â Incorrectly marked red on Shinigami eyes, I am literally transgenderâ
[They/Them, 24]
Just a place for me to vent/get thoughts out that are bothering me because all other social media has a character limit. Everything is okay to reblog unless I turn them off for some reason. https://en.pronouns.page/@the-real-mccoye
I have (finally) been marked red on shinigami eyes! If you're curious why: It's because I'm an intersex trans person who supports intersex trans people not having a perisex experience with their gender/sex! Shinigami eyes has had problems with intersexism for awhile now and the people behind it are extremely intersexist! It's run by a group of people who are biased towards listening to the opinions of those that are inherently hostile towards intersex people and their lived experiences.
If you need to know: I believe that trans people are whatever gender they say they are, regardless of any other factors. (Trans women are women, trans men are men, etc.) I believe that transmisogyny AND transandrophobia are real. I believe that intersex people should be allowed to use the trans label however they see fit, even if it doesn't align with the perisex typical view of what trans means. I am against transmedicalism and other inherently transphobic beliefs coming from within the trans community. (Some of this stuff is listed below in my DNI but I'm putting it here just so that it's Clear)
About:
Name: Coye (Pronounced the same as "koi", like, the fish)
Pronouns: They/Them, Shi/Hir if you're also intersex and comfortable with it.
Do not use gendered language when you refer to me. This includes dude/bro/man/girl/ma'am etc. I might refer to myself indirectly (or directly) as a girl/boy or whatever but that doesn't mean anyone else gets to.
Note: I will block you if you tag me in random "if this gets x notes I'll do x" posts
DNI under the read more
DNI/DNF/Just stop existing thanks:
Proshipper (Someone who supports all fiction, including ones that are racist, pedophilic, or in some other way hurt real people. If you think "fiction doesn't affect reality" you suck. This includes people who support "real person fics")
MAP ("minor attracted person" aka pedophiles) and supporters
TERF/SWERF (Trans/sex worker exclusive radical feminist. Sex negativity and transphobia of any kind aren't allowed. My feminism is explicitly pro sex worker and pro trans woman)
Exclusionists (I'm alloaro and I belong in the queer community specifically for that reason, if you disagree with that then leave)
Asexuals who plan on talking over me when I talk about Aromantic specific issues. (If your message contains "well I'm asexual" then actually shut up, I don't want to hear it)
Panphobes
People who are anti-bi/mspec lesbians. Bi lesbians have been around since the creation of the term lesbian and defining lesbianism solely on lack of attraction to men is weird, exclusionary, and not how we should be doing things.
Intersexist / intersex fetishists (anyone who uses "DSD" terminology, anyone who thinks you can transition to be intersex, Perisex people who post intersex fetish porn in the intersex tags, you think afab people can't be transfem or amab people can't be transmasc or use "tme/tma" labels, you think it's okay for perisex people to use h*rmaphrodite in any context, etc)
Transid/radqueer (If you think you can transition to be intersex, disabled, or into a different race then you're weird. Stop)
"Pro-para" (I'm generally of the opinion that harmless paraphilias/kinks are none of my business and you aren't a bad person for having them but the pro-para community tends to also support pedos/zoos and thats a hard "you deserve prison" from me)
Transmeds (people who think you need dysphoria to be trans and other shitty transphobic beliefs)
Transandrophobe (if you think transandrophobia is a problematic word or whatever then you suck. If you think transmascs and trans men don't experience their own unique form of oppression then you suck.)
You don't "believe in" fatphobia. (Apparently the widespread belief that fat people are stupid, disgusting, lazy, unhygienic, and worth less as human beings is fine and normal and not indicative of any societal issues. Sure. /s)
You tell people to kill themselves, use sexual violence as an insult/comeback, think doxxing is okay, or think harassment can be justified. None of these things are okay in any context and if you engage in any of these behaviors then I want you to know that I genuinely think you're a bad person.
And all the obvious stuff (racists, facists, queerphobes, trumpies, antisemites, etc. All the obvious isms, phobias, and all that)
Also: I'm the admin of an AlloAro community here on tumblr, join if you're interested.
