If you want to support intersex people, stop using the TMA/TME binary.
I’m saying this as an intersex person.
The general consensus (from what I’ve seen) is that TMA means “transmisogyny affected” and TME means “transmisogyny exempt”. At first it sounds like a good binary, but quickly falls apart once you see its flaws.
In usage, TMA refers exclusively to transfeminine or “AMAB” people. It does not acknowledge the transmisogyny faced by those who would be exempt from it.
For example, a gender-nonforming cis woman would face transmisogyny for looking like a transgender woman. Would she still be TME, despite being a target?
An intersex man would be considered TME, but if he goes through an estrogenising puberty that makes him look feminine and become a target of transmisogyny, would he become TMA or stay TME?
Is a non-binary person TME or TMA? I know it depends on their assigned gender at birth, which makes the whole point of this flawed system completely moot.
And ignoring all those said flaws, what is the point of inventing entirely new binaries just to show who is “exempt” from bigotry, when everyone can face it one way or another?
What about the entire intersex community, who can’t neatly fit into every single binary you make? What about those who can’t be categorised as “TME”, nor “TMA”?
It is simply intersexist in almost every way. There is no point of showing who can be and can’t be affected by transmisogyny when you refuse to acknowledge the millions of people who don’t neatly fit in a binary.
And if your first thought is some form of “I don’t care” or “they’re TME by default” then you are the problem. This sort of binary is actively harming the community and only putting everybody in a divide.
Stop making useless binaries and actually focus on the real problems that plague the world!
Focus on the transgender men who are being silenced because of their assigned sex at birth!
Focus on the intersex babies being forcibly mutilated before they can even crawl!
Focus on the transgender people facing execution, possibly being stoned or flogged for the mere act of being transgender!
Focus on SOMETHING ELSE! Do a change in the world! Advocate for your community! Protest transphobic laws, regulations and policies that are being passed around the world!
Stop focusing on yourself, and help the people everywhere who are being actively kicked out of their homes, killed, and mutilated against their will for being queer!
And most importantly, stop referring to yourself as “TME” or “TMA”. It helps no one and only signals to the wrong people. It actively divides the community and harms everybody.
All of this is happening around the world, even in some of the most progressive nations. This is not limited to the “backwards” and “savage” countries. This can happen in yours, too!
My own country has me banned from a normal life for being queer. I face a potential death penalty for being gay. I won’t even be able to go on Hajj if anyone finds out I’m transgender. I won’t even be able to practice my own culture!
I am forced to stay in a shell that isn’t mine. A shell with spikes—one I can not move in and one I can barely breathe in.
And I’m supposed to care about being “TME” and respecting every single order from radfems who live privileged lives where there is little to worry about—where most of their problems are little and far in-between.
I am supposed to respect the same people who hate my mere existence, who want me dead for the mistake of being a man, while the people around me actively talk about the “disease” that is queerness and how they want to protect me from it.
I am supposed to shut my mouth and let the people who mutter “theyfab”, “transandrobro”, and every single other slur under the sun at me speak for the entire community.
While my own people are ACTIVELY being shunned out of society for acting gay. For crossdressing. For having a face that looks even slightly feminine or too far from their assigned sex.
While my own people are being forced to “get fixed”. To undergo genital surgery for being intersex. While they are being actively murdered for having ambiguous genitalia.
And you care about me not being your model view of a good queer?
Genuine question about transintersex stuff, not because I support it but because I want to be able to back up why I don't support it, what are your thoughts on situations where someone wants or whatever a specific variation, not just overall intersex? Like someone who wishes they had PCOS, or LCH, or Turner Syndrome? I think you make a really good point about how the idea that someone can transition to be intersex also implies that someone can transition to perisex and the intersexism in that btw, I hadn't considered that aspect of it before.
I see it the same way I see people who are "trans autistic" or "trans disabled"
A lot of intersex variations are also legitimate medical conditions or, alternatively, some medical conditions cause intersex variations. PCOS and Turner Syndrome can be genuinely debilitating conditions and some intersex variations do count as disabilities. Wanting to alter yourself to achieve a disabled state or mimic a disability is fetishization of the bodies of disabled people. There's a lot of grey area and overlap when it comes to disabilities and intersex variations.
