#tw minor

[stayingswag]

we’ll see how long this stays up before the creepy men find me

edit: so i had to take it down

[3-2-whump]

About the Author, or Adoption Trauma and Whump

Hi dear readers, this is 32W. Author, casual artist, and transnational adoptee, and as we reach the 28th anniversary of my adoption, I’m here to talk about adoption trauma and how it relates to whump.

TW/CW: adoption trauma, geopolitics, religious trauma (briefly mentioned/implied), gaslighting (briefly mentioned), objectification (briefly mentioned, sexual acts against a minor (briefly mentioned), metaphorical light gore

NOTE: The experiences of 32W with adoption are their experiences alone and cannot nor should be representative of every adoptees’ experiences. I love the people I call my parents, and I will always see them as such, but that does not change the basic facts that I will lay out below. This author also does not claim to be a geopolitical expert, nor a communist party expert, nor a Chinese spy -my god, I can’t believe I think I need to write that! Reader Discretion is advised.

I have been writing whump stories since my high school days back in 2010, and I have been writing pretty much the same story on and off for the past fourteen years. The names have changed, the faces have sort of changed, and the contexts have varied widely depending on what genre I had a phase in at that time, but a few core elements stayed the same:

Loss of culture

Loss of family

Loss of country

Loss of mother tongue

Forcibly living with someone who, though they could be worse, is still being forced to live with someone

Forced assimilation

Objectification

Losing trust in someone you trusted, respected, and loved

And while I have been writing whump with these themes for the past fourteen years, it only just occurred to me a couple months ago that all of those elements are also present in my personal experience with adoption. Basically, I process my adoption trauma through whump.

My parents wanted a baby. They wanted a baby after they had finally gotten my brothers out from underfoot, those problematic and troubled young men who are now strangers to me. My parents wanted a baby, preferably from another country, because of a recent court case in which the birth mother won back custody of her blood child and broke the adoptive parents’ hearts, so they wanted a baby from a place far away, where the chances of that happening were basically zero.

My parents wanted a baby.

And they got one.

From 1980 to 2016, the Chinese Communist Party implemented the One Child Policy in order to curb their country’s ever-climbing population. Consequentially, for many rural, agricultural, and often traditionalist families, this meant prioritizing sons over daughters, and thus hundreds of thousands of children –mostly girls- were scattered like stars, eventually landing in the arms of the richer, affluent Western countries. Though our circumstances of “abandonment” varied, we were all dispersed across the globe, unwilling, unaware, and now with different names and with parents that looked nothing like us.

Some of us ended up in good homes. I know I certainly did. My parents adored me, and I loved (still love?) them. They were a little weird sometimes, borderline objectifying me since I was a toddler and using religion to gaslight me into believing everything about our family situation was fine, but they also taught me about my culture, made me go to Chinese language school as a kid, and overall did their best. I’d like to think every kid, adopted or not, can say that about their parents. They did their best.

That said, this does not change the fact that they essentially bought me. This does not change the fact that I was forcibly separated from my home, my family, my culture. This does not change the fact that I have no official records and all but cease to exist until they got me. This does not change the fact that my birthday is a guess. This does not change the fact that they severed my tongue and stitched it back on, training it to speak their words, so that even after six years of Chinese school, I still cannot carry a conversation in what should be my natal tongue. That does not change the fact that I deliberately tried to lighten my skin with heavy makeup during the more cringe years of high school. That does not change the fact that my grandpa tried to molest me when I was eleven, and to this day, I am absolutely sure he never would’ve tried that shit with his blood grandchildren.

Their love and good intentions do change any of it.

So, I write whump to cope!

Please don’t feel sorry for me. I am not writing this for random internet strangers’ pity, I am just explaining rather graphically why I write the kind of whump that I write. Writing whump is cheaper than therapy. Exploring dark themes through fiction is a safe avenue for me to discover truths about myself that I did not even know before. And hopefully, my perspective may shed light on issues other adoptees may be facing that they did not have the words to express. And to those adoptees, I hear you, your feelings are valid, and my inbox is open if you want to talk. So, with that, I will conclude this essay, and promise you more good 32Whump content! Stay safe, yall!