488 members, 405 posts about #alloaro #aroallo #allosexual aromantic ⢠A community by and for AlloAros
(Note: The member/post counter doesn't update on the link so it's actually a lot bigger than that right now)
Absolutely losing my mind right now because I just witnessed a whole ass opossum walk across the roof of the shed outside my window and then crawl through the broken door mission impossible style.
I cannot stress this enough: I have never once seen an opposum in my backyard before and it was just There like it paid rent.
I am here to provide you with the well written hate anon you requested:
How⌠dare you reblog something with Death Note on it. Donât you know people are murdered on that series? This is⌠diabolical. How could you ever endorse something like that.
"At Watari's insistence, I recently underwent a medical exam and, as it turns out, I have learned that I have a condition called Klinefelter Syndrome. By scientific standards, it is what is known as an intersex condition. Don't you think that's interesting, Light-kun?"
There's something I feel towards others that's not romantic or platonic or "love". It's something that's inherently tied to my alloaro identity. It's sexual attraction mixed with a deep longing for affection and closeness that I don't feel towards friends. Every label I've come across to describe it just doesn't feel right.
I've taken to simply describing it as "intimate" attraction. I want an intimate relationship. I think this is perfect because intimate means to be close, while also being a euphemism for sex.
I also think it would be hilarious to call the polyamorous version of intimate relationships "intimax"
Anyways I made a flag, yes it's watermelon colored, eat me
Hot pink: Sexual Attraction
Cream: Comfort and trust
Green: Non-romantic affection and closeness
I also made a poly-intimate flag, for when you want multiple intimate relationships. (Based on the new polyamorous flag, you can replace the yellow heart with any symbol but I just like the heart)
Yes, saying an entire species of animals is intersex is incorrect and problematic because intersex describes a deviation from the accepted norm and therefore an entire species can't be intersex because if they're all like that then it's not a deviation from the accepted norm and therefore misrepresents intersexuality and is bad
However: Spotted hyenas are fucking cool and I like them so therefore they represent me as an intersex individual
Yeah I never said that non-SAM aros or "not ace but not allo" aros were required to join the community. They're just... Allowed to be there and participate. If they personally want to be there and are comfortable with it then that's fine. That's all. It's really not that big of a deal.
Also the definition of allosexual absolutely should not be "feels sexual attraction" because you do realize that there's acespec people who do, in fact, feel sexual attraction, right? I kind of assumed we as a community moved past the "everyone but those that are strictly aro/ace with no attraction whatsoever are allo"
Check your sources Plaidos and Korrasera (link) oh my god
I've gone over this before (link), but I'll copy/paste what I've already said as I go through the apparent sources
The Ciba Collections mention "assigned sex of rearing" (1948) in the chapter about about sexual differentiation, with that page being about (CW drawn nude diagrams) Gonadal Dysgenesis (link). It doesn't appear to be discussing trans people at all nor does it use coercive(ly).
The 1965 "source" uses transgender the "same year" it was coined (doubtful), mentions papers from 2007, doesn't use coercive(ly), and clearly states it is the 20th editionâwhich came out in 2008, unlike the 15th edition which came out in 1965. An archived version of the 15th edition, from the actual publication date of 1965, is available on Internet Archive (link)âit doesn't mention trans people.
The 2002 claim is so easily debunkable it's not even funny. You can read it here (PDF). At the top, one of the first things to be written is "2002 (updated in 2011) from Timtum: A Trans Jew Zine", which originally was published in 1999 by the same author. You can scroll to read the scanned page (29-)31 here (link) (edit, if not, it can be viewed here [link]), CAFAB is not used in the original (nor does it explain how it was coined)
Claudia Johnson (quoted in Cosmopolitan) is a relationship, intimacy, and sex therapist, and I'm unable to decipher how such professions would make her a reliable source on this historical information. There are a lot of claims made, but none of them have or are solid evidence.
The 2015 source admits they do not have a source. A trans woman has already come forward and claimed she coined it around 2009 (link) (original sources listed aren't trustworthy/time stamps aren't accurate, similar to Korasera's post).