Also, you just can't reasonably achieve that state. You can't intentionally cause cysts to appear on your ovaries and you can't remove one of your chromosomes. And attempting to surgically or otherwise intentionally mimic the outward appearance of these conditions is extremely fucked up. You wouldn't attempt to surgically mimic the appearance of someone with downs syndrome or dwarfism, or intentionally act in a way you think is autistic, would you? And if you exclusively want the non-harmful, purely cosmetic aspects of these conditions then you don't really want these conditions and that is just further proof of fetishization of disabled people.
And for intersex variations that aren't medically dibilitating and are harmless (like my own variation) trying to mimic them still wouldn't put you into the category of intersex because it still wouldn't be treated the same by society and would be a completely different experience overall. If you wanted to, for example, mimic the effects of hyperandrogenism you could take hormones and intentionally bring on masculine traits. However, you would, under no circumstances, have those traits then be pathologized by medical professionals. The medical community, societal views set aside, would view these intentional changes as a success of science while an intersex body would be treated as a failure to comply to the "correct" way a body should have formed and would then be forcibly changed and "fixed".
Intentional changes can never be intersex variations because intersex variations and the basis of intersexism rely on the natural state of our bodies being pathologized by society. If our bodies had never been treated as disordered (specifically for the way our bodies don't align with the sex binary) then the term "intersex" never would have been made and is the entire purpose of our community and label.
And before anyone says it: No, it's not contradictory to say our bodies are pathologized while also acknowledging that some intersex variations are debilitating. The reason why is that society views the harmless parts of being intersex as just as debilitating as the harmful parts, sometimes even moreso. For example, sometimes people with genital differences have difficulties with urination but instead of just treating them for improved functionality a doctor is more likely to prioritize the cosmetic aspects and mutilate the individual beyond fixing the dysfunction to align them with the sex binary, usually damaging the functionality of their body even further.
This is true for every intersex variation, including the ones you listed like PCOS. Instead of just treating the pain or only treating potential infertility issues if the person wants that treatment if they want to become pregnant in the future, people with PCOS are often times forced or coerced into taking hormones to forcibly preserve their ability to have children and alter their physical appearance to align with the sex binary. Even when these hormones make the individual sick or in some other way cause harm to their body or mental health.
The basis of the intersex community is our shared experiences with haveing our bodily autonomy violated and our bodies mutilated without our consent simply because we committed the social crime of naturally having bodies different from what society deems normal. Going through a willful transition is the exact opposite of the intersex experience. Especially when actually intersex people who are also in some way trans struggle to go through the medical transitions that they actually want, even moreso than perisex trans people. Oftentimes, intersexuality adds an additional roadblock to getting the medical care we actually want and need.
Someone who intentionally brought on their variations in sex characteristics aren't going to have the same experiences of intersex people. Therefore, not only is it impossible for a perisex person to transition to be intersex, disrespectful to actually intersex people and implies we can also be successfully eradicated from society, but it's also just not the correct descriptive term for their experiences and only serves to rob actually intersex people of the language we need and only language we have to describe our experiences.
TL:DR: If the condition they want to intentionally transition to have is a legitimate medical condition with debilitating aspects then it's ableist as well as intersexist and is the same as wanting to transition to be disabled. If the variation they want is harmless and they simply want to mimic the cosmetic aspects then it still doesn't make you intersex because the basis of the intersex identity comes from our bodies being changed (or the attempt/desire to change our bodies) WITHOUT our consent. A willful transition is the opposite of that experience and robs us of the only language we have to describe our experiences.
Cannot tw this enough so here's another tw and imma hide it
Gotta love it when my OCD and body work together to make me miserable /sarc
So I have empathy pain; Sometimes I feel pain that I see, literally around the same area and everything. Usually not exactly how it would feel, but still painful as hell.
Example: I see someone stabbed in their stomach in a TV show and I get a sharp and consistent pain in my stomach for a minute or two.
