Eddie agrees to go to the gym with Steve ONCE and fully intends on making fun of him the whole time, but doesn't consider that his shirt will ride up a lil bit and he'll get a glimpse of the Harringtummy
Cue a months-long streak where Eddie insists on going to the gym together more and more often just for the view, until they're going six times a week and get absolutely jacked
Meanwhile, Steve was already into Eddie when he was a bean pole but now they're both strong as hell and actively drooling & pining while spotting each other
Our society has created this whole dogma around exercise where you're just supposed to hate it. It's supposed to feel like a painful chore to the point where it's frequently used as a punishment even for grade school kids.
And honestly what fucking garbage is that? Movement serves two purposes: function & joy
It should never be a punishment. Movement should fulfill a need or physically feel good. Preferably both, but that's not always feasible.
Therefore exercise should either: facilitate function or increase joy. That's it.
Doing burpees until you throw up does neither. Grueling exercise promotes injury and a hatred of exercise, and there's simply no reason for that kind of exertion to be considered normal fitness.
I have been talking for quite a while about the various work and preparation I need to do to return to the water, technically, mentally, dietarily, and physically.
This is the regimen I have been doing for the past couple weeks and building for a while and hope to extend longer term to help build my strength to return to the water.
Monday
- CO2 Table
- Bodyweight Resistance Training
Tuesday
- O2 Table
Wednesday
- CO2 Table
- Swim at Pool
Thursday
- O2 Table
Friday
- CO2 Table
- Swim at Pool
Saturday
- O2 Table
- Bodyweight Resistance Training
Sunday
- Rest
Each day after a table I also do some sort of breathing exercise whether that is a breathhold, breathhold walking, multiple held breaths with only a single inhale between (similar to how life in the water will actually be), or some sort of resistance breathing like laying on my stomach to strengthen my breathing muscles.
If the weather is nice as well I try to go for a walk in the mornings, midday, or evening either to the train-station (3km total), to the overlook (12,5km total), or just going glass hunting (around 1km or so). Some days I will also go for a swim in the sea or canal or somewhere. I have the goal someday to swim to the next town which is 10km in total.
Bodyweight Resistance Training tries to target five muscle groups: upper legs, lower legs, core, obliques, and lower back. The arms are largely omitted as it is not a major muscle used when swimming as I do and in the suit I will not have my flippers held in the streamline position since my face will be doing that instead. Generally I do 2 sets of an exercise from each of the list to two before failure (or failure if I misjudge things).
Bodyweight Exercises
- Upper Legs: Squats, Sissy Squats, Split Squat, Reverse Lunge, Hamstring Curl (With fin for weight)
- Lower Legs: Calf Raises, Donkey Calf Raises, Fin Raises Back/Stomach
- Core: Leg Lifts, Hollow Ups, Plank, Hip Bridges, Candlesticks (not strong enough for this one anymore), V-ups (stomach gets in the way of this one still)
- Oblique: Side Leg Lifts, Side Crunches, Russian Twists, Hip Bridges Side
- Back: Glute Bridges, Reverse Plank Bridge, Bird-Dog, Arch Ups, Flutter Kicks, Good Mornings
These are at least what I can largely do right now. Eventually I may be able to add more exercises, more weight (which for a lot of things the fin can do quite well with since that is 5kg very easily), or move to using machines for some things.
Hopefully this routine, and evolutions of it will help give me the strength in my body to be able to breathe effectively and swim strongly. I have already begun to notice some differences going up stairs and I can spyhop up to my navel with enough depth. I think with a stronger fin (since I am still using a fin-fun advanced that has become honestly quite worn out) I could get yet a fair bit higher, and I hope someday I will be able to breach entirely from the water.
I don't think I really grasped while growing up that there was more to this disease than the cankers. Don't get me wrong they are painful and sometimes they are huge. Sometimes they last two days and sometimes two weeks. They are usually accompanied by a fever(a good ole teeth chattering chills one) and fatigue.
I don't know since I haven't told anyone but my mom and we don't discuss the behcets but the absolute pain my body is in sometimes is something I can't even explain. Everything hurts including my skin. I have recently started getting nauseous more often. I try not to read too much into anything but did recently find out that tends to happen after a few years.
Anyways all of this to say I feel like absolute shit right now and I'm upset at myself for not waking today but I also could barely make my whole shift at work and I know I need to exercise and lose weight and it will help me feel less shitty with less weight. I honestly thought about keto again. It's the only way I lose weight and I really don't want to but I don't know what else to do. I have a physical next month and plan on talking to my primary but I just needed a place to complain today.
Things I wish I could tell me mom about the fact that I’ve gained weight.
Yes, I know I’ve gained weight over the past decade. Yes, I know I’m 40 lbs heavier than when I was 30 years old. Yes, I know this is a shocking change from the person who, for most of their life, was extremely thin.
But I grew up living with you, a woman who hated her body. And as a teen — yes, literally as a teen in the early 2000’s with skinny was all the rage — I said “if I ever gain weight, I am never treating myself like that”.
So yeah. I wear a size 36-38 men’s pant now. I don’t actually know what that is in women’s pants. My leggings are an XL. I have a stomach that sticks out. My hips and ass are voluptuous.
I don’t own a scale. I refuse. I will not do to myself what you’ve done. I will not mutilate my stomach with surgery. I will not yo-yo my weight.
This is the size my body wants to be right now. My genes saw I was 30 and said “ah, it’s finally time to put on some weight!” I’m not mad about this.
Yet despite all my efforts to be body positive I’m not going to lie and say I don’t look in the mirror and go “that’s not what I look like… is it?” I DO have work still to do to accept these hips. But I’m doing the work. I look at fashion of fat men and women in the style I aspire to wear.
I’m trying to get back my physical health — not to be skinny, but to be cardiovascularly strong, physically strong, with long endurance. I want that back, so I’m trying to work on that.
My body doesn’t look the way it used to. That’s natural. We are not unchanging.