AGAB, ASAB, DSAB are all phrases that existed prior to the 2000's. The acronyms didn't just suddenly exist. There was a history of figuring out the wording.
The earliest I could find "the sex they were coercively assigned at birth" was on July 3, 2010
Here is an excerpt from another Livejournal
âCoercively assignedâ is another vital neologism [newly coined phrase]. Itâs not just more syllables to the word âassignedâ- which itself made headway against the reified naturalism of oneâs birth and its meaning for gender- it is a term with political power that we had to bring into the conversation to illustrate something. Not only is the M or F on our birth certificates an assignment, but it is coerced. Parents cannot say no, (just as many parents could not say no to doctors who wanted to mutilate intersex infants and reconstruct their bodies), and you cannot say no, can you? The term âcoerciveâ adds needed meaning that reveals the truth behind natal nomenclature and assignment: the truth of its constructed nature and its oppressive effects
This was from October 21, 2010
Which blatantly states how the C was newly added
This would be hilarious to me if it weren't something intersexist that people were taking as gospel
Korrasera seems to have responded (link) to this fact check of the false claims
I was going through the sources cited in the post to provide a fuller context, tone does not change what evidence shows. If doing so counts as misinformation, then that would mean the sources themselvesâor the way they were represented in your postâare misinformation. It reads less like a rebuttal and more like a Freudian slip. Note how she never explains how Velvet misrepresented the books or why my independent research (spanning years) would not count as a reputable investigation that has been performed.
CAGAB does NOT predate AGAB language. That's what my post was refuting. This new source further affirms what I stated. There is no evidence of CAGAB existing prior to 2009, as the citations begin 2010. The citations she suggests checking list the same source I ALREADY linked as the earliest I could find. Saying to seek out reputable sources functions to deflect responsibility in addressing the documented issues with her own.
The response is immediately recognizable to me as DARVO (link). Deny does not have to be "I didn't do that" verbatim, it includes the implications that things are made up, that she isn't responsible, and that we are not worthy of being listened to. She attacks by saying Velvet and I are "very angry people," how we're just trying to start fights (see this source [link]) and manipulate (see PDF). Her message conveys the implications of "you're a liar," "you're making it up for attention," and "why should I trust anything you have to say?" examples from the PDF. She then reverses the V/O, see the examples of "I feel singled out," as per this source (link), or "why are you attacking me / I'm the real victim" from the PDF. Mind you, she is not Plaidos so the post is not actually "coming after" her personally.
I cannot construe my own words to produce an ounce of angerâit was factual and evidence-based aside from the single exasperated exclamation of "oh my god"âexcept perhaps from a perspective that aligns with the historical stereotype used to dismiss minority voices (and their allies) who correct (relative) majorities.
My post blatantly says a trans woman came forward to say she coined it circa 2009. If I'm misrepresenting and lying ⌠that means a trans woman didn't coin it? None of this addressed anything I said. Not to mention, it was posted TWO DAYS after mine.
It's hard to manipulate people when a fuller context is provided. That's why I provided more context, so that an understanding could be sought by readers.
No where did I say lying or that I'm some bastion of truth? Note the irony in "they tell you that everyone else is lying" while implying to readers that... everyone else is lying?
My whole post is "let's check the sources" and the response is "don't listen to these people saying to check sources. Check the sources yourself!" What?
Anyways. Again. I'm going to say this. The citations that she says to check? The first one listed is the one I already provided as the earliest I could find
So tell me again how I'm wrong and lying. At this point, it's not just a misunderstanding, this type of response demonstrate a bias so entrenched that it prevents engagement with the facts themselves
Edit: that same day she asked (link) a user if they've ever heard of tone policing yet here she is doing just that
It's so hilarious to me that your response to her was "this is wrong, here are several sources that back up my own claim and disprove hers" and her response to you was "These people are wrong and they're just lying for attention. They're bitter, angry people who are manipulating you by trying to claim that everyone but them is lying to you!"