But, you see, sometimes that also applies to thoughts and oh how my OCD loves to take advantage of that...
It's showing me imagery of a clit getting snipped by scissors over and over again. It's so painful, I'm gettin' so frickin' nauseous. Please, any other part of my body, not my genitals!!!
I usually just repeat "stop, stop, stop" until it goes away or watch something to distract myself, but writing this has actually distracted me enough so it stopped the imagery. Still kinda nauseous though..
Wonder how others would feel seeing Deepstrider pregnant like….24/7, ever since he's gotten conjunxed to that alien it's become a rare occurrence to see him not round with eggs, I think he'd be embarrassed to admit, especially to himself, that he's addicted to laying them
Imagine if he was being fragged while trying to lay your eggs though, is your organic spike skinny enough to let the eggs pass through or is he all plugged up while trying his hardest to lay them? maybe your spike 𝘪𝘴 too big and you end up unknowingly edging him since the eggs aren't passing through his forge seal and valve so Deepstrider's not able to have the mind numbing overloads he's been waiting for
I wonder what Deepstrider would do if his conjunx had to be away for about a month, could be a mission or maybe some family stuff, so it's the first time in awhile that he's not being constantly stuffed and it ends up annoying him to high hell, he tries to overload while you're away but he feels so…empty, without his forge seal being stretched open he physically can't orgasm without you anymore
When you do come back you have so much eggs ready to be laid inside him it actually hurts a little, Deepstrider almost cries tears of joy since he's finally going to be able to overload, then he genuinely ends up crying while y'all are interfacing and crashes so hard he goes into recharge due to all the orgasms he's having, that doesn't stop you though….you still have tons of eggs left to lay
-wife anon
They'd understand why he does this, right? They could learn to understand that the charge flares just didn't stop, and you just looked so happy, and how was he supposed to say no? He's not- he could go without it. Right.
I don't know what size you are in comparison, but your ovipositioner has to be pretty sleek, stretchy either way. So maybe you could, but I really think you'd just jam it up, really. He's probably carrying duds, unless you've got the facilities to take care of whomever hatches, so you're a bit rougher than he strictly thinks is 'safe' for them.
You're his conjunx, so it's only right that you'd want to use him to cum, right? So you could really just carelessly pound away at his fat valve. It might already be stretched out if you decided to spike him after he'd gone into labor. Sure- your eggs are trying to escape, but if the eggs weren't small enough to pass you, painfully slow, then it's amusing to watch Deepstrider's face turn as you stop them from coming out of his forge, push them back inside, even. It's not easy, dilated and clenching hard just for this, but you can tell every time what he's feeling because his expressions, occasionally stuck idle and hard to twist, were so dramatic. Panting with his glossa stuck out, trying to slam his hips into yours while he dug his denta into his lip, dazed, optics up, or with cute little electric tears sparking off of him.
Please don't interrupt this, this is his favorite part, and if you keep fragging it, his processor is going to remember how excruciating it actually is- how loud he should be screaming. They all want to go out, he wants them to go out, please don't stall the line and leave his aching- or shoving them back inside when his forge is swollen tight and constricting on itself to get them out. There's no room.
When you leave, and leave without pressing a new clutch of eggs into him, he waves you off casually, maybe considers what he'll try to do now that he can actually touch his array. When was the last time he has? That brief intermission between clutches? Deepstrider's spent an awful long time without putting his servos on it, only fruitlessly rubbing on the outside panel if he was. When his next charge flare rolls around, he inflates his spike (manually. Guess his systems haven't done it automatically for a while. That's probably why it didn't..) and strokes himself in his servos a way he remembers liking. It's good, don't get him wrong, but he never gets past making a puddle of transfluid drip out of it without an actual overload.
Touching his valve should work. He knows he can overload with his valve. You can make him overload with his valve. So he's chasing that high, fingering himself or rubbing his node. Touching his node is outright incredible, such a wonderful thing that keeps being neglected, and it's so oversensitive under his servos that he rolls into the pain happily. It feels sooooo good. This was what he was missing, right? And he does get so close- over and over again, Deepstrider is a panting wreck of a mess with pink stained hands- but he just can't.
