyes down from the lights, her chest tightening. It had been many years since her parents and sister were still on this earth. And right now she would give anything for a hug and some words of encouragement from her sister.
After a beat of silence, Sparrow shook her head and said, “I don’t know if our ancestors can help me much.”
Tsala shot Sparrow a quizzical look. Sparrow knew what she was thinking. There was no problem to small or too big for your ancestor’s guidance. Tsala, unlike Sky, held the same belief about the ancestral plane. That after a last breath in this world, your spirit never goes away. It ascends to a place no living person can visit, but from there they watch, encourage, and lead their descendants down the right path.
“Look, it’s just....” Sparrow let out a laugh despite herself, blushing at the thoughts spinning in her head. Everything she was feeling made sense inside, but saying her pain aloud felt almost silly.
Finally Sparrow found the strength to push past her embarrassment and discomfort. “It’s just not something I can go to the Ancestors for.”
Sparrow listed off a number of things weighing on her.
Her list started off with small things. She was getting used to a new routine still. Then she brought up her larger concerns, skirting around the biggest issue of all. She was struggling with watching the children without Sky around as much.
Tsala listened patiently, kindness alight in her eyes.
Another moment of silence passed when Sparrow finally sighed and reluctantly said, “It’s Sky.”
“Sky?” Tsala raised her eyebrows. The answer clearly surprised her. On the outside they looked more than good they were the perfect couple. Sparrow was just as madly in love with him as she was when they first expressed their feelings for each other...but there was something missing since moving to be apart of the tribe.
“Sky hasn’t....I mean we haven’t...” Sparrow blushed hard, fumbling with her hands to explain. “We haven’t exactly been...well, you know.”
After Tsala still didn’t understand, Sparrow closed her eyes and the truth burst out.
“We haven’t had relations since he left for his solo hunting trip.”
Tsala smacked her hand against her face and groaned.
Sparrow only nodded solemnly.
A duck swimming near them quacked in solidarity. Sparrow managed a laugh at the sound.
“I can’t believe this.” Tsala said. “The way he looks at you? It’s hard to imagine he isn’t trying his luck bedding ou every night.”
Sparrow nodded vigorously.
“He used to be that way. His hands all over me, squeezing, touching, wanting to be as close to. my body as possible. Sometimes it feels like he’s holding back and I don’t know why. I want him to be that way with me again.” Sparrow paused. “I wonder sometimes if it’s because of River and Rain’s birth. He has nightmares sometimes about losing me, abou what could have happened.”
Tsala listened intently and when Sparrow was done, she flashed her the most mischievous look.
“That look of yours...I know it.” Sparrow said, raising an eyebrow.
Tsala blinked innocently at Sparrow.
“You can’t just give me that look without telling me!” Sparrow said, narrowing her eyes. Tsala let out a chuckle.
“The answer is simple, Sparrow. You’re going to stop waiting for him to seduce you.” Tsala leaned in, giving Sparrow the sauciest of looks. “YOU are going to seduce HIM.”