Like it's so obvious that her own response is just projecting. Everything she said about you two is exactly what she herself did. SHE didn't respond to anything you said and didn't engage in the active discussion, she just claimed you were lying manipulators and shut all conversation down. She knows that a lot of people aren't going to do their own research or even check her own sources or look at your post so she's just saying this to shut everything down. That's all she's doing. She knows you're right, she just doesn't like it.
okay but the community isn't just for alloaros. you say yourself that non aroallos can also join so why can't aroaces? you claim to want a space for people like you but then blatantly single out aroaces as people who could apparently never be anything like you and never share the same experiences.
I know what part of my post you're referencing and phrasing it that way is awful.
I said the community is for alloaros, questioning people, and aros who aren't ace but prefer not to use the label allosexual. The reason behind this isn't to specifically exclude aroaces or whatever.
The original definition of allosexual is "not asexual". That was the original intent behind the coining of the word and that is how I use it and how I will continue to use it. At its core, the label alloaro really just means "aromantic but not asexual". However, there are aros out there who aren't ace but don't really like to call themselves allosexual either. It's largely up to preference whether or not someone uses the label allosexual, but there's not really a difference in outword experience either way. The difference between alloaros and sex favorable aroaces is, on the other hand, massive! They're two completely different identities that are treated entirely differently, both within and outside of the aspec and queer communities.
The idea that sex favorable aroaces have comparable experiences to alloaros hinges on the assumption that all alloaros are also sex favorable, are having sex, or desire sexual relationships or that those are defining characteristics of alloaros. Alloaros aren't "aros who have sex" they're aros who aren't asexual. Just because a lot of the time our discussions involve sex and sexuality within our spaces that doesn't mean that's all we do. We also talk about how we're frequently shafted by the rest of the aspec community for not being ace. We talk about how the rest of the queer community only views aros as acceptable if they're also ace. We talk about the unique struggles that being aro without being asexual brings and many other topics unique to alloaros. Hell, a lot of the posts in the community are just "I love being alloaro!". Sure, sex favorable aroaces might have something in common with sex favorable alloaros, but it's not because they share a comparable identity!
I made the community so that aros who were not asexual could find each other and build community because the larger aspec community frequently forgets non-asexual aspecs exist and forgets that we also need community.
The community I made isn't "the place where aros who want to have sex go" it's "the place where non-ace aros can find people who identify the same way as them so they can talk to people like them"
Once again I say this: it's not the responsibility of alloaros to open up our spaces to you. I've hard countless times how ostracized sex favorable aroaces feel within aspec spaces and I feel for you, I do, but I've never seen someone create a space dedicated to that or even attempt to rectify that issue. I've only ever seen aroaces swarm to alloaro communities demanding entrance for xyz reason. I've been doing this for like 8 years and I've never once seen a sex favorable aroace community pop up or seen anyone talk about this issue outside of calling alloaros acephobic and exclusionary for not including them.
At this point, you're starting to sound like those men who say "but what about male abuse victims" when women talk about their experiences with abuse. Yeah, sure, these are things that absolutely deserve to be spoken about and supported but let's be real here: you don't actually care about sex favorable aroaces, you're just looking for a reason to call alloaros acephobic for wanting to be seen as a whole and complete identity.
I encourage you to do the same exact thing that alloaros have been desperately trying to do for years: make your own space for people like you. Make a sex favorable aroace/aspec community. Start posting about it and being vocal about your struggles. Start your own tag to help find each other. But don't demand that alloaros make space for you in our communities because you think you're entitled to be in every aspec space that exists!
I don't know what about getting sick makes me crave things that are objectively horrible to eat when you're sick but holy shit I've never craved a brownie more than I do in this moment
Hey gang, is it robbing aroaces to make a community specifically for alloaros?
And why the fuck do people keep saying the AlloAro Community That I Made Specifically For AlloAros is "mostly" or "mainly" for alloaros. It's a space dedicated to alloaros. What are you talking about?
And, you know what? You're allowed to make your own community. Make a sex favorable aroaces community or something. It's not the responsibility of alloaros to open up our spaces to you because you feel entitled to every single aspec space ever made.