He doesn't really get it until you come back and force his forge seal open. He practically perks up at the flash of pain, so excited for what happens next. When you groan and roll into him, complaining about how tight he is, he's purring his engine.
Your eggs filling up his forge feel so much better than his spike ever could. They just make everything stretch, touch places he can't reach himself. He just gets wetter as the pressure on his pump gets heavier. If you touch his node now, he'll overload so hard it might shock your organic frame in a way that's more pain than pleasure, but he's so pent upppp- squirting all over you is a relief, a sign that he's finally getting somewhere. Fragging him while he's that soon after an overload hurts, but he's long since gotten used to this routine. Pain is pleasure. Pleasure is pain.
He's already so much more of a mess under you, sloppy and twitching, babbling out useless words and tiny little cries for you to stop give him more.
When you keep going and he crashes, it just keeps hitting the same argument over and over while you're in him. His processor isn't letting him up until you've let up, and why would you do that? So his frame is just made to distort, chassis slowly swelling though his plating hides most of it. He's reached the point where he's usually sobbing at you, saying his gestation tank is going to tear, but if he could theoretically fit a few sparklings in there, surely he could manage to stretch more for some of your children. Sure, that's a slow, gradual swell over megacycles.. but he's a strong bot.
When that seems to really be telling you to stop- plating removed and everything- you do your normal routine of using his valve as an overflow container. But if you have a few stragglers.. he's so soft, he couldn't mind if you laid a few inside of his spike housing, right? His spike is accommodating enough, you just just mindlessly fill that new hole up too.
Deepstrider isn't conscious to beg you not to, tell you why not to. He's not going to be able to lay those, for one. Trying to pressurize to let them out might crush them before more than one or two escaped. If he's able to, even. If you aren't gentle- or if you keep going, you're just going to break it. And maybe you're more relieved than concerned when it finally gives you a bit more room- his mods giving up and expanding- but now he's gonna have to go a medic if he ever wants a spike again. You just broke it into a pussy- permanently.
He's going to come back online in agony. Everything aches, it feels like his tank is tearing- like his pump is being stomped on. Considering his spike at all is just painful. Deepstrider doesn't want to move an inch until some of it just stops. He's so, so stuffed, and it hurts. You're going to have to take care of him for a while until his frame gets a bit more accustomed to it. He's so gravid he doesn't look like he should be walking. There's an unnatural budge in his front underneath his belly, too. That one stings more when you rub it. Give it a while and some program trawling, and he'll figure out exactly what you did to it.
Once the soreness is a more normal level, the aching routine, I think he can overload in between flashes of white hot seizure. There's so many. His forge seal probably couldn't close properly- or it's being pressed into on either side and at risk of breaking.
He's just gonna crash again once they're done cookin', and he gets to pry his panels open. They're eager to come out- some of them. But that labor lasts so long his tactile array is practically burnt. The pressure in his forge is so immense, I think he might get egg bound. Stuck up against each so harshly, jamming the queue. When he does flicker online again, he still looks like you put twins in him. You- help him. Fragging- get you fingers in there, your spike- shift everything, okay? Or run him a bath.
He's kinda glaring at you through the surface of it, ducking his helm like that intentionally, but it does take a significant amount of pressure off and gradually loosens the stuck eggs. They're such a relief coming out, and you can read that right off of his dazed faceplates.
if you have a vaginoplasty [as in igm], is it possible to not have a g spot?
Yes, very possible. G spots are natally developed, they cannot be crafted.
Some people with IGM vaginoplasties will already have a G spot (especially if the vagina was present already, just shallow/narrow), but it's very common for one not to be present.
The closest to a G spot someone who didn't already have one could get is prostate stimulation through the vagina (if they have a prostate) and/or phallic* stimulation through the vagina (if they have a phallus that has nerves under the skin, such as the internal body of the clitoris.)
(*Phallus in this context refers to penises, clitorises, and clitorophalluses.)