[whumblr]

[spookydrreid]

Hey sorry I have a question about daisy- is it about a romantic and sexual relationship between a traumatized very young person and Spencer ? Like selective mutism is (mostly) a childhood mental illness so that’s quite worrying and then there is the whole consent issue if a person is struggling heavily with trauma and mental illness. There’s also duty of care issues with police officers and victims.

I may have totally got this wrong though and I really hope so. I just didn’t want to read it in case I was right for trigger reasons.

Hello anon! Please do not be sorry ever! I’m going to answer your questions in list form for myself, and others, so I can make sure every single concern is answered!

⚠️SPOILERS & POTENTIAL TRIGGER MATERIAL FOR ‘DAISY’ AHEAD PLEASE READ AT OWN RISK ⚠️

1) No! Daisy is not a story about Spencer having a sexual or romantic relationship with a traumatized young person. Daisy is 22 when she’s stumbles into the police station (and Spencer) after being held captive for ten years.

1a: But yes- when she was under the age of 18 (legal adult age in the United States) she was assaulted by her captor.

2) Selective mutism is mostly a childhood disorder. However, can occur in adults. And while every case is different, it can stem from anxiety or psychological disorders.

2a: Daisy had found that when she speaks, she is abused by her captor. And while Spencer will not do that to her, it is the life she’s known since 12 years old.

2b: to Daisy, speaking is final and creates consequences. So, to her, as long as she is quiet, she will stay alive. And Spencer must earn that trust.

3) I want this loud and clear: in later chapters their relationship will turn sexual. But when, and only when, reader has gone through therapy, trust Spencer, and can consent with her words while in a right frame of mind.

3a: While I am not a lawyer, I did go to college for paralegal studies and spent four years in law classes so I do understand how consent works in the sense of frame of mind. I will demonstrate this in MANY ways as the story goes on.

4) I also understand the whole issue of ‘duty of care’ between police officers and victims. So this is where I want to remind everyone:

4a: Daisy is work of fiction. It is a fictional story with fictional characters.

4b: So while, yes, technically Spencer has a duty to protect this 22 year old woman from doing anything that can harm herself or another, it’s still fiction.

4c: Daisy also has a right to give her statement of what happened to her and speak in front of a jury to give her victim impact statement in the United States where said story takes place.

5) I have, and always will, tag any content warnings before the reader can read anything else ❤️

I hope this answers your questions and please feel free to send more if you have them. None of this is meant to be negative but I do want the clarifications heard.

Xx

M

[moved-strabius-strawberry]

I have a genuine question

I am against teenagers (13-17) being in relationships with adults 18 and over. But, I do wonder...

I had a friend in high school who had a boyfriend in 9th grade, he was an 11th grader at the time and was very respectful and kind to her. In her second year, he was a senior and turned 18 years old. They maintained a romantic relationship, even when he started going to college, until she graduated high school. It wasn't until her first year of college that they broke up.

Because of the circumstances of how they initially got into a relationship, was it still inappropriate for them to be dating after he had turned 18? Technically she was a minor, but they had started dating when he was still a minor.

[theartofmining]

sometimes i forget i’m a minor and i accidentally say some risky shit

[redwingedwhump]

18 and 67 for Martin Solis?

(TW mention of minor in captivity)

Have they ever been in a romantic relationship?

Martin has not, not truly. He was a child when he was first enslaved as a thrall or laborer in a northern farmyard. He was treated as more a servant than slave, but kept awfully busy. He had almost-sweethearts, one or two girls. Stolen kisses, exchanged flowers. He was around 18 when that farm was raided and he was taken and sold to the House of Poppies. He’s always wondered what it felt like to really love instead of pretending for a night.

What is something that is simple, but always makes them smile?

A hot bath or wash. He does love to be clean. It makes such a difference.

[projectqueer]

Gawking at TransKid's Genitalia is "Freedom of Speech" says Philly PD

TW: transphobia, cissexism, harassment, child abuse